Page 92 of 3 Daddies to Go

I sniffle.

“I wish you would trust me, Trudy. I know what I’m doing.”

Her voice softens.

“I’m trying to protect you. I don’t want to see you hurt again. Promise me you’ll let this go?”

“I promise I’ll let them go.” The words taste like a lie on my lips. My heart wants to see where this could go. What if they meant it when they said they loved me? I love them, too. Isn’t that enough to try?

“Good,” Trudy says. I’m glad she’s at the airport. If she were here, she’d see the indecision on my face. “I love you, Kendall. I promise we’ll go guy-hunting as soon as I get back. Maybe I’ll bring you a sexy Italian as a souvenir.”

I laugh, wish her good travels, and hang up. Still in my towel, I fall down on my bed. Exhaustion washes over me. I could barely sleep last night. My every thought was tainted by the guys. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw their faces. When I finally did fall asleep, my dreams were filled with them.

“I love them,” I say aloud. It’s embarrassing to think about it. I fell in love with three men. Does that make me a slut?

Just over a week ago, I was asking myself that same question. They had only eaten my swollen folds then, but now, they’ve had my every hole. I still don’t feel like a slut, though. I feel like a woman in love.

Why doesn’t Trudy understand that? How can I make her see how important the guys are to me? I’m so foolishly, hopelessly in love with them.

Maybe I can go to New York.

My heart races. It would be overwhelming, but I could see the guys again. Maybe I could surprise them the way they surprised me.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. That’s a bad idea. What would be the point? I may love them, but a relationship like this would never work. It’s far too complicated. Trudy is right. I should wait until she gets back, and then I’ll put myself out there again. I was hurt, but I’m wiser and more resilient than I used to be.

Except I’ll be comparing every guy I meet to Tag, Tanner, and Trace. No one will compare to them.

I start to get wet just thinking about last night. How can the guys who hurt me so badly still make me horny? My body and my heart want more of them, even with my brain screaming that it’s a bad idea. My fingers find their way beneath my towel. Doing it myself doesn’t feel nearly as good as when the guys touch me. I think they’ve ruined me completely. I’ll never find a guy who makes me feel as good and as full as they did. I want to hate them for that, but instead I want to feel them again.

I sigh and get off the bed. They’re in New York, and I’m in Boone. They probably haven’t thought twice about me since they hopped on their jet. I need to push them out of my mind, like I promised Trudy I would. From my closet, I pull out a pencil skirt and a nice blouse. I throw the clothes on, not caring if they match. I have to get to work.

I’m tempted to call in sick. I’m in no place, emotionally, to be working a full day.

I shake away the thought. I need to get out of my apartment. If I stay here, I’ll spend all day thinking about the guys. At least at work, I’ll be able to keep myself busy.

My coworkers are going to know something’s up. Ever since I yelled at Renata, things have been better for me at work. But my coworkers know I lied about having a boyfriend, and they think I was lying when I said I was seeing someone new. Maybe if they see me like this, they’ll know I was telling the truth. I look heartbroken.

Renata will have a field day with my messy hair and puffy face. She didn’t like me standing up to her, and she’s only gotten meaner. I try to force myself to care, but it doesn’t come. If Renata wants to pick on me, that’s her deal. I’m already too destroyed to let it bother me.

With one last look in the mirror, I steel myself to head to the office. I remind myself that it’ll be good for me, being busy. I look as good as I’m going to look, so I head for the door. There’s a noise outside, but I assume it’s one of my neighbors.

I’m shocked when I open the door to find Tag, Tanner, and Trace standing in front of me.

“I thought you were in New York?”

Tag shakes his head.

“We couldn’t leave. Can we come in?”

I nod and let them in. It’s strange having them in my apartment again. They look out of place in their fitted jeans and button-down shirts. My eyes find every dish in the sink, every ring on the coffee table, and every dust bunny that needs to be swept.

I wrap my arms around myself since I can’t protect them from seeing my disgusting apartment. At least I can hide my disgusting body. Just a week ago, these guys made me feel beautiful. Now, I wish I could shrink out of their gaze. All it took was one day to change everything completely.

“Why are you here? There’s nothing for you in Boone.”

“You’re wrong,” Tanner says, his eyes soft.

“You’re here,” Tag adds. “That’s enough for us.”