Page 8

“No,” I answer immediately, bringing my hand to my chest and shaking my head. “No. Not at all. I would never want to do anything to hurt you, Ledger. I just thought, you know, your lawyers and everyone that?—”

“No lawyers.” He shakes his head as he pops a fry into his mouth. “Nobody needs to know I’m doing this for you. As far as I’m concerned this is just something between me and you. What I do with my sperm and what you do with my sperm is nobody else’s business.”

“Okay.” I take a sip from my water bottle. “We haven’t talked about payment yet. Why don’t we talk about that next?”

His brows arch. “Payment?” He stares at me momentarily before he finally realizes what I’m saying. “Marlee Remington,” he scoffs, “surely you don’t think you’re going to pay me for my sperm.”

Shouldn’t I be offering to pay him?

It’s the right thing to do.

I can’t expect something for nothing.

“I…”

He wipes a hand over his face, smiling but shaking his head in disbelief at the same time.

“Marlee, you’re not paying me a fucking dime for this.

” He hitches his thumb over his shoulder.

“I mean I’d take you back to my place and fill you with kids right now if you said the word. Why would this be any different?”

Holy hell.

That’s an offer that is seriously hard to refuse.

The way he just said he’d fill me with kids right now has me blushing fifty shades of red.

“But—”

His face grows serious but I can tell he’s not angry. “Mention trying to pay me one more time and I take my sack of kids and walk away.”

“I’m sorry, Ledger. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just didn’t want you to feel like I’m using you.”

“You are using me.” He shakes his head. “And I’m not upset about it in the least.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” he says. “And I haven’t thought that even once, Marlee. Trust me, if I didn’t feel comfortable with this arrangement, I wouldn’t have said yes.”

His jaw ticks as I watch him across the table. I hate that I might have upset him. Ledger’s too nice of a guy to put through any kind of discomfort.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I just want to do this for you. That’s all. Can’t a nice guy do something for someone he cares about Don’t nice people do nice things for others?”

I shrug my shoulder. “Cut their grass. Make them brownies. Give them sperm. It’s all relative, right?”

He laughs and finally some tension drips away. “Exactly. Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe.”

I take a long sip of my water as I try to redirect our conversation.

“Do you think you’ll tell the guys?”

He inhales, a slight smirk on his face. “Probably not right away. And definitely not until you’re comfortable with my doing so. But also, if you decide you don’t want me to be involved at all, I’ll never say a word to them about it.”

I tilt my head, a pang of guilt hitting my heart once again.

“Ledger, I don’t want this to become some big secret that you’re forced to hold onto.

I trust you one hundred percent so if you want to tell the guys or even one of the guys or someone else just so you have someone to talk to about all this, I’d completely understand.

And if you want to be involved, I…I mean, that would be okay with me.

We would just need to talk about what that would look like for us. ”

He leans forward and covers my hands with his.

His grasp is protective but tender. “It’s sweet of you to worry about me, Marlee, but I promise you I’ll be fine.

This is about you,” he counters. “I’m here for you .

I want this to go smoothly for you . I want to do everything I can to get you what you want.

You deserve to be a mother if that’s what you wish, and I have no doubt you’ll be a great one.

” He squeezes my hands before letting go, leaning back and grabbing his bottle of water looking more relaxed.

“So, tell me how this is going to go down. When do we start? What can I do?”

Okay. I guess we’re ready to go there.

“Well, umm, I’ll start taking ovulation tests in a few days.”

“And what are those?”

“Ovulation tests?”

He takes a bite of his last hotdog and swallows it down. “Yeah.”

“Oh, they’re like pregnancy tests but instead of telling you if you’re pregnant or not, they tell us when we’re the most fertile during our cycle so we have the best chance at conception.”

“Alright.” He nods. “And then?”

“And then I tell you it’s time and then we’ll have a short window of a few hours to get the job done before the egg is no longer fertile so we’ll need to be quick and thorough.”

“How many hours exactly?”

I shrug. “Hard to say. Usually anywhere from twelve to twenty-four. So, I’ll text you and then you’ll come over to my place and umm…” I clear my throat, shifting on the bench.

“Jack off into a cup?”

“Yeah.” I nod. “And then I basically use this little turkey baster type thing and insert it inside me and shoot your tiny swimmers up in there and the race is on. And then we wait.”

“How long do we wait? When do we know?”

“Could be a few weeks. If I get my period, we’ll know it didn’t work but if my period doesn’t come, I could take a test and see if it comes up positive. Technically, I could test before my period comes, but we’ll see how it goes.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

I shrug. “We try again, I guess.”

He seems to take a few long seconds to embrace the process as I’ve described and then finally, he glances at me and smiles. “Well alright then. Let’s do this.”

“So, you’re still in?” I ask one last time just to be certain and to give him every opportunity to back out if he wants to. “This is your last chance to back out so speak now or forever hold your peace.” I offer him my hand as if we’re sealing the biggest sales deal of our lives.

“I am one hundred percent in.” He grasps my hand with his, the heat of his body emanating through his palm as he stares into my eyes and says, “You’re mine Marlee Remington. I promise you I will put a baby inside you if it’s the last thing I do.”

Hooooly hell.

I think I like the sound of that.