Page 14 of You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty
“Mind your business, my friend.” Feyi winked at Joy as she took the drink, and Joy laughed, her voice blackberry rich, then turned her attention back to the stage.
“That body!” Joy said, gazing up at Moses. “How do we get backstage? I would like to get … acquainted.”
Nasir chuckled. “Ask Tolu, he’s the one who got us the tickets. I think he went to school with Moses.”
Joy rolled her eyes. “And break his heart?” Tolu was standing behind her, bright and hopeful in his crush, smoothing down his blazer. “He still thinks this night is gonna end well for him.”
Nasir shook his head. “Whew, you’re cold.”
Feyi listened to their banter, noting how comfortable she felt in the circle of his arms. Her body fit against his as if they were something—a unit, lovers safe in a harbor. All four of them had gone to dinner before the concert, at a vegan spot on Fifth Avenue, and Nasir had passed Feyi plates of tofu kebabs and seaweed salad, his thigh and shoulder pressed against hers. It hadn’t felt like she was being crowded, more like he was reassuring her with solid touches, saying he was there, he was real, he meant what he said about being friends, look at the easy comfort, how smooth things could be. It was a story Feyi could fall into, a thick blanket wrapped like an exhale around her. Moses finished a song, and the crowd exploded into applause. He sketched a bow on the stage, skin gleaming under the lights, and Feyi lifted her head to speak to Nasir over the noise, as she handed him her drink.
“Hey, I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.”
“Ooh, same!” Joy threw back the rest of her drink, then gave her empty cup to Tolu, grabbing Feyi’s hand. “Try not to make out, boys, we’ll be right back.”
They pushed through the crowd as Moses began his next song in Hebrew, the sound waxing ethereal through the air, turning the venue into a cathedral, staining the air with something holy. The crowd settled into a transfixed stillness as Feyi and Joy joined the line for the bathroom.
Feyi took a deep breath, loosening her shoulders and rolling her neck around. “I love this song,” she said. “It feels so peaceful, you know?”
“Mm-hmm.” Joy leaned against the wall. “You and Nasir look cute together.”
Feyi pushed her braids out of her face and smiled. “Yeah … he’s nice.”
“Girl, here you go with that nice shit again.”
“You know what I mean. It just—it feels weird to be doing things like this.”
“What, going on an actual date?”
“Yeah. I feel … I feel a little guilty, I guess?” Feyi looked down at her leather mules, but Joy reached out and tilted her head up.
“Hey, don’t even go there. Jonah would want you to be happy, you know that. It’s been five years, boo. You gotta move out of mourning at some point.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Besides, you not even fucking this nigga.”
Feyi threw her hands up. “I know, but that’s what feels so fucked up! We out here going on dates and building a friendship —”
Joy snorted. “I see his mouth all up on your neck, that ain’t no damn friendship.”
“Right, whatever, my point is—it feels like it’s leading up to a foundation for something … something real. And I’m not ready for that. I don’t want that shit.”
“Oh my God, Feyi, it’s been one dinner and a concert.” Joy rolled her eyes. “No one’s proposing to you. Chill.”
“Ugh.” Feyi pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’re right. I’m jumping way ahead. I should be in the moment.”
“Yes, bitch! And might I say, it is a sexy-ass moment—how much longer are y’all gonna play this cuddling abstinent game? Nasir looks like he loves to give head, I’m just saying.”
Feyi snorted out a laugh. “I know, right? Like he’d just stay down there for hours.”
“Pass that nigga a snorkel.”
The girls laughed together as the line shrank and they stepped into the bathroom, waiting for the next stall door to open.
“Nah, it just feels weird, though,” Feyi said. “Like, it was easy with Milan. I already cried in front of Nasir, shit feels too …” She waved her hands about vaguely.
“Too open,” Joy filled in. “I feel you.”