Page 86

Her rejection hurts me, but I know that Aurora is slow to forgive. I just have to give her time. “Well, I’ll see you soon then.”
I head out into the cold, bending my chin into my chest. I chose to walk over. I head in the direction of my house, looking at the spot where Madison was parked. I wonder what’s going through her head. I wanted to pull her aside and talk to her tonight, but maybe she’s right. It’s better to wait until we can actually have a private conversation.
I have to tell her that I don’t want to keep pretending. People are going to judge, and Aurora might walk away from us. But in the end, I have to do what makes me happy. And I don’t think hiding what I feel for Madison will make me happy.
Those are the thoughts that circle through my head as I turn onto my street and head down it. I see Madison in the security light of her backyard taking a couple of dogs inside. I wait in the street to see if she’s going to come over or if I should ring her doorbell.
This conversation isn’t going to wait until tomorrow.
A few minutes later, Madison comes out the front door, bundled up in a hot pink coat. I smile at her, but she doesn’t smile back.
When she reaches me, I wrap my arm around her. We walk together to my house. “Are you warm enough? Do you want my jacket?”
“I’m fine.”
Once we step into my foyer, Madison shrugs off her jacket. She hangs it on the coat rack and turns to me. I look at her. She’s so beautiful, but there is also a frailty to her. She’s vulnerable.
I pull her close to me. She is stiff for a moment, and thenshe relaxes in my grip. I turn her lips toward mine and kiss her gently. Kissing her gives me a peace I haven’t felt in a few days.
“I don’t want to keep pretending. I don’t want to hide what we have anymore. Aurora will be angry. Other people will judge, but we have to tell people at some point. They will know you aren’t the Virgin Mary.” I try to joke, but Madison doesn’t laugh.
Instead, she snuggles into my arms.
“I know it’s not fair to you. But…Ethan, it’s just so complicated. Maybe you don’t care what your friends think, but if Aurora says the right things…I might lose all my friends. They’ll believe her.”
“I know this isn’t easy. Aurora’s not going to take this well. But we can’t just keep pretending, Madison. We need a plan—a time when we are going to tell people. And you can pick when that is, but I don’t want to hide our relationship indefinitely.”
“I just… I need more time. If you want a date…after I’ve had the ultrasound at the doctor’s. Then maybe… I’ll tell… I’ll have to tell everything then.”
I feel a pang of frustration, but I push it down. I knew this was going to be her answer. She’s been asking for more time since we decided that we wanted to be together. Maybe it will be harder for her than for me.
“The party tonight would have been different, more fun if we were able to be together. We would have attended together, talked together, and just had… a great time.”
“Ifwe were even invited in the first place. Aurora could have chosen not to invite us because of… what we’re doing.”
I kiss the top of Madison’s head. “Okay, so not Aurora’s party, butaChristmas party. Any of them. The hospital has a thing every year. I would love to take you, but…”
“But people wouldn’t be able to talk to us without asking how old I am.”
I don’t respond right away. She has a point. “They’ll get over it. I mean… I don’t ask anyone those questions. Just…ignore it. If they do say something, then it will only be the first time they meet us. Besides?—”
“I just don’t think I’m ready for something like that. I mean, a holiday party at your hospital sounds great in theory, but I like what we have when we’re alone.”
I laugh. “Hey, I like that too. But we can’tjusthave that all the time.”
“I don’t mean the sex!” Madison laughs.
“But you didn’t not mean it either. Be honest…you like it.” I push my hips up against her suggestively.
“Well, I won’t say no to that.Clearly, we like it. We have the proof.” She touches her stomach. But then, the moment passes, and the seriousness sets back in.
I brush her hair back from her face. “We’ll figure it out together. But I don’t want to pretend anymore. If you want to wait until after the ultrasound, I can do that. But if you decide you’re ready sooner, I can do that too.”
Madison snuggles deeper into me. “I’ll tell Aurora and the rest of the world. Just give me a little more time first.”
I nod, even though part of me is still uptight about the whole situation. But for now, I push it aside. Right now, I just want to be with her. I don’t want to think about anything else.
I lean down and kiss her, slow and tender at first, savoring the way her lips move against mine. She lets out a soft sigh, her hands sliding up to tangle in my hair, pulling me closer. My heart is racing, and I can feel the tension between us melting away, replaced by something deeper, something warmer.