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I take a deep breath, the words catching in my throat. “I’m pregnant.”
There’s a long silence on the other end of the line, and for a moment, I think he’s hung up. I check the phonescreen to make sure he’s still there. But then Wesley speaks again, his voice softer now. “You’re…pregnant? Are you okay?”
I close my eyes, tears stinging at the edges. “I don’t know. I mean, physically, I guess I’m fine. But emotionally? I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do, Wes.”
“Okay, okay. Deep breaths.”
I follow his instructions, trying to keep these annoying tears in check. They like to appear all the time now.
“Does the guy know?”
I feel like I’m going to be sick. Nausea hits me in full force. “No. Not yet.”
“Do you want to tell him?”
“I… I don’t know. It’s complicated.”
Wesley sighs, but there’s no judgment in his tone. “Well, you don’t have to make any decisions right now. Take your time. But you don’t have to go through this alone, okay? I’m here for you. Whatever you need. I mean…call me at two a.m. to go to the pharmacy or whatever. I’ll do it.”
“Thanks, Wes. I just… I needed to tell someone. You…don’t sound upset.”
“Why would I be upset? I like kids.”
I laugh, an annoying bubble of giggles appearing. “Okay, it’s more complicated than that, but yeah, yay kids!”
“I’m just saying. I won’t change any diapers, but I’ll chase him around.”
“Wow. You jumped ahead pretty far.”
“I’ll be here for you, Sis.”
We talk a little bit longer, but I insist that we stay off the baby topic. It still feels too surreal, and I don’t want to think about it anymore. Talking with Wesley about other things calms me a lot until the dogs remind me that I have responsibilities.
“Hey, I need to go. Thanks for…listening.”
“Always. I have two ears and one mouth for a reason. See you.”
That’s my brother—a bit of a clown, but an encouragement when I need one.
35
ETHAN
I standin my driveway for longer than I normally would in the cold. I can see Madison’s house from here. The bushes that normally provide a sort of privacy are bare in the winter cold, and I’ve been watching her front door for the last twenty minutes.
I’m trying to get up the courage to go over there.
I’m not normally a coward. But this is a different situation. I’ve been in a lot of situations, but nothing like this.
I shift the package to the other hand. It’s small and could be hidden in my coat pocket if I worked hard enough, but I’m holding onto it right now so I can remember why I’m doing this. I have the key to Madison’s dreams in my hand. But giving it to her isn’t all I want to do. I want to tell her what I’m really thinking.
I know that doing this is taking a risk. But I’m a doctor. I take lots of risks.
It’s already dark, and I know that if I wait any longer, she might be thinking about going to bed early…if her canine visitors let her.
I take a deep breath and slide my phone out of mypocket. There, after only a couple of taps, are the pictures of the space I secured for her surf school. It’s perfect. Or at least, I hope it will be for her. I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t want it or if she pushes me away again.
I’m not giving her this gift as an exchange. I’m giving it to her because I want her to be happy. But if she turns to me and says she has feelings for me too,realfeelings, I’m certainly not going to miss my opportunity to be with her.