Page 15 of Your Love (Merrimack Mavericks Hockey #3)
Chapter 15
“Fix You”
Landry - Age 18, 1988
K erri’s frustration boils over, and she snaps, her voice sharp and bitter. “Damn it!” Her irritation isn’t directed at me, but its heat radiates off her. She’s seething as she plops down onto the chair next to me, grabbing her Dr. Pepper and taking a long sip.
“What’s going on with you tonight?” I asked tentatively, not wanting to provoke her further.
“Nothing.” She bites. The tightness in her jaw and the way she grips her drink like a lifeline tell me otherwise. Kerri has never been this guarded or uptight around me, at least since we’ve become close.
I throw my arm over her shoulder in a friendly gesture, but she recoils as if my touch burns her.
“Okay, seriously, what’s wrong?” I press.
Her response is sharp and defensive. “Nothing.”
I shake my head, not buying it for a second. “You’re acting tense and jumpy. And let’s be real, you never bowl this badly.”
She snorts at my attempt at lightening the mood.
My brow furrows. “I’m sorry. Have I done something to upset you?”
She exhales, and her shoulders sag. “No, Landry. It’s not your fault. Well, it is, in a way, but you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just on edge, like a cat on a hot tin roof.” The image of a sleek black cat darting across the shimmering surface flashes through my mind at her words. Her sayings certainly have a way of painting a picture.
“That sounds pretty intense,” I comment.
“Can we go somewhere more private to talk?” she requests, her voice tinged with urgency. “Somewhere quieter?”
“Of course. Let me take care of returning our shoes and settling the bill first.”
She finally relaxes slightly as we step out into the cool evening air a few minutes later.
“Where would you like to go?”
She falls silent for a moment, deep in thought. Then, her face lights up as she suggests, “Can we drive to the lake?”
My mind races with questions. Is she upset? Nervous? I try to read her body language, but her face remains stoic. I keep my face passive and my voice calm. “Sounds good.”
As we turn down the windy road to the lake, a wave of tension washes over me, mirroring Kerri’s energy. We follow the road until we find a secluded spot to pull over, the tires crunching over dirt and rocks. I carefully maneuver the truck, reversing until we’re perfectly aligned with the lake. The moon’s reflection danced on the surface of the water while a breeze sends ripples across its stillness.
“Do you still have blankets in the back?” Kerri asks.
I nod, watching as she reaches under the seats in the back and emerges with a few thick blankets. She jumps out into the chilly autumn night, so I follow. With practiced ease, she arranges the blankets in the bed of the truck, creating a cozy nest for us to sit and enjoy the night sky. At least, that’s what I hope we’re doing. Her evasiveness has me confused.
“Come on,” she says, patting the spot next to her.
I climb into the back of my truck, my heart racing with anticipation. Since the sun has long since set, it’s left behind a vast expanse of twinkling stars overhead.
Kerri doesn’t speak for several minutes, and neither do I. My usual reserved nature allows me to sit in peaceful silence next to Kerri as we gaze up at the endless night sky. The distant chirps of crickets blend with the sound of the water rippling against the shore.
Part of me wants to break the silence and start a conversation, but I resist the urge and wait for Kerri to speak first. I’m content just being near her, soaking in every moment spent together.
Finally, she breaks the silence in a whisper that carries through the still night air. “Isn’t this incredible?” Her voice is filled with awe as she gestures towards the sky above us. And then, without warning, she begins to open up. “You’ve become my best friend over these past eight months. It’s taken me by surprise, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all.” Her words are genuine, and her eyes search mine for understanding and acceptance.
I continue to stay silent, giving her the space she needs to gather her thoughts and emotions. When she doesn’t continue, I ask gently, “What do you want, Kerri?”
She responds to my question with a deep sigh, her eyes scanning the endless expanse of darkness above us. “I want everything,” she replies, her voice laden with longing. “I want our friendship to stay intact, but I also want to hold you and kiss you and experience all the emotions you bring out in me. But I’m afraid of ruining what we already have.” She hesitates before adding, “I think a lot about our kiss. Do you?”
A memory flashes through my mind—her lips inches from mine as she asked me to kiss her before she left months ago. I can’t help but let out a soft chuckle because that moment still plays on repeat in my mind. “Yes. I remember,” I respond, unable to keep the smile off my face.
“Do you know why I asked you?”
“I don’t. But I have a suspicion,” I reply.
“Which is?”
“That you wanted to gauge if what you feel with me is real,” I answer honestly, meeting her gaze.
She nods, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. “And I found out. In case you were wondering, it’s so real it’s scary,” she confesses with a nervous laugh.
“Agreed,” I say, my grin widening. I cup her cheeks in my hands and guide her gaze to meet mine. “Tell me, right now, at this moment, what is it that you want?” I urge.
For a fleeting moment, our eyes lock in a silent exchange before she speaks. Her voice is barely above a whisper. “I want you to call me Wildflower. I want to show you how you make me feel,” she adds, her eyes shining with emotion. “I want a connection that belongs solely to us—more than friendship, but keeping what we have as well.”
Her gaze meets mine, searching for the answer in my eyes. “I want to be your friend,” she says hesitantly, “but deep down, I want more than that. But I’m not sure if I’m ready for a real relationship.”
My heart races at the thought of being more than friends, but my head warns me of the potential complications. “Friends...with benefits?” I ask cautiously, already knowing the answer.
She drops her head into her hands, her fingers tangling in her hair as she sighs. “I’m being ridiculous,” she murmurs. “Asking for too much.”
“You’re not asking too much,” I reassure her firmly. “But I need to be honest with you. I can’t see myself dating anyone else, and I wouldn’t be okay with you dating anyone else, either. I can’t handle that kind of arrangement, especially not with you.”
“I understand,” she says. “I only want to be with you, too. I wish I had a guarantee it wouldn’t affect our friendship.”
“I wish I could give you a guarantee, but it doesn’t work like that.” I’m not telling her anything she doesn’t already know. “But sometimes,” I continue, “the possibility of something growing into everything you’ve ever wanted is worth the risk.”
“Are you scared of what could happen?” she asks.
“Sure,” I admit. “But I’m more scared of regretting what could have been.”
Kerri’s blue eyes light up as she takes in my words. “You’re right,” she says. “Some things are worth the risk.”
“Are you sure about this?” I ask. “You’ve been through so much, and I never want to pressure you into anything. We can take this as slowly as you want.”
Kerri’s eyes shine with unwavering trust. A small smile graces her lips as she speaks confidently. “I trust you completely. You make me feel things I thought I had given up on.”
Her words hit me like a wave crashing against the shore, overwhelming me with a surge of emotion. “I’m right here, Wildflower,” I assure her. “I’ve always been right here.”
Kerri’s lips are on mine in a fierce and desperate kiss. Her delicate hands grip my face, her touch sending shivers down my spine as she hungrily presses her soft lips against my own. My patience crumbles instantly as I part my lips, eager to taste every inch of her.
The scent of her perfume fills my senses, and my hands instinctively move to her hips, holding her steady as she throws herself into this moment with me. This is where we belong—lost in each other, consumed by something that knows no boundaries or promises.
She pulls away for a moment, her lips swollen and face flushed. Her breath comes out in short gasps as she gazes into my eyes, searching for confirmation of my desire.
“You’re all I think about,” I whisper before capturing her lips once again, feeling them part effortlessly for me. My tongue explores every corner of her mouth, tasting and savoring every bit of her. I break away momentarily and trail gentle kisses down her jawline and to the sensitive spot just below her ear, causing a soft moan to escape from her parted lips.
Kerri’s legs swing over mine, straddling me with a sense of urgency. Our bodies press together in tantalizing friction, her thighs pressing against my erection. I grip her hips tightly, pulling her closer to me as we move in unison.
Her head tilts back as I continue to kiss and nibble at her neck, feeling the rhythm of her body becoming more insistent against mine. I trail one hand from her waist up to her flushed cheek, cupping it as our lips meet again. She moans into my mouth, her hands roaming over my chest before settling around my neck. Her fingers tangle in my hair at the nape of my neck, urging me on as she meets every thrust of my tongue with fervor.
The taste of her mouth ignites a fire within me that I never knew existed. This moment has been building for so long, and I intend to savor every second of it. Soft moans escape from Kerri’s throat, fueling my desire even further.
I’m lost in a haze of lust and pleasure, something I’ve only dared dream about up to this point. I don’t know how long we’ve been locked together in this intense embrace, but when Kerri reaches for my belt buckle, I somehow find the strength to pull back. “As much as I want to know what’s about to happen next,” I manage to say through heavy breaths, “we should probably slow down.”
My words are met with a disappointed whimper from Kerri, but it’s for the best. We have all the time in the world for each other.
Kerri swings her leg over and climbs off me. She tucks into my side, her warmth seeping into my skin as we lay under the stars. I can see the desire in her eyes, but I also sense her understanding.
I reach out and gently grab her chin, turning her gaze to meet mine. “Hey, don’t be disappointed. I never want to stop being close to you. I could kiss you all night under these stars.” Her eyes shine with joy, and she smiles at my words.
“But…” I continue, hesitant. “I’m not prepared for this. I don’t have a condom, and my truck isn’t exactly the most romantic or secluded spot.”
“What if I promise to be really quiet?” she jokes, trying to ease the tension.
“You won’t be able to,” I respond, meeting her gaze with an intensity that assures her I’m serious about waiting until we have a more suitable place and time.
She swallows thickly and then playfully punches me in the side. “Now, see. You can’t say things like that after telling me no. It’s mean.”
I dip my head down to softly kiss her sweet lips. “I didn’t say no,” I murmur against her mouth. “I suggested better timing so that you can be as loud as you need to be.”
Her cheeks flame. “Who are you, and what have you done with the Landry I’ve come to know?” she teases with a giggle.
I lean back, my arms wrapped around her as she rests against my chest. “You were just hanging out with best friend Landry before, but trust me, Baby. Being with boyfriend Landry will be a completely different and unforgettable experience.”