Page 2 of We Could Be Better

kyra

If I could, could forget him I would. Please believe me and I know that I should throw the towel in, but baby its not that easy. You treat me so much than him and if I was sane there would be no competition, but im in love with someone else. Im so sorry hey, hey im in love with another man

I thought by us having sex for the first time it would change his feeling about me.

I know I wasn’t experienced but I was willing to learn any and everything to be with him.

But even after that I would still watch his hoes come and go.

I tried hard hiding my feelings for Cash but I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get him out my head.

Wanting to be with him had gotten so bad for me that I would watch him fuck other females doing the day and then fuck me doing the night.

My feelings started changing though I was getting tired of waiting for him to want me.

But every time I would try to move on; he would always find his way back and we would end up in the bed together only to get my feelings hurt the next day.

A year later I just packed my shit up and never looked back; I thought Cash would be a blur of the past until I saw him today.

“Why you ran off like that girl?” my husband Keith asked

“Sorry baby I think I got my period. I’m ready to go home”

“Do you need any medicine?” I shook my head and we headed home.

I met Keith while I was in college he took a class together and he asked me on a few dates.

At first I would turn him down whenever he would try asking me on a date hoping that one day Cash would come look for me being that I just up and left our old hood without saying bye.

But after days turned into months and months turned into years; I finally realized that he wasn’t coming.

I decided to go on a date with Keith and we hit it off that very same night.

We dated for a year then he asked for me to marry him a few months later we flew to Hawaii and tied the knot, but still even then I had to spot in my heart for Cash.

No matter where I went or who I ended up with we always found our way back to each other.

Now here I was lying in my room, with my husband arms around me listening to his light snores, with my earphones in my ears thinking about another man.

Days passed since I seen Cash and his girl at the store that day and I couldn’t get him off my mind.

I wanted to beat myself up for letting in slip away again, but I had to keep reminding myself that I was married and couldn’t think about another man.

I tried keeping busy just to keep my mind off him and on something else, but said fuck it.

I was about to try my luck and take a ride through our old neighborhood, it would be nice to visit and see how things were.

It was only 2 hours away from where Keith and I stayed so it wasn’t a bad ride.

I left Keith a note on the fridge saying that I was going visit my parents; I jumped and my car and pulled out of my circular driveway to play with fire.

Pulling up in my parents driveway was something I dreaded doing.

I was never that close with my mother and tried staying away from her being that she hated the ground I walked on and I never knew why.

My father has always treated me and my sister like we were queens, but not my mother dunk ass.

Bitch would drink you out of a house note if you let her and the day I left to live with Dreka I promised to never return.

Our house sat in the heart of the hood and everyone around the way would come sit on our steps from sun up until sun down just laughing, drinking, and smoking.

“I know that aint Kyra too good ass in the hood” I heard someone call.

I turned around to see my childhood best friend Onika standing there with her hands on her hips and her blonde weave in her head.

I almost broke my ankle running to give her a hug.

Onika was the true definition bitch was real life ghetto and didn’t mind cutting you up, but she was always there for me.

I could call on her all hours of the night and she was running.

“Oh no bitch don’t hug me I just want to know how the fuck you just up and leave without saying anything.”

“I’m sorry Nik I was going through a lot at the time and just wanted to get away from everything. I miss you girl, how have you been?” I asked her

“Girl shit wasn’t the same with me when you left my ass, but I managed im good and happy to see you.”

“Look take my number and we can meet up. I’m about to go in check on my parents we can link up later.” I assured her and walked off but not before hugging her once again. When I walked in my parents’ house the smell of liquor and piss instantly hit my nose.

“Ma” I called out but no one answered me.

I walked through the house to look for her only to see her passed out in the bathroom with a needle hanging out her arm.

Damn I didn’t know it had gotten this bad.

I talk to my sister everyday she hadn’t said anything, but then again how would she know she hated the ground our mama walked on and every time they came face to face she made sure she let her know.

‘I didn’t come here for this shit bruh.’ I thought

“Ma wake up” I said as I threw a bucket of water in her face

“Why the fuck did you do that bitch?” she asked as she looked at me with so much hate.

“Well I was helping you but I’m sorry I’ll never save you again.”

“I don’t need you to save me hoe. You and your sister already ruined my damn life the day I had yall. I don’t need you to save me what I need is for you to get out of my house and to never come back.”

“Where is dad?”

“How am I supposed to know he left me the same day yall hoes did. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT.”

I looked at her with so much anger but did exactly what she asked.

As I approached the door I saw a tall figure leaning against my car smoking a blunt.

I walked outside and thought just my luck I felt a tear get ready to escape but I quickly blinked it away I stood there just staring into his eyes.

Nothing about him changed he still had that sparkle about him every time I came around.

His eyes were honey brown, he stood about 6 foot even, the waves in his freshly cut fade with the part to the side was making me a little sea sick, his teeth were so white and those dimples made my juices flow soon as he smiled.

We stood there just smiling at each other and staring until he finally broke the silence.