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“Ethan…this is amazing. I can’t believe you did this. Is it… I mean… What’s the payment on it? I’ll… I can make a monthlypayment. I just couldn’t even get the bank to give me a loan. It was?—”
“No monthly payment. I just bought it outright. It’s yours, and there’s no strings attached.”
“But why did you do this then?”
I smile, feeling the tension in my chest start to loosen. “I wanted to do something that would show you how serious I am. How much I care. And besides, you deserve to have your dreams come true.”
But then, out of nowhere, her smile falters, and the tears start to stream down her cheeks faster than before.
“Madison? What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head and bites her lip. It’s a moment before she’s able to find her voice. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—God, I don’t know why I’m crying.”
I’m frozen for a moment, completely thrown. I thought this would make her happy. Is she crying tears of joy? Why isn’t she smiling then?
I can’t keep sitting so far away from her while she’s crying though. It just feels wrong. I move a little closer and slip my arm around her shoulders. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.”
But she pulls away, wiping at her eyes. “It’s just… it’s too much. I’ve been holding so much in, and this is… kind, but I don’t know why you did it.”
“I told you. I care about you. Relationship or not. We can at least… still spend time with each other occasionally. If you’re comfortable with that.”
I knew she was overwhelmed. I could see it on her face the second she opened the door. But I don’t know what she’s dealing with, other than any hell Aurora might be putting her through.
“I didn’t mean to push you or make things harder for you.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s not you. It’s everything. I’m just… I don’t know how to handle any of it.”
“What’s really going on? Is someone bothering you? Something I can help you with?”
She takes a shaky breath, staring down at the key in her lap, her hands trembling. For a moment, I think she’s going to tell me, but then she shakes her head again, letting out a long, slow breath.
“I just… I don’t know how to explain it all right now. But thank you. For the surf school. For believing in me. And I can pay you back once I get it running this summer. If…” Then, she trails off, and I don’t get to hear the rest of her thoughts.
“You don’t need to. It’s a gift. That’s it. No payment accepted.”
I reach out again, this time taking her hand gently in mine. “You don’t have to explain everything right now. But whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”
She looks at me then, her eyes filled with emotion. “Thank you.”
I nod, giving her hand another squeeze before letting go. “You don’t have to thank me. I just want to see you happy.”
She smiles at that. It’s a small, tired smile, but it’s enough for now. It’s enough to give me hope that maybe, just maybe, we can figure this out.
“Do you want me to stay for a little while?” I ask after a moment, unsure if she needs space or comfort right now.
She hesitates. I can see the idea warring back and forth in her eyes. She finally nods.
I scoot a little closer and pull her into my chest where Ican feel her shoulders heaving as she cries. I stroke her back softly and don’t feel the need to say anything for a long time.
Finally, she pulls back, but not very far. Her hand is pressing into my leg as she searches my eyes with her tear-filled ones. She’s only a few inches away from me, and I can think of another way I can comfort her.
If she rejects me, it will hurt, but I’ll accept it. I lean forward, my eyes closing, as I lean in to kiss her.
36
MADISON
My breath catchesin my throat, and for a second, I think I should stop this. I should pull away before it gets complicated. I don’t want things to go too far. And I can already see the way he’s moving in for a kiss.