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Zoe, ever the peacemaker, jumps in with a forced smile. “So, the Christmas party, right? We need to go over the final plans. I know that Aurora wanted a final head count. Has everyone gotten one?”
It’s like everyone suddenly agrees that pretending everything is normal is the best course of action. They all start talking about who else will be able to come as if the tension in the room doesn’t exist.
I try to keep up, nodding along when appropriate, but my mind is elsewhere. Is Aurora apologizing for acting like a jerk and yelling in my face? Or is she apologizing for thinking she can dictate who I date?
Because I know she’s right. I shouldn’t be with her father. He’s too old. He’s not a good match for me. But then why can’t I stop thinking about him?
I glance at Aurora. She normally leads our discussions and has the loudest voice. Not today. It’s clear that something is bothering her. It’s probably me.
She stays on the edge of the group, not really participating. I keep catching her glancing at me out of the corner of her eye, and every time our eyes meet, she quickly looks away.
After what feels like an eternity of surface-level chatter about the Christmas party I can’t even bring myself to care about at this point, Aurora finally pulls me aside, her voice low. “Can we talk? Alone?”
I swallow hard and nod, leading her into the small hallway just off the living room. It’s cramped, but it’s private enough for the moment. Besides, our friends have just gotten a lot louder like they’re purposely trying not to overhear whatever we want to say to each other.
Aurora takes a deep breath, her arms crossed defensively in front of herself. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean for everything to get so…ugly. I was upset, but I should have gone about it differently.”
I stay silent. What can I say? Yeah, she should have. She should have controlled her temper and maybe asked me what was going on.
“You’re my best friend, Madison, and then suddenly you’re with my dad? It felt like a betrayal. But I’ve had time to think, and I get it now. You didn’t do it to hurt me. You didn’t… You didn’t mean to make me feel like I was losing both of you. It’s wrong, and I want you to know that. Having s— Nope, I can’t even say it. It’s just wrong. It makes me sick. But I’m sure you know that.”
The idea of what I choose to do with myself making her sick annoys me. She has no right to decide what I can andcan’t do. But I can’t respond in anger. She’s trying to make amends, even if she’s not doing it the right way.
“Aurora, to be honest, I never wanted to come between you and your dad. I didn’t think through what I was doing, but…” I can’t say I didn’t care what Aurora thought. That would just make her upset all over again. Besides, it’s not true. Aurora has been my best friend forever.
“I just want you to make good decisions. And I think we both know that that…whatever it was wasn’t one of those. I really am sorry for everything I said. I was just… it’s been a lot to deal with, you know? But I can get over it. Eventually.” She pauses, looking me straight in the eyes. “But you can’t be with him, Maddie. Not ever again. That’s… That’s where I draw the line.”
My stomach drops at her words. I know she’s right, in some way. But I’m pregnant with her father’s child, and there’s no avoiding that fact. I can’t tell her, not now, but the reality is sinking in. This isn’t over, not by a long shot.
I force a smile, nodding as if I agree with her. “Yeah…I get it. And you’re right. I mean…there has to be someone my age.” I don’t know what to say, but Aurora already looks happier at the prospect.
Aurora lets out a small sigh of relief. She gives me a weak smile and then pulls me into a hug I’m not prepared for.
We go back out to join the group. Zoe eyes me, and I can tell she’s asking a lot of unspoken questions. She wants to know if I’m okay, and I appreciate the fact that she’s looking out for me.
I nod a little. We can talk later about what happened. I still don’t care much about the Christmas party, but I try to get into the spirit of things and talk excitedly.
“Madison, who are you bringing?”
“I don’t have many people to invite, but my brother said he might stop by. I’ve also invited a couple of people I met at the dog park.”
“Any cute guys?” Stella asks, completely unaware of the situation.
I shrug and nod. “They’re decent looking. You can meet them at the party…if they come.”
As the group starts gathering their things to leave, I can’t help but feel relieved. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my friends. I just have a lot to deal with right now. Zoe squeezes me in a tight hug before she leaves. “Call me if you need anything.”
I’m not sure if I’m being overly conscious, but she then glances at my stomach before heading out.
After they’re gone, I collapse onto the couch, my mind spinning with everything that’s happened. I can barely keep myself together as Samson collapses at my feet with a sigh of satisfaction about seeing so many people and smelling so many interesting things.
Without thinking too much, I grab my phone and dial my brother’s number. It rings a few times before Wesley picks up.
“Hey, Maddie! What’s up?”
I pause, trying to gather my thoughts. “I… I need to talk to you about something.” This is like a practice round for the real thing. The stakes aren’t as high with Wesley.
“I can hear it in your voice. What is it? You okay?”