Page 58 of You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

Joy ran a hand over her face, dragging down the skin. “Are you okay, though? Like, this is a lot, babe. How are you going to tell Nasir? What are you going to tell Nasir?”

“I have no fucking idea.”

The two girls stared at each other through their screens for a moment, then Joy leaned in. “You know you can always just come home, right? Like fuck it, hop on a flight and be here in a few hours. Let them figure their shit out without you in the middle of it. I don’t think that Pooja woman would mind if you rescheduled the commission, not if she’s willing to drop that much money on it.” Her eyes were filled with worry. “You can just come back, Feyi. If Alim is serious, he’ll come after you. You don’t have to stay there and stick around for the fallout.”

It was tempting, and Joy was right. Feyi could bail and be back in the brownstone the same day, even. She didn’t have to stay for Nasir or for Alim; she didn’t have to stay at all. It seemed too easy when Joy put it like that, to tap out and return to the world she knew. But still, like Joy said, it had also been only twenty-four hours.

“Let me sleep on it,” she said. “At the very least, I know my feelings for Alim are real, you know?”

Joy frowned. “Can you say the same about his feelings for you?”

Feyi hadn’t even considered that. “You think he’s lying?”

“I’m not saying that. I’m just—” Joy sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Feyi. This is the first real thing since Jonah, and it seems to be coming with a lot of stakes. Like a lot of really high stakes. Shit, I just—I wanted something less complicated for you.”

“I mean, weren’t you the one telling me to take a chance on something new, something real?”

“Bitch, I also very clearly told you not to get with Nasir’s dad from day one, don’t even play with me right now.”

“Come on. It’s Alim Blake, though.” Feyi grinned at her best friend.

Joy cut her eyes at Feyi. “I can’t with you.”

“The Alim Blake.”

“What, you want a cookie for bagging a two-Michelin-star nigga?”

“Actually, yeah. I would like a fucking cookie. What were the fucking odds?”

Joy glared for a few seconds, then gave up, dissolving into laughter. “Bitch, you messy as fuck, and I can’t believe I’m actually here for it. Nigga rich, he got a mansion, he famous, and he ’bout to blow up his whole family for some pussy he ain’t even eaten yet? Sheeeit.” She reached for a lighter and lit up the joint she’d been rolling while they talked. “I love you, but pass me the motherfucking popcorn, ’cause this is about to be a shitshow.”

Feyi groaned. “Tell me about it.”

Joy blew out a cloud of smoke and regarded Feyi through it. “Maybe that’s why you wanna stay,” she suggested.

“Because it’s going to be a shitshow?”

“Yeah. What’s that shit Jonah used to say about people and their messiness? And your thing of wanting to remember you’re alive? What’s more alive than this?”

Feyi paused for a moment. “Remember when we did the Grace Jones memoir for book club?”

“Of course. That shit was life-changing.”

“It’s more like that. Like when you look back over a whole life, you realize the things you panicked about before stop mattering in, like, thirty years. I think that’s why I’m nervous about this, but at the same time, I think it might all work out okay in the end. I didn’t think I would survive losing Jonah, not ever, but here we are, and yeah, I guess messy and alive is a good way to put it.” She shook her head and smiled, even though it didn’t feel funny. “None of this shit really matters, you know?”

Joy sighed. “Damn, when you get all existential like that, it really doesn’t. You might as well fuck a rich nigga and piss off his kids.”

Feyi exploded into laughter, and Joy joined in, and for a few minutes, everything really felt like it always had, like they’d be good as long as they had each other.

• • •

By the time Alim got back, Feyi had just gotten out of the pool and showered. She was sitting at the edge of her bed with her door open, clipping her toenails when he knocked and stuck his head in.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Feyi looked up at him and smiled. “I’d love to. As long as it’s not up the mountain to watch a sunset or some shit.”

Alim laughed, and the evening light glinted off his teeth. “It’s not far. I have something to show you.” He reached his hand out to her like he had the night of the party, in the corridor, and this time Feyi took it because she could, because he didn’t pull it back, because there was no one there to see or stop them.