Page 7 of You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

Feyi’s breath tangled in her lungs. The words were too close to Milan’s in that bathroom the first time, too intimate. They had too much weight, and Nasir was looking at her with greedy eyes. Suddenly, whatever was happening between them felt too fast and too dangerous, like she was right at the edge of a cliff with dark but hungry unknowns waiting for her to tip over. His mouth looked soft; his teeth sharp behind those full lips. Feyi felt it at the back of her neck—he was hunting her. That unwavering look by the bar, now finding her up here, tracking her under the city’s sky.

“Don’t do that,” she said, throwing up reflexive walls. “I don’t know you like that.”

Nasir stepped away immediately, slipping his hands into his pockets. “You’re right. I’m being … inappropriate.” He ducked his head and his mouth twisted. “I thought we were both feeling something, but—never mind. I sound like a dick. My bad.”

She hadn’t been expecting such quick contrition. He looked almost awkward, like his charm had been a front, and Feyi wasn’t sure what to say. “You’re very … obvious,” she managed.

Nasir smiled a little and shrugged. “Yeah, so I’ve been told.”

“But also, what’s the point?”

He looked up, surprised. “Excuse me?”

The words had slipped out unexpected, but Feyi kept going, wrapping the mild aggression around her like a shield. It felt better than all the uncertainty.

“Nah, for real. You’re here flirting with me, touching me like you want something, but what’s the point? You wanna hook up?”

Nasir looked aghast at how blunt she was being. It amused Feyi to see it. Men were never used to being called out on their bullshit.

“What’s the point, my nigga?” she pressed. “What’s your end goal?”

He laughed, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, suddenly awkward. “Aw fuck, you’re going in.”

Feyi shrugged. “You didn’t think first? You just went for it, thought, Hey, let me hit on the girl Milan’s here with? Don’t you niggas have a code or some shit? Or you thought Milan wouldn’t mind sharing?”

As soon as she said that, whatever little ease that was left in the air between them drained away completely.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Nasir said, his face sobering up.

Feyi wrapped her arms around herself, a heaviness crawling in, touched with real anger. “How else do you mean it when you try to fuck the girl your boy is fucking?” She shook her head and started walking past him. “I need to go find my friend.”

“Feyi.”

She ignored him as she pushed past, shoulder-checking him. Nasir grabbed her arm.

“Feyi!” He dropped his hand when she gave him a look that dragged white-hot from his grip on her to his face. “Just listen, please. It’s not like that.”

She did not care. She couldn’t even articulate how much she did not care. Maybe this was a thing with Milan and his boys, passing a girl around. Maybe they did threesomes, or trains. She just wanted to find Joy.

“It’s getting cold out here.”

“I felt something.” Nasir was standing close to her again, his eyes searing above his cheekbones. “I’m not trying to fuck you. From the second I saw you, I felt something. I don’t know what it was, what it is, but it’s not how you’re making it sound. Like, I love Milan, that’s my boy! Swear to God, I’m not trying to play him.”

Feyi frowned. He was babbling, his eyebrows pulled together, his voice urgent, and it was making her curious. He seemed to care so much about how she saw him, so she let him continue, her arms still crossed over her body.

“All I know is I saw you and—Look, just now, I only asked that because I didn’t want to stop touching you. I didn’t want you to stop touching me. I just—” Nasir dragged a hand over his face and exhaled. “Fuck, I sound unhinged. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Feyi stared up at him. God, he was fine, even if a little unhinged. She wanted him closer. She wanted him far, far away. For a moment, she considered taking his hand and leading him into the bathroom, finding out if he fucked as desperately as he talked. Maybe that could become her signature—an apparition who flitted about the city, pulled men into small rooms, and had her way with them. Small fractions of time, not enough for her to become real in. It could become addictive; it felt so good to be on the receiving end of these men’s hungers. It felt like power. Feyi wanted Nasir to put his long hands to her face and kiss her like their friends weren’t there, kiss her precisely because she was with his homeboy, burn up their friendship because he wanted her that much. After years of numbness, that was something that could turn her on. Feyi liked the proofs of want, like Milan making reckless choices in that bathroom, like this man making a fool of himself right now.

Except, he just said he wasn’t trying to fuck her, even if that was a virtuous lie. All this was just desire, blind and stupid, and it had nothing to do with who she was, so it wasn’t even personal, no matter how deep he was trying to make it sound. They’d just met. He didn’t know her; he’d just seen someone pretty with turquoise cornrows and a plum mouth, a body leashed in black sequins, so of course he wanted to touch her and be touched. Of course he wanted to fuck her, no matter what he said. If anything, Feyi was irritated that he was acting so heartfelt. What she had with Milan was sure and simple, honest from the start, not with all these masks Nasir was placing on top of his lust.

“You’re just describing attraction,” she told him, her voice cutting. “It’s not that deep, plus there are a thousand ways to handle it better than how you did.” She looked around and spotted Joy holding two drinks and trying to wriggle through the dance floor. “I gotta go.” If she didn’t know better, she’d say he looked distraught—his brow still furrowed, his eyes worried. She relented slightly, enough to give him a small smile, a throwaway parting gift. “It was nice to meet you, Nasir.”

He hesitated before leaning in and kissed her cheek, quick and light, a daring butterfly of a goodbye. “Pleasure,” he murmured, his eyes dragging over her one last time before he turned away.

Feyi watched him leave, the touch of his lips fading on her skin as the bass thumped around her.

Chapter Three