Page 33 of Your Love (Merrimack Mavericks Hockey #3)

Chapter 33

“Iris”

Landry - Age 23, 1993

K erri guides me down the sandy beach, pointing out various spots along the way.

“So that shrub right there is where I was hiding right before the ceremony started,” she points out. She decided to give me a tour of her greatest hits from yesterday, and so far, it’s been very entertaining.

“And right there is where I was crouched down, trying to muster up the courage to go talk to you,” she says, gesturing towards a specific spot on the beach. “And that’s where you were standing, but you probably remember that part,” she says with a sheepish smile. “Oh, and down there—see that log—that’s where I tripped and ate shit as I ran away from the wedding I tried to end,” she recounts with a self-deprecating laugh.

Despite my best efforts, a chuckle escapes my lips at her confession. Unbothered, she continues her tour.

“Right there in the sand and the surf is where I cried after I fell. The salty ocean washed away my tears and carried my blood out to sea. I’m sure it enticed a million sharks, who I would have gladly been eaten by at that point in time.”

Her finger points towards the grand hotel, its towering structure looming behind us. “And that’s the path I took, limping like a crazy person to get back into the hotel.”

I’ve given up trying not to laugh at this point. Her recollection of events, while unpredictable and chaotic, is still endearing.

Since yesterday, I’ve been trying to process everything that happened. And while I should be angry with her for her recklessness, I can’t bring myself to feel anything but relief. In fact, I’m ashamed that I allowed things to go as far as they did with Lauren because deep down, I knew it wasn’t right.

Despite everything, I can’t stay mad at Kerri because, in my heart, I know that her actions came from a place of love and protection for me. She may have made mistakes, but her intentions were pure.

A sudden thought pierces my mind like a bolt of lightning, and I can’t believe it didn’t come to me sooner. “How did you even find out about my wedding? Did Taz tell you?” I ask. When shit goes bad, he’s usually involved, so it’s a safe assumption.

Kerri chews on her lower lip anxiously before releasing a long, slow breath. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to be upset,” she says hesitantly.

“Trust me, if I haven’t gotten upset yet, there’s no chance of it happening now,” I reply dryly.

“Paisley came to visit me,” Kerri reveals, her eyes darting nervously.

I can’t say I’m surprised. This whole situation reeks of my sister’s impulsive nature. She found her voice and her moxy around the same time.

Still, I didn’t realize Pais felt so strongly about me getting married. I could sense her disapproval of my relationship with Lauren, but I never imagined it would drive her to this extreme. It stings that she didn’t feel comfortable enough to confide in me about her concerns. Maybe deep down, she knew I wouldn’t listen anyway.

“Her voice is beautiful, Landry,” she says. “I cried when I heard it.”

My lips curl into a smile. Pais has been talking for a few years, so it’s not as new to me, but I remember when I first started hearing her voice, and it was the best gift I’ve ever received.

“It’s pretty awesome, right?” I say with a smile.

“It’s amazing,” Kerri gushes. “And she’s so grown up and beautiful. She has a boyfriend now. I couldn’t believe it.”

My mouth sets into a line. “I don’t love that part.”

Kerri giggles and rolls her eyes. “Promise me you won’t be angry with her,” she pleads again.

“I won’t be angry,” I reassure her with a tight smile. “But I might have to make her boyfriend run some extra drills during practice.”

Kerri playfully smacks my chest with the back of her hand. “You can’t do that! It’s not fair,” she scolds with a grin on her face.

We walk in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds coming from the rising tides crashing into the rocks on a nearby bluff. Finally, I break the moment.

“It took a lot of courage for you to come here,” I say.

Kerri’s eyes remain focused on the ground. “I tried to say it on the beach,” she starts, “but I couldn’t quite get the words out.” She stops walking and turns to face me, her hand reaching for mine. I gaze into her stunning blue eyes as she speaks.

“Landry, I owe you an apology,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “Not because I needed time to get my life settled and deal with the things that had happened to me. I don’t regret that decision. But I walked away from our friendship because it was difficult and uncomfortable. And that’s something I will always regret.”

“So, is that what you came here for? Friendship?”

Kerri’s gaze shifts nervously. The sunlight casts golden hues on her face, highlighting the subtle blush creeping across her cheeks. After a moment of contemplation, she speaks.

“You know what? I could sit here and try to save my pride and lie, saying that all I want is friendship. But I have no pride left after yesterday, so I might as well lay it all out on the line,” she confesses.

My heart stutters in my chest as she continues, “I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen years old. I filled up the last few years with distractions—school, friends, family—but never anyone else because it was always you.”

Her words hit me like a whirlwind, causing my head to spin. I run a hand through my hair, trying to process everything she’s saying.

“Why did you wait so long to tell me?”

She strolls, her eyes fixed on the water in front of us. “I was scared,” she admits, her shoulders hunched. “I kept telling myself that if I waited longer, it would be easier to explain. But then I got scared again, and the cycle continued. By the time I realized how much time had passed, I thought it was too late to reach out to you. I didn’t want to risk making things worse between us.”

“I never hated you, Kerri,” I say softly, recalling all the time I spent trying to understand her actions. “But I can’t deny that it crushed me when you pushed me away.”

She fidgets with her hands, twisting them nervously. “I’m here now,” she says, looking up at me with hopeful eyes. “I’ll be living with my grandparents. Is there any chance we could try again? I know I messed up, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make things right between us. I’m not above groveling.”

Her words hang heavy in the air as I mull over what she’s saying. Everything has been turned upside down in the last twenty-four hours. Just a day ago, I was engaged to someone else. It’s all happened so fast.

“I’d like us to be friends,” I say, trying to keep my feelings in check. “But I need to put some distance between my feelings for Lauren and my feelings for you.”

“So where does that leave us?” she questions, her voice filled with concern. “Do you need some space and time alone?”

I shake my head, meeting her gaze with a small smile. “We can still spend time together,” I assure her. “Especially now that I’m most likely out of a job.”

Kerri’s face falls as she covers it with her hands. “Oh my God, I forgot you worked for Lauren’s father,” she says in shock. “But maybe he’ll understand and won’t fire you. You’re great at what you do, and he’s a professional. He’ll see past this.”

I release a sigh and confess, “No, it’s already been taken care of. Lauren made sure to let me know when I said goodbye.” Despite the disappointment, I offer a reassuring smile. “But it’s okay. I liked the job, and the pay was good, but there are other things I’ve been wanting to do. Like spending more time helping Earl. And, of course, I’ll still be coaching the Mavericks.”

Kerri’s lips curl into a gentle smile at my admission. Her eyes shine with unwavering determination as she speaks. “You said something to me once that has stayed with me always. You said, ‘I’ll wait for you.’ And now, Christian Landry, I am telling you the same thing. I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes. As long as there is a chance for us, I will be here. If you tell me to walk away, I will respect your wishes. But if you don’t, I’ll wait.”