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“You did not have to.”

I sucked back the tears that were becoming harder to hide with every word he spoke, and instead of showing him the remorse—the agonizing regret I felt, I showed him myrage.

“You have some nerve threatening me over how I handle my friendship after the way you spoke to Pri. None of this would have happened if you had shown her the respect she deserves,” I spat, taking a small step away from the fury I saw rain behind his eyes.

A sinister chuckle vibrated from Landers’s throat as he leaned in closer, his breath gliding across my skin like dragon’s fire as my back struck the freezing window.

“You think that was the first disagreement Prianaan and I have had? The first time she has seen me angry? We have been together for centuries, and the difference between me and you, Ataliia, is that in all those hundreds of years, not once have I laid a hand on her.”

The tears had finally broken free, streaming down my face like acid. Landers took a step away from me, studying my face as the lines of his softened. He let out a heavy breath and a pained expression flickered in his features as he dragged a hand through his hair.

“Hyacinth wanted to wait to give you this as your Solstice gift,” Landers said, holding a large iron key out toward me. “It is the key for the house you have always spoken of. After what you have done today, I think it is best for all of us if you move your belongings there in the morning.” My stomach bottomed out as I stared at the key in his hand and my body recoiled from the sight of it.

“Landers . . .” I stifled the sob clawing its way from the depths of my hollow chest. “I-I can’t take that. I don’t—”

“I am not asking, Ataliia,” Landers said, his voice firm as he reached for my hand and pressed the key into my palm before closing my fingers around it.

He let my hand fall from his as he placed his palm on my shoulder and squeezed it tight.

“You have more love surrounding you than most have in an entire lifetime. Do not let that slip from your grasp because you are unwilling to face your demons. You are stronger than you know, Changeling.” He smiled down at me softly and pulled my chin up to meet his eyes. “Now is the time to find that strength and fight for yourself.”

He took a step away from me and as I watched his body vanish from the room, a sob tore from my lungs.

Chapter twenty

HYACINTH

Magicbegantocracklein my palms and I clenched them shut, trying to slow it, to stop it from exploding out of me as I rounded the corner of the corridor leading from the throne room’s entrance. The moment I was out of sight I stepped into the tether, letting it rip me apart as it dragged me from the castle’s walls.

My beaten body screamed against the pain, but anything—anythingwas better than the feeling of my heart cracking in two. My face pulsed with pain as I landed in a thicket of trees in the furthest corner of Locdragoon that my mind could think of. Tears spilled from my eyes, raging waterfalls that echoed the turmoil coiling inside my body as I screamed into the sky.

Searing tendrils of gleaming energy exploded from my skin, obliterating everything in its path for miles. The roar of splintering trees and shattering rocks echoed around me as I was knocked to the ground. My knees slammed into the frozen earth, sending waves of pain through my body. With another scream,my fists struck the unforgiving forest floor, feeling the sting of my skin splitting against the hard ground.

Everything was wrong.

My heart felt like it was being crushed under the weight of the crumbling forest around me. Everything was falling apart in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, clutching my chest as I rocked back and forth on my knees. The cold winter air pierced through my thin sweater but I didn’t care. I could barely feel the cold over the ache that was pulsating under my breasts.

“I miss you so much,” I wailed into the barren sky, hoping that wherever he was, he could hear me. “I don’t know how to do this without you. I don’t know how to keep us together.”

The words came out of me in short gasps as I tried to breathe against the hell that had been waiting to take me, waiting for me to shatter so it could latch its claws into my skin and pull me into its depths. I could feel myself caving in, giving in to its begging.

“Cin?” Wren’s voice called out and I turned to see him standing only yards from me. I hadn’t seen him get here, hadn’t heard him—but the sight sent a new wave of grief crashing over me.

I had taken his brother from him.

His only family had been ripped from his life—because of me.

His footsteps echoed as he sprinted toward me, his arms outstretched. He dropped to his knees, scooping me up and crushing me against his chest. I could feel his heart hammering through his tunic as his body melded into mine.

“It should have been me,” I cried into his chest, the tears streaming from my eyes burning the cuts marring my face.

“No,” Wren said, his voice commanding as he pushed me away from him, both of his hands gripping my shoulders as his own tear-stained eyes locked onto mine. “No, Hyacinth. I do not care what Ata says, what venom she must spew to extract thepain from her heart—this was not your fault. My brother was the best man I have ever known and he did not die for you to live your life drowning in guilt.” Wren’s voice cracked as he said the words, pain exploding behind the eyes that were staring into mine.

I watched as new tears slipped over his skin, but he did not move to wipe them away.

“None of us have grieved him. None of us have dealt with the pain of losing him, not really. We have buried ourselves in our vices, hoping to find some reprieve in the absence of feeling. But we won’t find it. We have to face it, and we have to face it together.” His fingers dug deeper into my shoulders as he shook his head.