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I push aside the curtain and see Zoe standing there with wide eyes. I don’t know how she’ll feel about Bella and Bigfoot. And they sometimes jump. To avoid any trouble, I yank them toward their kennels and put them safely away. They still continue to bark, but at least they can’t make a break for it.
I finally open the door, and Samson sniffs at Zoe curiously. She puts a hand on his head as she steps inside. “For a second, I thought the dogs might have you tied up somewhere.”
I laugh. “No, they haven’t quite figured out how to dothat. Besides, I’m the only one who can open the door. They wouldn't want to tie me up.”
Zoe studies the two huge dogs in their kennels. They are still barking, and it’s difficult to hear anything. “If you go over and pet them through the cage, they’ll calm down.”
Zoe follows my instructions, and pretty soon, everyone has settled down. Zoe and I sit on the end of each of my couches. I sip at my tea. “Would you like some?”
Zoe shakes her head. “No, I just ate dinner actually. I’m good. What’s up with you?”
I study my cup, running my thumb along the edge. “I don’t know actually. I mean…”
“Madison, you can tell me whatever is going on.”
I swallow and think for a moment. “You’re right. I know I can. I just… I’ve gotten involved with an older man.”
Zoe’s eyebrows rise slightly, but I don’t sense any judgment from her other than that. Samson noses at Zoe’s lap, and she absentmindedly pets him.
“How did it start?”
“It started because…” I can’t tell how the relationship really started, because then Zoe will figure out who it is. So, I just make something up instead. “We kind of ran into each other. And he liked Samson. We talked for a little bit, and something…clicked.”
“How much older are we talking?”
“Like twenty years.” I wince as I say it. The number sounds smaller when it’s just in my mind. Out loud, it sounds enormous.
“And does he know how old you are?”
“Yeah, it…kind of came up.”
“Okay, so you met this guy. What’s his name?”
“Um, I’d rather not say. I don’t know who you might know, and…”
“It’s okay. I don’t need to know who he is. I get it. Okay, so you met this guy, whose name remains unsaid. And then…you talked to him. I mean, I have lots of conversations with guys who are my age or older or younger. That’s not something worth keeping a secret unless something else happened.”
I take a sip of my tea. How can I phrase this?
Zoe does the phrasing for me. “Did you…sleep with him?”
“Yes, kind of multiple times. And…” I can’t keep the silly grin off my face.
“It was good. Like he knows what he’s doing.”
Zoe chuckles a little. “Okay, so he’s good in bed. Is that why you’ve been absent from our meetings recently? You’ve been busy with him? Or has he tried to keep you from hanging out with us?”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. I mean, part of it is these dogs. If they don’t get their exercise in the evening, I won’t sleep that night. They have too much energy and start scratching something. It’s… They’re a lot.”
Zoe glances at Bigfoot and Bella and nods. “I can see that. I don’t know how you even keep them straight. They look exactly the same.”
“Anyway, yeah, we’ve started kind of hanging out sometimes.”
“So, it’s more than just sleeping together?”
“Not… I don’t know. It’s okay…. How do I explain this? It’s like I feel like I actually have feelings for him, but I know that we can’t…er shouldn’t be together.”
“So then why don’t you break it off now before it’s even harder to do that?” Zoe studies my face and seems to understand a lot more. “I see. You’ve already gotten to the part where it’s hard to break things off. Look, Madison, I knowyou think you enjoy his company or like…the benefits of being with him. But older guys are trouble. I’m going to ask you the tough questions, yes?”