Page 5 of 3 Daddies to Go

He looks at me askance.

“Seriously?”

I shrug.

“Hey, whatever you want, my man. You want us to laugh and smile, that’s fine. You want us to cry, even better. But if you want to leave, you know we have your back.”

Herbie’s shoulders slump, and he just shakes his head.

“No, Trudy is good for me. You know how lonely I was before I met her. Sure, she’s bossy but she also lifts me up and helps me feel better about myself.”

I clap his shoulder and smile wanly. I hope Herbie knows what he’s getting into with Trudy because the woman seems batshit crazy to me. Of course, I’ve only met her a few times, but those few times were more than enough.

For example, last year Herbie brought her up to visit NYC. Herbie’s other groomsmen and I tried to show her around our favorite places, but all Trudy did was complain about how touristy it was, and how she wanted to go to the most expensive restaurants. She threw little tantrums every time she didn’t get her way, and it was utterly ridiculous. Tanner, Tag, and I confronted Herbie over video chat a week later and begged him to break it off with Trudy.

But instead of breaking up with her, Herbie announced that they were engaged. It took us all by surprise, to say the least. We’re happy for the guy, but I’m worried that he has a difficult road ahead. I don’t want to see one of my best friends eaten alive by a crazy woman.

Herbie wipes his hands on his trousers. Subtly, I hand him a tissue to wipe his damp, pink face. My buddy is a portly man, short and pudgy, and when he gets worked up, he looks like a tiny, nervous Santa. He may be the mayor of Boone, but it’s not like being mayor of a small town has a lot of clout or a large salary. I have to hand it to Trudy on that, at least. She isn’t marrying the guy for his money or status. No offense to Herbie, but I highly doubt Trudy is marrying him for his looks either, which means she must actually love him.

Then I force that thought away. I need to be less judgmental. If they’re happy, I can be happy for them.

“What’s taking so long?” my friend whispers in the heat.

I glance towards the still-closed doors. A sick part of me hopes Trudy is getting cold feet out there. At least if she bails, Herbie won’t be locked down for life.

“No clue. Want me to go check it out?”

He shakes his head.

“I’m sure it’s fine. Probably a wardrobe malfunction or something. I know Trudy – she’ll want her entrance to be perfect. She won’t walk out until she’s ready.”

I roll my eyes, grateful that Herbie’s turned away. I love the guy, don’t get me wrong. We’ve been best friends since childhood, and I only want what’s best for him, but still. His fiancee is absolutely ridiculous.

Finally, the wedding planner enters and whispers to the organ player, and immediately, the man turns forward and begins to play. Swells of music waft up in the air and I manage a half-smile. It sounds terrible, to be honest, but at this point, it doesn’t matter.

I glance at my fellow groomsmen, Tag and Tanner, and can tell that they think the music is awful too. The two of them manage to smile without wincing, and I’m proud. We have to do right by our friend.

After all, the four of us have been buddies for a long time. I met Herbie in kindergarten, Tag moved to our school in first grade, and Tanner was the last addition, not arriving until fourth grade. Since then, we’ve been inseparable. We survived middle school and high school together, and even went to the same university and lived together all four years.

But after that, our paths diverged. While Tag, Tanner, and I followed job leads to New York, Herbie stuck around in Georgia. He took a job in Atlanta, working in the governor’s office, which is where he met Trudy. Why he decided to move to small-town Boone with Trudy a few years after that, I’ll never understand. His bride is a pretty girl, but she’s no Angelina Jolie.

Nonetheless, the four of us have kept in touch as best we can over the years. Tag, Tanner, and I come back to visit Georgia as often as we can. We still have family here, so it makes sense to swing by once or twice a year, but it’s been a long time since we were all here together. As successful professionals, it’s hard for our schedules to line up.

Suddenly, the church door slips open just slightly and in sneaks a young woman. Her dress is ridiculous because it’s purple, poofy, and huge. There’s no way anyone would wear that thing on purpose, which means she must be one of the bridesmaids.

She tiptoes towards the organ player, whose energy doesn’t seem quite right for a wedding, and taps him on the shoulder. After a heated exchange, entirely in whispers, the guy trudges out the side exit, and the bridesmaid takes his spot. She starts to pound away at the organ, and honestly, it sounds a hundred times better than what the guy was doing. He was playing like someone died, whereas this girl has talent in her fingertips.

“What just happened?” Tanner grunts, staring at the new organ player.

I shrug.

“Hell if I know. My guess is that Trudy didn’t like the music and sent this woman in to assassinate him.”

He laughs. “You’re probably right.”

I lean over to Herbie and whisper, “You ready, my friend? You sure you don’t want out?”

He grins from the side of his mouth while still trying to look presentable.