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“Maybe another day.”
Ethan kisses me on the top of my head then turns my lips up toward himself. He kisses them soundly before heading out the front door. Samson circles my legs and looks up at me curiously.
“The plan today, buddy, is to rest and relax. Are you good with that plan?” Samson hurries to the other side of the room and grabs a chew toy which he squeaks loudly.
“I’m not sure that’s resting and relaxing, but you do you.”
I head back to bed and pick up my phone again, having completely forgotten about Zoe’s text message. I stare at it for another moment. Why is she asking me this right now? Sure, she’s very caring, and she always has been, but it seems strange that she would text me when I’m right in the middle of going through something to make sure I’m okay.
Not doing the best.I finally tap out. I know that Zoe probably has to work today, but I appreciate her thinking about me. I always spend so much time griping about myself and my situation. I don’t even know what’s going on in Zoe’s life right now.
Aurora told us.
That message makes me sit straight up in bed. I gape openly at my phone screen.Told you what?
About the baby. I already knew of course, but Mia and Stella were surprised.
I growl at my phone as my fingers tap out a quick reply.How DARE she? I would never go talking about someone else’s pregnancy to people. That’s rude and…RUDE.
I send the text message to Zoe even though it’s mostly gibberish. I’m so furious I don’t even have the words to explain it. I hop out of bed realizing that I’m not going to get to relax calmly like I had hoped this morning.
The annoyance that now fills me fuels me to pace my room back and forth. Samson trots inside and drops the dog toy at my feet, but I ignore it.
Aurora used to be my best friend, but she’s stopped acting like it since I started making decisions she doesn’t like. I’m barely eight weeks along, and I haven’t even heard the baby’s heartbeat yet. It doesn’t even feel completely real to me, but Aurora thinks it’s okay to tell our friends.
I snatch up my phone, suddenly thinking of something else I want to ask.
Zoe has already responded with,Do you want me to come over? I could come on my lunch break.
I don’t want to need anyone. I want to be able to do things on my own, but the truth is that I do need someone. I’m struggling.
Sure. I would like that.
I toss my phone onto the bed, and Samson tries to snap it up in his mouth as it goes flying through the air. “Stop it, Samson,” I scold, not amused by his playfulness. Samson rubs up against me and waits for me to pet him.
I settle onto the ground and pet him, feeling guilty forsnapping at him. But it feels like just when I’m trying to get a handle on things, they go spinning out of my control again.
The other two dogs that are currently with us, Goofus and Luna, come into the bedroom to check out what’s going on. Pretty soon, I’m in the middle of a huge huddle. And I find myself smiling. These dogs love me, and they’re good at cheering me up.
When Zoe arrives a few hours later, she has Mia in tow. Mia’s eyes are round and curious as she follows Zoe into the house. I catch her glancing at my stomach a couple of times.
“Yes, I’m actually pregnant. It’s not something Aurora made up,” I announce so Mia doesn’t have to ask the question. I also don’t want to endure her strange stares.
“We’re worried about you,” Zoe says as she pulls me into a hug.
I relax into her embrace, reminding myself that it may feel like I’m alone, but I don’t have to be.
Then, Zoe plops onto my couch, and Mia takes a turn hugging me. When Mia releases me, I see that Zoe has taken out a bag lunch, and the three dogs have found places at her feet just in case she decides to share.
“Sorry, I have to eat while I’m here because I won’t have a chance otherwise.”
My stomach rumbles even though Ijustate, and I feel like my body is completely empty. “I think I need something too. Mia, are you hungry?”
“No, I had an early lunch today. You two go ahead.”
Once everyone is settled with their food, Zoe’s eyes fall on me. “Madison, tell us what’s going on.”
I shake my head. “I feel like you know more than I do. Aurora cut me out of the group chat?”