Page 18 of Your Love (Merrimack Mavericks Hockey #3)
Chapter 18
“3 AM”
Kerri - Age 19, 1989
T he anticipation of visiting my family in Texas had been building for weeks, but as soon as my flight landed, a sense of unease settled into the pit of my stomach. I was excited to see my parents and hopefully connect with some friends, but beneath that excitement, a sense of fear lingered, unsure of what to expect after being away for so long and not knowing how I would react if I saw Beau.
I played it off with Landry, sensing his apprehension, but as soon as I exited the plane, I started looking for him around every corner. I realized, even at the time, that I was being ridiculous, but fear is a strange thing. It settles deep into your bones, lying dormant until circumstances arise that are beyond your control. Then, it awakens and consumes your thoughts and physical reactions.
Even though I knew Beau could not know my schedule or that I was coming home to Texas, I couldn’t help but be on high alert. For the first few days, I even avoided leaving the house because of it.
Instead, I cherished every moment with Mama and Daddy, sipping hot coffee on the creaky porch swing while wrapped in my soft, patchwork quilt. We watched the fiery sunrise paint the sky and caught up on all the latest news from our small town. Most days were spent lounging in the cozy living room armchair, flipping through pages of my favorite book, or chatting with Landry on the phone.
On rare occasions, I saddled up my chestnut horse and galloped to the nearby creek. And let’s not forget about Mama’s delicious home-cooked meals that never failed to fill me up. But soon enough, my friends started pestering me to get out of the house.
My first visit was to one of my favorite diners—a benign journey by all means, and yet my heart thudded in my chest, and my anxiety almost made me turn around at the door. I forced myself to remember that I was safe and Beau couldn’t hurt me. My friends assured me they hadn’t seen him in months, but I couldn’t help my body’s response to the thought that he could be creeping around the next corner.
To my relief, there was no unexpected run-in with my abusive ex-boyfriend, and slowly, I began to feel more comfortable in my old stomping grounds. My friends and I revisited our favorite hangouts, such as the cozy coffee shop on the corner and the boutique where we used to splurge on clothes.
But as my short time in Texas came to an end, I made a deliberate decision to spend my last night at home, which was also my birthday, with just my parents. We gathered around the kitchen table as the familiar scent of Mama’s fried chicken filled the air. And for dessert, she surprised me with a homemade apple pie, my absolute favorite.
We reminisced about old memories and created new ones, and a warm sense of contentment filled my heart. It was exactly the birthday I wanted. The only thing missing was Landry.
As I boarded the plane back to my new life, I knew that despite all the challenges I had faced in this town, it still held a special place in my heart. Yet, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I had left something unresolved. I hated the fact that I felt anxious and wary in a place I used to call home.
Moving to Merrimack had given me a false sense of security. Deep down, I knew I hadn’t truly confronted the ghosts of my past. Landry came into my life and showed me safety and love, and it wasn’t until I went home that I realized how much I had been avoiding and suppressing my fears.
It’s been a few months since that trip, and I know it’s something I will need to address before I go back this summer, but that’s a problem for later. Right now, I’m lying in my dorm room bed with my phone pressed against my ear, the sound of Landry’s voice providing a much-needed connection to him.
I glance at the clock on my desk and realize we’ve been talking for forty-five minutes already. I mentally calculate how much this call would add to my phone bill, knowing my parents will give me a lecture about it later. But at this moment, I don’t care. Talking to Landry is worth every penny.
We both have busy schedules—me with my part-time job and classes and him with hockey and his classes. We’re lucky if we have an hour to talk at night a few times per week. Maintaining a long-distance relationship isn’t easy, but it makes us appreciate each other more. Plus, it gives us the opportunity to cultivate our friendship in ways that wouldn’t happen if we were physically close.
But after months of being apart, I’m growing more impatient. I can’t wait for the day when we can finally be in the same town again. Until then, we’ll continue to make the best of our situation and keep working on our relationship, even from a distance.
“How are things going with the team?” I ask.
“It’s been good,” Landry replies, in that light way he does whenever he speaks about hockey. “We have this new kid, sixteen years old, and he’s got some serious talent. He could be a real star if he keeps working hard.”
“That’s young,” I comment, impressed.
“Yeah,” Landry agrees. “His whole family moved from Florida to support him. It’s a big commitment.”
“Well, he couldn’t have a better teammate,” I tell him, and I mean it with my whole heart. Landry is patient and knowledgeable, and he cares about these kids. It shows in everything he does.
“How did your statistics midterm go?” he asks.
I let out a sigh of relief, “I think it went pretty well. I’m glad it’s over. But you know what I’m even more thrilled about?”
“What’s that?” he asks.
“I see you in four days!” I can’t keep the excitement out of my voice.
“I can’t wait, either, Wildflower. I need some time with my girl.” My heart flutters at his words.
“Me, too. I’m lucky I was able to get off work.” I would’ve done anything to have time off. I need a break from everything. I need a few days at home to reset and soak up the farm and my friends—but mostly Landry.
“What time will you be home again?” He asks.
“I’m leaving after my class on Friday morning, so I should get home between two and three.”
“I’ll be here, waiting for you,” he says. His words spill out in a warm rush, wrapping around me like a cozy blanket on a chilly night. I can’t believe this man is mine.
“Maybe we can meet up with Ivy and Sascha? Sascha’s back in town for the week.”
“Absolutely,” he says, his voice laced with excitement. “Maybe they can come to my game on Saturday?” I feel a flutter in my stomach at the thought of cheering him on from the stands, wearing my Landry jersey proudly.
“How is Ivy?” I ask. They both still live in Merrimack, but I know they haven’t seen each other much since last summer, despite Landry’s attempts.
“Ivy seems to be doing better. She’s been working more and taking classes,” he replies.
“That’s good. I know she doesn’t have a big desire to date anyone yet.” I can’t say I blame her. I wasn’t in a place to date until I met Landry—and even then, I trod carefully for as long as I could.
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” he says. “And Delzy feels the same. All he does is play hockey and study,” Landry replies.
As I sit on the edge of the bed, my voice cracks with emotion. “It must be so hard for both of them,” I say. “I’m lucky to have you.”
“I’m the lucky one,” he replies softly. “And I’ll prove it to you soon.”
Yesterday, after a long drive, I arrived at my grandparents’ house in the afternoon. The familiar sight of the cozy couch and the scent of freshly baked cookies greeted me. Landry arrived a few hours later and ate dinner with us. Afterward, we curled up under a blanket and watched “Back to the Future.” We snuck kisses as often as we could. It was exactly the evening I’d been looking forward to.
Sascha and I are going to Landry’s game today, and after that, the plan is to meet up later with Ivy. She wasn’t thrilled at the idea of going to the ice center and watching the Mavericks play. I think it’s still too difficult for her, and I understand that. I’m just excited for all of us to get together.
Right on time, there’s a knock on my door. I eagerly run to answer it. To my surprise, Sascha stands on my front porch clutching a fluffy baby chick in her hands, her eyes sparkling with excitement and mischief.
“This is not what I expected when I opened the door.”
“I stopped by the chicken coop to see my buddy, Cocky, and this little guy had to come with me,” she explains.
I wrap my arms around her, careful not to squish the chicken between us. “I’ve missed you, Sash,” I say.
“I’ve missed you too, Ker-Bear,” she replies, using the nickname she gave me last summer that all our friends now use without question. After all, anything Sasha does is automatically cool.
Sascha comes inside to greet Nana and Papa with a warm hug. They catch up for a few minutes before she passes the chick off to Nana to return to the coop. She better hurry—I’m sure Eunice is a nervous wreck wondering why the crazy girl stole her baby.
Once we are in Sascha’s car on our way to the ice center, we make small talk about how things have been going.
“Have you talked to Taz lately?” I ask cautiously.
“Ew, why would I talk to him?” she replies defensively. But I know Sash, and behind her tough exterior, she misses him. She just isn’t ready to admit it yet, so I let it go.
Sash leans toward me, her black pixie hair framing her face as she looks my way with a smirk. “So, how’s it going with Landry?” she asks, wiggling her perfectly shaped eyebrows and making me laugh.
“Things are good,” I say, smiling at the thought of him. “Long distance sucks, but we’re making it work.”
Sash nods in understanding. “College is temporary,” she says, “but you guys have something special. He’s been head over heels for you since day one.”
A blush creeps up my cheeks at her words. “Really?” I ask, feeling a surge of happiness. “Did he tell you that?”
Sash grins and shrugs nonchalantly, “Maybe.”
I smirk and nudge Sash playfully. “I know you love teasing him.”
“I can’t deny it,” she admits. “He’s like a massive little brother to me.”
“Speaking of friends, how’s Ivy doing? I feel like I haven’t caught up with her in forever.”
A hint of sadness flashes across Sash’s face before she puts on a brave smile. “She’s hanging in there,” she says. “It’s been hard for her since Delzy left, but she knows it was the right decision.”
“Why are some of the most difficult decisions the right ones?” I lament.
“Word,” Sash says with a nod.
The next several hours are beautiful torture. As I watch Landry glide across the ice, my heart races and my palms grow clammy. His strong legs propel him effortlessly, never losing sight of the puck. When he blocks a shot with ease, a surge of desire floods my body. It hums with anticipation to spend time with him later tonight.
After the game, I spot Landry in a sea of post-showered, victorious players. I can’t contain my excitement and rush towards him, jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist. He grins as he catches me, and we share a quick kiss before pulling away. “That was amazing,” I tell him, beaming with pride.
Sascha makes a dramatic gagging noise. “Can you two not have coitus in front of me, please? My nightmare can’t handle it,” she jokes.
Landry sets me down and hugs Sascha. “It’s great to see you,” he says sincerely.
“You, too,” she replies with a smile. She glances at me and back at him. “I’m happy for you guys.”
“Thanks, Bell,” he replies, as his hand intertwines with mine. “So, are we still meeting Ivy?”
Sash shakes her head with disappointment. “No, she’s flaking on us again,” she says, frustration evident in her tone. “I called her during the break, and she said she’s stuck at work.”
“That sucks,” he comments sympathetically. “Well, I’m starving, so should we go without her?”
“Actually, I’m gonna swing by and visit her,” she says casually. “Why don’t you two go alone?”
I can feel Landry’s eyes on me, but I keep my gaze fixed on Sash. “Sure, if that’s what you want,” I say with a slight shrug.
“Yeah,” Sash says with a nod. “I’ll catch up with you guys tomorrow or something.”
We all exchange hugs, and Sascha strides out of the exit. Landry turns to me with a wicked gleam in his eye. “Looks like it’s just the two of us now.”