Page 56 of You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty
He covered her hand with his, turning immediately serious. “I was only joking, Feyi. I want us to take our time, to believe that we have time to take.” Alim leaned down to press his forehead against hers. “Sweetness, you have me for as long as you want, however much or little you want. I’m not going anywhere.”
Feyi forced back a hiccuping sob. “We’re not supposed to be making plans with each other.”
“It’s not a plan. It’s a promise.” He pulled her to his chest, and Feyi slid her arms around him. “You will learn this about me with time, but I keep all my promises. So you don’t have to believe me now, but I will be here. With you.”
“How can you say that?” she said, her voice muffled against him.
“Well, first of all.” Alim dropped a kiss on her braids. “You fill me with light till I feel like I’m about to splinter apart from it, so there’s that. It’s a feeling I’d like to keep around.”
“Convenient. What was second?” His palms were splayed across her back and Feyi felt him rest his chin lightly on her head.
“Come on, you haven’t figured it out by now?” he teased.
She tried to tilt her face up. “What?”
Alim pulled back a little so he could see her better. “You’re my friend,” he said, as if it was obvious, and as Feyi looked into his eyes, she was horrified to find that not only did she believe him but it also felt so much more true than the number of times Nasir had said it to her, because while he was trying to be friends with the hot girl he’d met at the bar, Alim had slid all the way into her chest and found someone she’d been storing for years, someone she thought she’d never see again after the road with all that glass.
You are recovering from disaster, she thought, but it came in Jonah’s voice, and Feyi got mad all over again at the thought of how pleased he would be to see her being this self with someone else, specifically someone this gentle, someone who could see her in all her crushed and dazzling pieces. It made her tear up, and Feyi ducked her head to wipe at her eyes.
“You’re annoying,” she complained, and she didn’t even know if she was talking to the man in front of her or the one who’d left her too early. Feyi leaned her body into Alim’s as they stood in the morning light, a whole new day rolling out before them.
“Yes.” He laughed and kissed her head again. “I know.”
Chapter Sixteen
Feyi watched Alim whisk eggs and pull out some cheese—Boursin pepper, he’d said—as he put together an omelet. He’d made her a blood orange, grapefruit, and basil juice, which she was cradling in her hands, the deep red lapping against the sides of her glass. The memory of him dancing with Rebecca the other night floated back to the surface of her mind, and Feyi spoke without thinking.
“Did you ever fuck Rebecca?”
Alim stopped, staring at her in surprise. “What?”
Feyi shrugged. “It’s a simple question.”
She didn’t think it was an unreasonable ask—Nasir had said Rebecca had a crush on his dad and the two of them had been basically dry-humping in front of everyone at the party.
Alim put down his whisk and leaned his hip against the counter. There was a sliver of amusement in his expression. “Would it matter if I had?”
Something sour boiled up in Feyi’s chest. So he had fucked her. “You’re grinding up on her one night, kissing me the next, then asking me if it matters?” The sourness was pushing at the back of her throat. How could he be flippant about this? Had he slept with Rebecca after the party, in that bed of his? Were those the same sheets she’d slept in?
Feyi stood up. “I need a minute.”
Alim came around the counter, wiping his hands on his apron. “Feyi. Sweetness. I’ve never done anything with Rebecca. I would have told you.”
Feyi stared at him, the sourness muddling into uncertainty. “Then why didn’t you just answer the question?”
“I was being silly.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “Rebecca only sleeps with women, you know. She insists on being called a lesbian, not queer or anything else. Lorraine tells me that’s old-school, but what do I know?”
Feyi’s mouth fell open. “But Nasir said she has a crush on you!”
Alim rolled his eyes. “Nasir has a hard time processing platonic affection. If anything, Feyi, you were the one she wanted that night. Not me.”
“But the way you were dancing …” Feyi felt like she was scrambling to keep up.
“It’s kompa,” Alim said, as if that explained everything. “It’s nice to dance it with someone who you’re safe with. When it can just be dancing.”
“Oh.” Feyi winced. Yikes. “I might have overreacted. I’m sorry.”
“Ah, I am learning not to tease you.” Alim tipped his head forward and rested his forehead against hers. “That feeling you just had, I know it well. It happened with Devon and me more times than I cared for. I don’t want you to feel like that if I can help it.”