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“What about the length of them?” Pri interjected.

“I don’t know. Why?” Ata responded, her tone sharpening with annoyance.

“Sometimes the smallest changes bring the most insight,” Wren began, leaning his elbows onto the table. “You should start tracking them, writing every detail down that you can remember when you wake. You should also start staying with someone, just to be safe.”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t she be safe?” I asked, my eyes flickering between Wren and Pri.

“I am not suggesting that is the case, but I think it would ease all of our minds if she is no longer alone. We are worried—”

“I am right here. Do not speak of me as if I am not,” Ata snapped, straightening in her chair.

“Ata,” Wren said her name slowly, like he was trying to keep an animal calm. “We are all worried about you. Not only becauseof the dreams, but you have been acting erratic. You have not been yourself . . .”

I knew the moment the words left Wren’s mouth it was the wrong thing to say, and judging by the way his jaw tensed he knew what was coming next. Ata shot from her chair, her palms pressing into the table as she looked over at him.

“Ataliia.” Andrues stood quickly, cutting in before she could speak.

Ata’s gaze snapped to him as he shook his head. I watched, unsure of what unspoken conversation was passing between them as my gaze fell to where Ata’s hands pressed against the wooden table. My eyes widened as I watched her hands shift back into her own. She took in a deep breath, closing her eyes as she let the air flow out from her nostrils.

She was losing control of her magic.

“Eat, all of you,” Pri commanded, shooting Wren a soft glance and breaking into the growing tension. “We are not going to waste a perfectly good meal.”

Ata lowered herself back into the chair, Andrues’s eyes still locked on her. We ate in silence for the next while, our silverware scraping against china, the only sound echoing through the tense space.

I cleared my throat, setting my fork on my plate before pushing it away from me.

“I was thinking, when we go to Ithia in a few days . . . I want to bring Cai and Calista back with us along with the other dragons. Winter solstice will be here in a few short months and I’d like for them to be able to celebrate with us for the new moon ceremony.”

“Really?” Ata snapped. “You’re concerned about a party with everything else that is going on?”

I sucked in a deep breath, closing my eyes and tried not to let her words sting.

But they always did.

Not because I was hurt by the words themselves, but because it was her saying them. In the last nine months she had become . . . cruel, and it seemed like no matter what I tried, no matter what I did to connect with her, it always had the opposite effect.

She was angry, we all were, but it was as if her anger was infecting her, taking over the person she had been and she didn’t care to stop it. In the past she would have killed people for the way she spoke to me now. I knew we weren’t the same people that left the academy, knew we would never get those versions of ourselves back, but looking at Ata now, I didn’t recognize her. The love and the kindness she had always held in her heart despite the rough exterior, was being eaten alive by her pain.

“Yes,” I breathed, turning toward her. “It’s important that we try to find any pockets of joy we can, knowing what’s coming. And besides, it’s not just any party. It’s Winter Solstice.”

“I think it is a fantastic idea,” Pri added with a reassuring smile. “I, for one, have been dying for a reason to get back into the kitchens to cook. So, I will start planning the menu and you plan the party.” I could see the elbow she jabbed into Wren’s side and smiled at her effort. I could always count on her.

“Yeah of course, Cin,” Wren said, rubbing his ribs. “Just let us know how we can help.”

Ata scoffed as Landers’s thumb rubbed over my hand in comforting, grounding circles. He understood my struggle with her, the heartache I felt every day seeing her slipping further and further away from me, away from us. He had held me on so many nights as I cried into his chest from the sheer pain of missing her.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I felt our bond stretching, fraying at the edges, threatening to snap at any moment. The thought of losing her, of watching ourfriendship crumble like a sandcastle against the tide, filled me with such sickening dread.

But I didn’t blame her. How could I? He had been protecting me, helping me. If I hadn’t used my magic, If I would have just begged for his life, given myself over to them—he would still be here and we would still be whole.

Five of us had left the academy and the three that remained were nothing more than shells of our former selves.

“This castle hasn’t been decorated in years and the students are dying to come see it. They haven’t been back since they first arrived in Locdragoon, so what if we let them come decorate for Solstice?” Pri asked, tugging me out of the black hole my thoughts were becoming.

I smiled at her, though I could tell it didn’t reach my eyes. “I like that idea.”