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I couldn’t seem to get through a single day without pushing the people that loved me, the people I loved, a little further out of reach.

Chapter five

HYACINTH

Isatatthedining table in the center of the banquet hall, waiting for the others to arrive as I basked in the silence. The doors leading out onto the balcony had been pulled shut to keep the crisp air locked out.

The pads of my fingers tapped against the mahogany table as I sipped my coffee and looked around the room. A grand hearth sat on the far side of the room, filling the space with heat from the fire flickering inside. The wood floors were a deep brown with emerald and gold carpets strewn over them. Tapestries and paintings hung from the stone walls, portraits of warriors and the sprawling fields of Locdragoon. A gold chandelier hung from the ceiling above the table, its candles helping the fire light up the room.

I studied a portrait of a young woman, holding a child in one arm and a dagger in the other as the doors to the hall burst open. Ata and Pri’s voices began to fill the room and I smiled into my coffee as I pulled my eyes away from the painting and focusedon them. They moved toward the table, pulling out chairs as they sat.

“I still cannot believe you enjoy spending time with those children, especially when you could be gathering intel with me,” Ata said, pulling out a dagger and spinning it between her fingers.

“Come talk to me in a century. By then, you’ll be begging for a change too.” Pri chuckled, reaching for the kettle placed in the middle of the table and pouring herself a cup of coffee.

She looked tired—stressed. The dark circles under her eyes were more pronounced than I had ever seen them.

“Doubt it,” Ata retorted, leaning back into the chair and swinging her legs over the arm rest as Landers, Wren, and Andrues stepped into the room.

My heart fluttered at the smile Landers gave me as he strode to my side. Everything felt easier when he was beside me. Tucking a curl behind my ear, I set my mug on the table and smiled back at him before greeting the others.

“Finally,” Ata snapped, slamming the point of her dagger into the table.

I flinched at the sound and looked across the table at her. She gave me an apologetic smile as she pulled it from the wood and pushed it back into the belt around her waist.

“Well, aren’t you in a lovely mood this morning,” Wren said in Ata’s direction as he kissed the top of Pri’s head then took the seat beside her, across from me.

Landers and Andrues slid in on either side of me as plates and dishes of food began appearing on the table. Elric stepped into the room from the staff corridor, whispering something to one of his men before they scurried out of the room then quickly took a seat next to Ata. I watched as she adjusted her body away from him.

Landers slipped his hand into mine before he leaned onto his right elbow, resting his chin on his fist, and winked at Ata. A grin spread across his face as Ata rolled her eyes in an effort to conceal the smile the gesture forced onto her face. And though she tried to hide it, I could see the fondness she had for him just under the surface.

I didn’t know if I would ever get used to it, seeing him care for her as if she was his family—I never realized it was something I’d desperately craved. I’d been conditioned to justify my relationship with Ata, to defend the love I held for her. He knew how much she meant to me and wasn’t threatened by it, but Taft . . .

“I might as well jump right in before Landers takes it upon himself,” Ata started, her voice pulling me out of the spiral I was seconds from falling into.

I had to go to the dungeons today, I needed to finally face him.

“The dreams I’ve been having—the ones where I am burning—last night, they changed,” Ata said, taking in a deep breath as she looked over at me. “It’s Cin now. She’s the one burning while sitting on the throne.”

The room fell quiet and Ata cleared her throat, glancing to Andrues before meeting Landers’s eyes.

“I’ve thought about it, and I will give Dukovich access to my mind under one condition.” She lifted a brow in Landers’s direction.

“Name it, and it is yours,” Landers responded.

“When he betrays us, and hewillbetray us—I get to be the one to kill him.” Ata’s voice was sharp as the words left her lips and a smirk slid across Landers’s face.

“I can live with that.” Landers nodded. “We will meet with him tomorrow.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” I asked, silently begging her to meet my eyes, but she refused as her jaw feathered at the question.

“No,” she snapped, leaning back into her chair and propping her chin into the palm of her left hand. Landers’s hand squeezed tighter around mine, knowing the sadness that flared in my chest at her clipped tone without having to tell him. I knew he could feel it, the pain of her unwillingness to acknowledge me if she didn’t have to.

Ata’s gaze drifted to Andrues as he gave her a reassuring nod and I almost missed it—the small smile that flickered across her lips for only a second before she tore her eyes away from him.

“Has anything else changed in these dreams? Anything at all?” Wren asked, his brows furrowing as he leaned around Pri to look at Ata.

“Other than the location and who is being burned, no. I do not think so.”