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True to her word, Zoe shows up at my door in no time, her face immediately softening when she sees the state I’m in. My clothes are now covered in flour, and Tigger is still tracking it into the living room. It feels like no matter how much I clean up, he just spreads the mess that much more.
“Madison, honey, what happened?” Zoe gets on the floor next to me, not bothering to worry about her clothes getting dirty. She wraps her hands around me, and I fall into her hug. My eyes are tearing up again.
Where are all these tears coming from?
I pull back, wiping at my eyes. Then, the words just tumble out, “I’m pregnant.”
Zoe’s eyes widen in surprise, but she quickly pulls me back into a hug. “Oh, Mads. I had no idea. Have you… Have you told Ethan? It’s his, right?”
I shake my head, biting my lip to keep from crying again. “It’s his, but I can’t. We ended things. Aurora knows about us. You know the rumors she was spreading. I’m sure you figured out Ethan is the older man I was telling you about. I don’t know how she found out, but we decided it was better to end things so neither one of us loses our relationship with Aurora, and…I can’t tell himnow.”
Zoe pulls back and looks at me with a serious expression. “Madison, you have to tell him. He deserves to know.”
I know she’s right, but the thought of facing Ethan right now feels impossible. How am I supposed to explain all of this when I’m barely keeping it together myself?
“I just… I don’t know how. I need to get myself together first, and the dogs don’t make that easy.”
Zoe takes my hand and squeezes it. “You don’t have to do this alone, okay? We’ll figure it out together. Let me at least help you clean up the kitchen. Who’s responsible for this mess?”
I point to Tigger. Zoe grabs a towel from the stack on the floor and starts cleaning Tigger off before putting him in his kennel so he can’t get into the dirty kitchen again.
For a moment, I just watch, awestruck at how she comes in and takes over a situation. It immediately makes me feel better.
I get up and grab a broom. Sweeping everything up into a pile helps me feel like I’m making some progress. Maybe I don’t have any idea what to do with my life, but at least, I can deal with this problem. Zoe comes over a few minutes later and begins sorting through the food that was trampled, throwing most of it away but finding a few things that are salvageable. Neither one of us talks as we work, but it only takes us ten minutes to get the kitchen sorted out again.
“That wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be when I first walked out here.”
“It helps when there’s more than one person to clean it up.” Zoe offers a smile and motions for me to sit on the couch.
“I’ve learned to keep my pantry door shut…always.” I sink onto the couch and close my eyes. That extreme exhaustion hits me again, but at least I know it has an explanation now.
“Okay, let’s talk this through.” Zoe settles in next to me and squeezes my shoulder, and I love how calm she is about everything. It’s like she literally has nothing else to do or anywhere else to be. She can spend all the time in the worldwith me. “First things first. Take a deep breath. We’ll deal with one thing at a time.”
I nod, trying to steady my breathing. Zoe’s calm presence is exactly what I need right now.
“Have you been feeling okay? Any symptoms? I’m assuming you took a test, and that’s how you know.”
At first, my body balks. I can’t talk about it right now. I just found out. I haven’t even processed it. But then, I slowly let go of control and realize it feels good to let it go. Zoe is my judgment-free zone, and I feel calm with her around.
“Yeah, I just took the test, then the dogs… well, you saw. But I’ve been nauseous, exhausted, and just…off. I thought I was coming down with something at first, but then it was like the symptoms would come and go. It didn’t make any sense.”
Zoe nods thoughtfully. “It sounds like you’re already dealing with a lot. But you don’t have to figure everything out today. We’ll take it step by step. And I want you to know that you don’t have to do this yourself. I’m here with you, and I really think once you tell him…Ethan might be, too.”
I look over at her, feeling a little more optimistic just having her here. “Thank you.”
Zoe smiles. “You’d do the same for me. Now, let’s talk about what you want to do next.”
I hesitate, the weight of the question pressing down on me. “I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I should go to the doctor. I mean, how accurate can those tests really be anyway? Sure, I’ve been feeling a little sick, but I mean… I wouldknowif I’m pregnant, right?”
“I think some people do, but I don’t think every woman innately knows. That’s why pregnancy tests were invented. I think you can go to the doctor and get a blood test, though. I’d have to look into it. I don’t know that much about it.”
I nod, absorbing the information. Having a doctor tell me I’m pregnant would make it feel more real, I think. “Maybe I should do that.”
“Then, after it’s confirmed, you should tell Ethan. It’s going to be a big conversation, but you shouldn’t have to go through this without him.”
I let out a shaky breath. “You’re right. I’ll tell him. But…not today.”
Zoe gives me a reassuring smile. “No, not today. Take the time to absorb the information yourself and get the blood test if you want.”