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CHAPTER FOUR

MARLEE

“ H oly fucking shit.” The words fall out of my mouth as my jaw hangs open. I stare at the words on my phone screen. Ignoring any feeling of awkwardness or discomfort, I read his words over and over again in complete disbelief.

Ledger

Whatever you need, I’m in.

Is he…

Did he really say that?

Did he really mean…

Does he even know what he just said?

My phone dings as another text pops up in front of me.

Ledger

Marlee? You there?

Fuck.

How long was I staring at my phone?

I could’ve sworn time stopped.

At least it felt like it did.

Me

Yeah. I’m here. Sorry I’m…umm…well, did you mean to answer that way? Or maybe you were talking to someone else?

Ledger

There’s only you, Mar. I said I’m in. I mean, you know, if you want me to be in.

Do I want him to be in?

I nearly snort out loud at his concern. As if I sit here at night coming up with ridiculous limericks about orgasm donation just to amuse myself.

Me

Of course. Yes. Wow. I’m just…I’m speechless. I mean, I’m so fucking grateful but also speechless.

Ledger

So, how does this work exactly?

Me

Making a baby? Did your mom never tell you about how that happens?

Ledger

Oh, are you teasing me now? Maybe me and my overachieving orgasm will just stay home.

“Oh no, we don’t want that,” I mumble as I write back.

Me

Overachieving huh? I hope you’ve given the millions of kids you carry in those tiny sacks some good swimming lessons because it’ll be one hell of an amazing race to see which one succeeds.

Ledger

Who says my sacks are tiny? Did Griffin tell you that?

Me

LOL. No. I’m just teasing. I’m sure your sacks are…adequate. Anyway, to answer your question, I’m considering giving home insemination a try.

Ledger

Is that what you’re calling a good old-fashioned fucking these days? You’re wanting to do this the old-fashioned way? You know you could’ve just asked to sleep with me a long time ago and saved yourself the trouble of coming up with a cheeky limerick. Though your efforts do not go unnoticed.

Speaking of cheeky, mine heat at the mere thought of bringing Ledger Dayne into my home and letting him have his way with me.

That’s not at all something I ever came close to considering but now that the idea has invaded my brain, I can’t imagine it will leave any time soon.

I’m aware the guys on the team can be a little flirtatious and pretty much all of them have a healthy sex drive from what I hear when we’re on the road.

And it’s not like they’re not some of the most attractive men I’ve seen, but I work for the Anaheim Stars.

I would never dream of jeopardizing my job by getting involved with one of the players.

Not that it’s forbidden, because it’s not something that’s stated in anyone’s contract.

Adults are adults and they can do what they want as long as the organization’s name isn’t smeared, but for my own sake, I just can’t see mixing romantic feelings or strong emotions with my job.

Especially given how close I sometimes have to work with the players on the team.

If I were to get involved with one of them and it didn’t go well, what would I do then?

My job would instantly become uncomfortable. For all of us.

No, as deliciously enticing the idea might be, there doesn’t need to be sex with Ledger Dayne for him to donate his sperm.

This doesn’t have to be sexual if we don’t make it sexual.

This is about me becoming a single mom because I want to have a baby.

It’s not about scoring a romp in the sheets with a hot hockey player, no matter how skilled he may be.

Me

Uh…no. There doesn’t need to be any sex between parties. A sperm donation will suffice.

Ledger

Got it. So, this is kind of like a drug test then. But instead of pissing in a cup, I’ll have to jizz in one? Or do I have to like, have some sort of procedure where they extract it?

“Oh my god!” I laugh and then cover my mouth with my hand, shaking my head at how absolutely clueless he is. Also, his naivety is kind of refreshing and cute.

Me

Actually, yeah they do extract it. Have you ever seen a cow be milked?

Ledger

Wait…really? Someone at a clinic somewhere is going to milk my dick?

Do I have to be awake for this procedure or can they knock me out?

I’m not sure I want to be awake for that.

Wait…is it a person? Like some hot nurse does it?

Or does my dick get hooked up to a machine?

Fuck, maybe I should’ve researched this before saying yes.

I’m not sure what kind of pain tolerance my dick has but on the other hand, if it… you know…

Me

If it what, Ledge?

Ledger

If it feels…you know…not bad.

Me

You mean if it feels good? Are you asking if the extraction feels good?

Ledger

I mean…well, I know you wouldn’t know from like, experience, but does it? Feel good?

Ledger

The only videos I can find on sperm extraction involve male infertility or blockages. But just so you know, I mean, for your records or whatever, I don’t have any blockages. I’m like a surplus warehouse over here.

Me

LOL. Good because I’m just teasing you. They don’t hook your dick up to a machine.

And yes, you’ll jizz in a cup. Actually, I’m considering giving this a try in my home rather than in a clinic.

I can buy insemination kits online if that’s okay with you.

Keeps your anonymity and all if we keep this out of someone’s medical office, and if it works, it’s cheaper than a clinic doing all the procedures since insurance doesn’t cover fertility treatments. Maybe we can start there?

Ledger

Whatever you need. But if a clinic would make you feel better, don’t let the cost scare you away. I can help with that too.

Me

That’s very sweet of you, Ledger, but I don’t need your hard-earned money. I think we should definitely talk about all this. Maybe we could meet in the next couple days to talk a few things over first? Then make sure you’re still in after that?

Ledger

I’m not going to go back on my word, Marlee. If you want to have a baby, I’ll give you one. I’ll do whatever it takes.

Something in my chest swirls and my cheeks heat as I read his words.

I’ll do whatever it takes.

The Ledger Dayne I know as a professional hockey player is a man who works hard to hone his craft.

He never settles for mediocrity and he’s always pushing his teammates to be the best they can be on the ice.

He’s an encourager. I’ve always liked that about him.

He’d make a great coach. I know he helps Harrison Meers with his youth summer league and though I don’t go down to the ice to watch very often, I imagine he’s pretty damn good with those kids.

It makes me feel good to know somehow or another, in this messy process of wanting to become a mom, someone has my back. And it feels extra special that that someone is Ledger Dayne.

Me

Lunch tomorrow? I’ll be at the arena in the morning and then I’m free the rest of the day.

Ledger

I’ll be there. Just let me know where and when.

Me

How about Palm Park? Picnic lunch, maybe? It’s supposed to be beautiful tomorrow. It’s a small park so it’s never very busy. Just an occasional dog walker here and there so we should be able to talk without being spotted or overheard.

Ledger

Sounds good. How about I grab lunch from Harold’s? Let me know what you like and I’ll pick it up on the way over.

Me

Deal. I’ll bring dessert.

Ledger

Perfect. See you then. G’night Marlee.

Me

G’night Ledger.

I’m a nervous wreck when I watch Ledger pull into a parking spot just a few yards from where I’m seated at a picnic table.

When he steps out of his car he’s dressed in a pair of gray shorts and a solid black t-shirt that forms to his upper body.

I know I see the guys on the team in all sorts of dress and even undress but when I see them more often than not in their hockey uniforms or jerseys, it’s hard to wrap my head around seeing them any other way.

Or maybe I’ve just had one too many thoughts of what it might be like to sleep with Ledger Dayne since last night’s text exchange.

Either way, he’s athletic perfection with muscles and ridges in all the right places.

Also, he has the face of a man who would bend over backwards to make sure you’re comfortable but probably whispers things like ‘good fucking girl’ when you’re deep throating him in the middle of the night.

Whoa.

Where did that come from?

Ledger shifts his hand through his brown hair that appears just a little wet at the ends.

He must have showered after Pucks & Blades practice this morning.

The thought of him wanting to be clean and good looking for our lunch brings a smile to my face.

I bet he smells good too. All the guys smell good.

It’s a libido scented paradise when I’m anywhere close to the locker room after a game with all the cologne they wear.

I watch as Ledger leans over and grabs the box from Harold’s with our lunch inside and our two bottles of water and then closes the car door with his foot.

When he finally makes eye contact with me, his coy smile mixed with the confident way he holds himself makes something flutter around inside my stomach.

It’s fine.

I’m fine.

Everything is fine.

I’m just about to have lunch with the future father of my child.

Nothing to see here.

“Hey Marlee.” His voice is soft as he says my name, his eyes never leaving mine.

Hmm. I could have sworn his eyes were brown, but today they appear to be green. At least, in the sunlight.

“Hi Ledger.” I smile up at him from where I’m seated.

In this situation, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to stand up and hug him or just stay in my seat.

I mean, we’re just two friendly colleagues having lunch together, but also, in the coming days or weeks he will hopefully be handing me a sealed container with the fruits of his loins.