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A sad smile crossed her lips as she strode back to my bedside and pressed her lips to my forehead. “I love you back, Ata.”

She tethered from the room and the space felt empty without her presence as I shifted in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I didn’t pull my eyes away from the stones above me as the door opened and closed.

The heavy thud of Dukovich’s boots echoed off the walls as he trudged to my bedside and lowered himself back into the chair beside me. Tears slid from the corners of my eyes down my face but I refused to look at him. He was the last person I wanted to see me cry.

The crumbling of my soul started at birth.

I think that some women were born with despair in their veins and I was beginning to believe I was one of them.

For as long as I could remember, there was a darkness lingering just under the surface, waiting for the moment it could take hold of the light. It found that moment when I became his prisoner, and I didn’t know if I could ever forgive him for that.

“Ataliia,” Dukovich whispered, his voice tight as his hand slid across the bed, reaching for me.

I pulled away, crossing my arms over my middle, and could have sworn I heard his heart beating in the silence.

He shifted in his seat. “The scars . . . are they . . . are they from—”

“Yes.” I didn’t need to hear the rest of his words to know what he was asking.

A growl rumbled in his chest. “Every one of the men that touched you, the Priestesses—I will kill them for what they have done to you. Every finger, every hand that marked your skin, I will sever them from their bodies and bring them to you. I will not stop until you have their heads.”

Chapter thirty

HYACINTH

Myfeetcouldnotcarry me to my chambers fast enough.

My hand was clutched in a fist against my stomach as I raced through the staff corridors. It was still the early hours of the morning and these halls would not come alive for another hour or two but my head was screaming, my skin buzzing as if I was already in a crowd of people that I couldn’t escape. My throat was beginning to tighten with every step I took, watching as the corridor seemed to lengthen before my eyes.

I needed this bloodoffof me.

My mind was too frantic to tether. I couldn’t keep a thought in my head long enough to trust I would get to my rooms. I slipped from the staff chambers and sprinted down the last corridor leading to my rooms, the soles of my boots beating against the marble and echoing off every surface. I almost didn’t see Asrai as my body shot around the corner and I frantically reached for my door.

“Hyacinth, what’s wrong?” she barked, concern creeping into her tone as I shouldered passed her and ran to the lavatory.

She hurried in behind me, shutting the heavy door at her back as I collapsed over the bin and vomited. The smell of bile and blood made my stomach roil again as I panted into the golden cylinder.

I had killed men before.

Watched as their bodies splintered and bled before me.

But this time was different. It was like an animal had possessed me, so carnal and violent. I could still feel their organs in my hand as I ripped their entrails from their bodies.

Another round of vomit shot up my throat from the thought, the acidity of it burning the thin tissue as it expelled itself from my body.

Water rushed from above me then stopped as Asrai knelt down and held a glass out, a silent order to drink. With a groan I pushed away from the bin, leaning my back against the cool marble wall as I took the cup from her hand and drank, emptying every drop.

“What has happened?” Asrai asked, her voice sharp with worry.

My head fell back against the wall as I slid my knees up to my chest and rested my arms over them.

“Ata,” I whispered, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “She was attacked last night.” I didn’t have to look at Asrai to know that her back straightened, that her eyes had latched themselves to the side of my face. “Dukovich is with her at the infirmary and I have already sent word to Landers and Andrues.”

It wasn’t until I felt Asrai’s body brush against mine that I opened my eyes to see her sitting beside me, her face pulled into tight lines. Her arm slid around my back and I let out a sharpbreath as my head fell onto her shoulder. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as her other hand slipped into mine.

“It would be safe to assume, then, this blood, is that of her attackers, yes?” she asked, her voice a low hum against the electricity crackling below my skin.

A nod was the only response I could muster as I sucked in a deep breath, working to calm my nervous system.