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That’s when he takes my hint and moves faster, holding on to me as he thrusts himself in and out of me as fast as he can. I can’t catch my breath. Instead, I fall back onto the mattress and close my eyes.
I let ecstasy wash over me as I come on him. A moment later, Ethan jerks himself out as he comes. I should tell him I’m pregnant.
But I don’t want to ruin this moment. I just lie there with him for a few minutes, soaking in the sound of his heartbeat and the warmth of his skin.
After a few minutes, Ethan heads to the bathroom and comes back with some toilet paper. I don’t want to move, so I pat the spot beside me on the bed.
The room is quiet except for the sound of our breathing. My head rests on his chest, and I trace lazy patterns on his skin with my fingertips. I don’t want to ruin the calm that’s settled over us, but I know we can’t stay like this forever. There’s too much hanging over us.
“I talked to Aurora.” I can at least bring that up. I maynot have the courage to admit I’m pregnant yet. But we need to have this conversation.
I feel Ethan tense beside me, and I know he’s waiting for the rest of it.
“She said…” I bite my lip, trying to find the right words. “She told me I couldn’t be with you. That it would ruin everything between us if I didn’t promise to stay away from you. And I kind of… Well, I said it was a one-time thing.”
I feel Ethan sigh, and he brings his hand up to rub over his face. “Madison, you don’t have to listen to her. She came into my house pretty mad, too. Even though my relationship with her is important, neither one of us can allow her to make our decisions for us.”
I sit up and hug my knees to my chest. I’m still naked, but I don’t feel embarrassed. “I know. But she’s my best friend, Ethan. And she’s your daughter. It’s not like we can just ignore how she feels.”
He sits up too, running a hand through his hair, and I can see the conflict on his face. I know he didn’t want any of this to get so messy. Neither of us did. I certainly was never planning on sleeping with him again. But then again…when he came over, it just felt right.
And he cares about me! He said he cares about me.My thoughts sing through my mind as I realize what this really means.
“I want to see where this goes, but I have to be realistic. I don’t know how we can make this work. I don’t want to lose Aurora, but I also don’t want to lose what we…might have.”
Ethan reaches out and takes my hand, his grip firm and steady. “We don’t need everyone’s approval. What matters is what we want. If we want to be together, then we’ll find a way to make it work.”
I look down at our hands, his fingers laced with mine, and I want to believe him. I want to believe that it’s that simple. But what if it’s not enough? Loving him won’t fix everything.
“But how is it even going to work? Practically speaking. I mean…we’re completely different people.”
“We can take things slow. We don’t have to make any big decisions right away. We can figure things out as we go.” He shrugs like it’s so simple. But I’ve never been good at taking things slow. I’ve always fallen fast.
“Could we… Could we keep this a secret for now? At least until things calm down with Aurora? If it seems like… Well, we can always tell her later.”
“If that’s what you want, then yes. We can keep this between us for now. And I won’t go talking to any more co-workers.”
“Is that how she found out?”
Ethan shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “Yeah, it was kind of my fault. I didn’t… It should never have happened. Anyway, it won’t again.”
I lean into him, resting my head against his shoulder. “Thank you. I just… I can’t deal with everything all at once right now.”
He wraps his arm around me, holding me close. We sit in silence for a while, but there’s a calmness now that wasn’t there before.
I yawn, exhaustion finally catching up with me, and Ethan looks down at me with a soft smile. “You should get some sleep. It’s late. Have the dogs gone out for the last time?”
“No, but I should?—”
“I’ve got it,” Ethan offers.
And I want to resist. I don’tneedhim, but this time, Iwant to be taken care of. I finally nod, crawling under the covers. “Are you going to leave after you take them out?”
“I won’t if you don’t want me to.” Ethan is starting to pull on his clothes, preparing for the blast of frosty air.
I know that this is a big moment. We’ve never stayed over at each other’s houses, but this feels different. Finally, I nod, and a grin spreads across his face.
“Give me ten minutes to get these dogs squared away, then I’ll be back.”