Page 74

I pulled my hand back to my chest, my fingers tracing along the ridges of the scarred skin underneath them, pressing into the raw wound where my heart had once been. My lungs expanded, pushing my chest upward as I took a deep breath and slowly began to rebuild that wall I’d let crumble wrapped in his armsonly hours ago. The sound of stones stacking back together echoed in my mind, the barrier being reborn around me.

This is what I wanted, wasn’t it?

To be left alone. To be left in my misery away from anyone who would try to pull me out of it. I had finally done it—achieved that goal—pushed everyone I loved out of my life.

I had won.

Wiping a single tear from my eye, I steeled myself against the emotion and let the darkness creep back in. A quiet gasp escaped my lips as my head lifted from the pillow and Andrues came into view. He lounged casually in an armchair tucked in the corner, engrossed in the book that rested on the parlor table in front of him.

His eyes tore from the pages at my movement and locked onto mine.

“You stayed,” I whispered, surprise evident in my voice as I pulled the blanket toward my chest.

“You needed me.” A casual smile slipped onto his lips as the words collided with my half built wall. I stared at him, not knowing what emotion was flooding my body with warmth.

He had stayed.

A veil of silence fell over the room as my gaze lingered on him, his fingers slipping around the book and shutting it as he stood. He walked toward me slowly, almost cautiously, as if he wasn’t sure what version of me had woken up.

I tried to smile, to show that I had no intentions of being the vile person I was yesterday, but the gesture felt unnatural, felt like I was cringing away from him. I pushed my lips into a hard line, turning to face away from him as he stopped in front of me and stepped up to the side of my bed.

“About last—”

“Ataliia, I—” Our voices crashed together in unison and we both quieted as my eyes dropped to my hands.

My heart pounded in my chest as I picked at the varnish across my nails. I felt . . . vulnerable, and I hated it. The feeling was sickening and I couldn’t comprehend how people just allowed themselves to feel this way.

It felt shameful—weak—and I wanted itoutof me.

I wrapped my arms around myself like I could shield my soul from him, desperately praying that the numbness would fall back over me so I wouldn’t feel anything at all.

“I’m okay now, Andrues. Thank you for your help last night, but I can take it from here,” I said, my voice clipped.

“You are far from okay. And, as I told you last night, I am not leaving you. I meant that as literally as I did figuratively.” He said the words with such a definitive air that I knew there was no point in arguing, no point in fighting him on it.

My hands fell back into my lap and I stared blankly down at them, not sure if it was anger or gratitude I felt for the company. Closing my eyes, I let out a weighted sigh as I fell back against the headboard, rubbing my temples to try and soothe the aching between my ears.

“Shouldn’t you be off somewhere following Landers around like a puppy?” I groaned.

“Fortunately for you, my schedule is open.” I could hear amusement in his voice as I dug my fingers deeper into my skin. “And Landers is not in Locdragoon for the time being, so it seems you are stuck with me for the foreseeable future.”

My eyes snapped open as my spine straightened. “Where is he?”

“In The Silliands; they left early this morning.” His brows furrowed as the blood drained from my face.

“Who is ‘they’?” I asked slowly, praying it wasn’t the answer I was expecting. “And why the hell are they in The Silliands?”

“Hyacinth, Wren, Landers, and Dukovich. They are—”

“And no one thought I should know about this before it happened?” I hissed, cutting him off as that venom crawled back to the surface.

He raised a brow, crossing his arms over his chest.

“They did. If you came to any of the council meetings, you would know a thing or two about what has been occurring outside of yourself.” Andrues’s tone matched the coldness in mine and the truth of his words stung like a thousand tiny cuts.

He was right, he always seemed to be right.

“Okay . . .” I said quietly, trying to calm the anger, to force it out of me. “Tell me everything I’ve missed.”