Page 7

One of those little swimmers is bound to be of Olympic champion status.

The odds are good at least.

“Lunch is served,” he says as he opens the to-go box and places our hotdog containers next to the plate of cookies I brought.

My mouth instantly starts to water. “Oh, my God, these seriously look delicious. Thank you for doing this.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he says before taking a seat on the opposite side of the table and sliding the dogs I ordered over to me.

Also, I was right.

He does smell good.

We sit in silence for a few moments, opening our hot dogs and taking our first couple bites and then I finally say what’s on my mind.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know the best way to go about this.”

He gives me an empathetic smile. “I guess I’m not much help there either.”

“I really am blown away that you even said yes in the first place, Ledger. This isn’t something I’m taking lightly. I guess…” I take a deep breath and then force myself to make direct eye contact. “I just want you to know that.”

“I appreciate that,” he says, nodding. “And I guess I should tell you that I’ve never done anything like this before and wouldn’t offer to do this for just anyone. But you asked…and…”

“And?”

His cheeks redden and I find myself trying not to smile.

“Well, I have something you need, so why wouldn’t I give it to you?”

I set down my hotdog, chewing and swallowing the bite in my mouth before I arch my brows and say, “Because what you’re offering me is life changing. For me and for you.” I wipe my mouth with my napkin. “So maybe that’s where we start. Let’s talk about how involved you might want to be.”

“Okay.” He swallows the last bite of his first hotdog and dabs at his mouth with his napkin too. “I can be as involved or as uninvolved as you want me to be.”

“Do you want to be a father? Is that in your plan for someday?”

Ledger’s mossy eyes stare back at me as if I’ve caught him off guard. “Uh…I mean, I’ve thought about it.” He shrugs. “I’m not sure how good I’d be at it.”

I huff out a soft laugh. “I’m positive that isn’t true. I happen to know from many sources that you’re amazing with the kids who come to Pucks & Blades.”

He smiles, the tension melting from his shoulders. “Those kids are fun little ass kickers.”

“Do you have experience with babies?”

He cringes. “Not as much as I probably should if I were going to be a good father someday.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t sweat it. Most new parents don’t have much experience and they somehow handle it just fine.

I think it’s part of the whole parenting rite of passage, you know?

Neither parent knows what the hell they’re doing.

They’re just trying to keep their kids alive in between feeding and changing. ”

He chuckles, lightening the mood. “You’re probably right.”

“Are you close with your parents?”

“Very close actually,” he says, nodding. “I speak to them every couple of days. Or I try to, at least. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them so yeah, we’re close.”

“Any major medical history we should discuss that could cause potential issues?”

Ledger raps the pads of his fingers lightly on the picnic table in front of him. “Uh, that’s where things get a little sticky.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t really remember my birth parents much.”

I cock my head, my brows pinched. “Your birth parents? Are you adopted?”

He nods. “Yeah. And before that I was tossed around the foster system.”

No shit!

How have I never known this?

“Oh. I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

He shrugs a shoulder as he grabs a few fries from the box. “It’s not something I really talk about a lot. My past, I mean. I love my family. They’re the only real family I know. It’s been that way since I was thirteen.”

“Wow. Do you want to tell me about it?” I ask softly. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t.”

The corner of his mouth lifts and his chest moves slightly. “Ripping off the Band-aid right away, huh, Marlee?”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up any?—”

“Nah, it’s okay. In reality, all I know about my parents is what others have told me, which was that my father killed my mother when I was maybe four years old.

Once I learned that I never wanted to know another damn thing about him so I pushed the knowledge down deep inside me and moved on with life.

I was a foster kid for about eight years before Nick and Rebecca got me.

I was going into the eighth grade then and I was definitely a problem child. ”

His father killed his mother.

How horribly tragic

“How so?”

“Picked fights all the time. I refused to listen to my teachers. In reality I was just angry. Some foster families weren’t meant to be foster families and when you get stuck with those types, life is hard, but it’s all I knew.

I was the typical bullied kid and eventually I just became the kid who chose violence instead of using my brain.

” A gentle smile plays across Ledger’s face as he talks.

“But when Nick and Rebecca got me, Nick introduced me to hockey. Gave me something to channel my anger and frustration into. He saw the potential in me and encouraged me. They adopted me right before I turned eighteen and the rest is history.”

I had never heard Ledger’s story before. I wonder if anyone else knows or if he keeps his past to himself in which case, I feel bad for even asking.

“I think that’s amazing, Ledger. I’m the product of a single mother’s hard work and personal sacrifice. And I get the anger and frustration more than you may realize.”

His curious eyes meet mine. “Yeah?”

I take another bite, nodding as I chew. “Mhmm.” After I swallow I add, “My dad wasn’t around very much and once they divorced he didn’t give two shits about me.

And the guys my mom brought into her life weren’t much better.

It took fourteen-year-old me to get her to see the pattern she had been moving through.

So, she swore off men and turned her life around and then made all the sacrifices she could to support me and make sure I had a better life. ”

“That’s pretty bad ass of you to put your mom in her place as a fourteen-year-old girl,” he says with an impressed smirk.

“What can I say?” I lift a shoulder. “I’m bad ass like that.”

He lifts his water bottle and clinks it against mine though being two plastic bottles they don’t make much sound. “Yes you are. Cheers to that.”

We both take a few bites of our food before Ledger finally glances at me. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Why do you want this?”

“Want what?”

“A baby. Why do you want a baby like this? Why not do this with your future husband? I’m sure you have a waitlist of eligible men.”

That makes me laugh. “You’re sweet, Ledger, but no.

There is nobody waiting on the other side of my door.

Nobody good anyway.” I sigh, rolling my eyes.

“It seems I take after my mother in the men department. I don’t have the best average when it comes to relationships.

The last guy I was with told me he wanted kids and I thought everything was great. ”

Ledger narrows his eyes. “Feels like there’s a but in there somewhere.”

I nod. “But…then I found out he not only wanted kids, but he wanted as many as he could possibly create. So much so he had already fathered fifteen children with twelve other women.”

His eyes nearly pop out of his head. “Holy shit!”

“Yeah. Like I said…bad track record. And maybe a piss poor judge in character. Either way, I’m not getting any younger and now my clock is ticking.

If I wait too much longer, my body won’t be in my favor where it comes to growing a child.

Even at the relatively young age of thirty-one, it’s considered a risky age to be having kids, so I don’t want to wait anymore,” I explain.

“I really want to be a mom and my life is stable enough that I could bring a baby into this world and raise it on my own. The idea of doing so doesn’t deter me.

But,” I meet Ledger’s eyes, “it could deter you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean if I have a baby—your baby—and we’re both still working for the Anaheim Stars franchise, then you’ll most likely see your child in and around the arena. Are you going to be okay with that? Because if you’re not, we might want to rethink?—”

He shakes his head. “Not rethinking, Marlee. I said I was in and I’m in.

” He silently takes a deep breath before saying, “I’ll admit, this whole thing isn’t something I had been thinking about before the wedding.

This probably isn’t one of those decisions I should be making quickly but you asked and I…

uh…” He taps his fingers on the table in front of him again.

Is this his nervous tell?

“I didn’t want to say no.”

“You’re right. This isn’t really something you should be forced to decide quickly.

I wouldn’t dream of sitting you down and asking you to be a co-parent or something when that may not be what you want.

Your life is busy and sometimes chaotic.

I get that. You can take all the time you need.

I mean once I’m knocked up you’ll have about nine months or so to decide, so. ..”

“Right. Thanks.”

“But seriously.” I rest my elbows on the table and lay my hand on his forearm.

“Before the baby comes, if you want or need to talk about contracts or anything like that, we can make that happen. I think I just want to be sure we don’t have a situation where some days you want to be all in and some days you don’t. ”

“Marlee I would never do that to a kid.” He shakes his head, his brows pinching. “I don’t think we need contracts. Do you think we need them?”

His question catches me off guard and I lean back. “Well, I just thought you might want to protect yourself from?—”

“You?” His brows arch. “Do I really need to protect myself from you, Marlee?”