Page 9 of You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

Milan would have never done what Nasir did if their places were switched, moving to her like that, because it was just a fuck. He could find it anywhere else; of course he hadn’t cared when she broke it off. He was probably fucking someone else already. Feyi wasn’t special, even if she’d felt that way at first, when he’d been so close to her in the bathroom, losing control like he was starving for her. She couldn’t tell Joy this, because Joy would immediately point out how there was absolutely nothing to romanticize about what they’d done. In the light of day, it was just reckless and foolish. In the bloody glow of that bathroom, it had felt different, but Feyi knew Joy was right. Milan had done what felt good for his dick, and then there was Nasir, insisting he didn’t want to fuck her, as if he wanted her more than her body.

That was what Feyi wasn’t sure she was ready for. Maybe she didn’t have anything to give other than her body, not right now. Not when she kept dreaming of glass and tarmac and white lilies. She was glad Milan hadn’t gone looking for more. She was a little hurt he hadn’t gone looking for more. Could he sense the wounded expanse she held inside, was that what had kept him guarded? Was that what Nasir was hunting?

Feyi forced herself to stop wandering off, dragging her attention back to the table as Joy told her a story that seemed to be mostly about marital indiscretions and increasingly complicated sex toys. It was only later, after they’d parted ways and Feyi was back home on her couch, ignoring an incomplete grant application, that the thought popped up again—what if she was only interesting as an unknown, before you actually spent time around her? Had Milan been … underwhelmed? Would Nasir lose interest the minute she became real, not a mirage against a city skyline? Why did any of it matter?

Feyi put a cushion over her face and groaned into it. This was a spiral she didn’t need to fall into. It would probably be a good idea to see if she could move up her appointment with her therapist to earlier in the week. She lay there for a moment, just the soft darkness of the cushion against her eyes and the bubbling whir of her aquarium in the background, until her phone began to ring. Reaching out blindly with one hand, Feyi swiped at the screen and brought it to her ear.

“Hello?” she said, her voice muffled.

“Feyi? It’s Nasir.” His voice sounded just like it did on that roof, sleek and much too close for her comfort. Feyi sat up, throwing the cushion aside, her pulse racing.

“Um, who?” She was a whole-ass liar, she’d totally heard his name, but it didn’t make sense that he’d be calling her. Who had given him her number?

“Nasir. Milan’s friend? Joy gave me your number.”

When did that happen? Never mind.

“Oh, hey, Nasir! This is … a surprise.”

He laughed softly. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t text first, I figured I’d just try my luck with a call. Surprised you picked up a number you didn’t know.”

“Shit, so am I.”

There was an awkward pause before he cleared his throat and kept talking. “So, um, I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me.”

“Ah, so you heard about me and Milan.” The words slipped out, and Feyi winced at how blunt they sounded. She might as well have called him an opportunistic vulture.

Nasir made a small amused sound. “There’s that directness again,” he said. “And yes, I heard about you and Milan. I also heard you when you said there were other ways to deal with attraction; I figured asking you out to dinner was a better way than how I handled things.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong,” she replied, even as her mind sped through what he was saying. A date. He was asking her on a date. “Did you tell Milan you were doing this?”

“No, I didn’t.” Nasir’s voice was firm. “I don’t think you’re Milan’s property or that I need his permission to ask you out. And besides, it’s just dinner.”

“So … it’s not a date?”

“Oh, it very much is a date, Feyi, trust. I would just like to see how it goes first. If there needs to be a conversation between me and Milan, no offense, but that’s between me and Milan. You can tell him whatever, whenever you want.”

He sounded so clear, like he’d carved out a road to her, like he wouldn’t even entertain the possibility of drama. Feyi smiled, glad that he couldn’t see her face.

“So,” Nasir continued, “will you go to dinner with me?”

Ah, fuck it. “When?”

“You free tonight?”

Feyi laughed. “You don’t waste time, huh?”

Nasir’s voice stayed even. “I want to see you,” he said, and it was that, that simple sentence threaded with the hunger she now thought of when she thought of him, it hooked itself into Feyi.

“Okay,” she said. “I can do tonight. Around seven thirty.”

“Can I pick you up?”

“Sure,” she said, letting her smile seep into her voice. “I’ll text you the address.”

“Perfect,” Nasir replied, then, “I can’t wait.”

Feyi hung up, texted Nasir her address, then immediately called Joy on video.