Page 31

Annalise

P ower within the beast society is something earned by strength. It is why Cyrus rules without pushback, no matter his decisions. And it is why Ciel, though he is half beast, will have no problems ruling over this land once Cyrus passes it to him. It is also why Cyrus doubted my capability of ruling in the past. Not only do I have no strength, but I couldn’t protect myself, my son, or even this kingdom if I wanted to. Making me his queen at the time put not only mine, but Ciel’s life at risk, as Elias so easily proved.

But I have learned of a new way to gain the respect of a beast. Beasts are proud creatures who flaunt their strength. In beast culture, to owe someone your life means more than words can atone for. It means loyalty, and that in itself is strength. If that beast in particular holds you in high regard, the others will follow.

Upon my order, Calista has secured me a team of beasts she deems most worthy to protect me during my trip outside of the palace, to end the life of Elias. Calista herself cannot join me, as she has just given birth and will only hinder us, according to her. But this group of beasts, along with Joan, have pledged their loyalty to me. And at this point, it is all I can ask for.

I silently study Cyrus from my position at the palace entrance with Ciel in my arms as he speaks to Felix. His eyes are determined as he once again goes over everything he expects for this journey. Cyrus remains a mystery to me now more than ever as I come to terms with the shift between us. His words to me just last night ring in my mind as he admitted to going against everything that we are to one another. The path to get to this point has been grueling, and quite honestly, I still can’t fully wrap my mind around it.

We’ve spent more time apart between his exiling me and now, and yet as I return, he is a different beast. A beast who claims to love me so much that he would put aside everything that I am to sate his inner beast. And I don’t know where that will leave me when he discovers what I have planned to do. It does, however, give me more confidence in my decision. No matter how angry he may become, he will never send me away again. It’s as Joan said. He needs me, not the other way around. And as I hold Ciel in my arms, I am reminded of where this aching hole in my chest has come from in the first place. It is what fuels my determination and allows me to ignore the possibility of consequences.

I will have my revenge.

In all my life, through every wrong that has been dealt to me, I have never had my revenge. It has all backfired one way or another, especially since Cyrus has been on the receiving end of that revenge. But what I feel for Elias has grown deeper inside of me than my prior fear of Cyrus. It has festered, rotting every piece of my mind so that all I can see—all I can imagine is his death. And not a swift one, as Cyrus wants to give and be done with. A long, tortured one. For using me in every way imaginable. For torturing me in ways my mind has locked away to remain sane. For pushing my body to a point that forces me to depend on Cyrus daily to restore it to a healthy enough version of itself to last another few hours. And above all, for robbing me of life.

Cyrus’s words to me that night in the courtyard only ignited my hatred further. To have to speak the names that will never be is…maddening. And to know that Cyrus will allow Elias the sweet emptiness of death is something that I cannot accept. As much as I tried, I just cannot.

Cyrus may have recognized his new feelings for me, but he still sees me as not only a weak human, but his possession. He so much as said it himself last night as he made sure I understood that even though his temperament has changed, a life without him is not one I will be indulging in.

But I will not enter this prison without getting what’s owed to me. I am smart. I am agile, and I have not only trained with Elias and Cyrus themselves, but in my post-memory loss state, I helped train the people like me that Elias has surrounded himself with—those who are not quite human, as Cyrus so eloquently put it. Just empty vessels, ready to contain and expel the power of a beast. A power so threatening that Cyrus made the decision to eradicate them along with Elias. With no care that they’re being forced into this role—only that they exist and are a threat. And while the old me would have tried to do something about it, the new me only wants to protect Ciel.

I’m pulled from my thoughts as Cyrus approaches, a grin on his lips as Ciel reaches for him. He gently pulls him into his arms, adoration in his eyes as he looks at him. Cyrus never struck me as the type to want a family. Even when I was still a slave, he never seemed like he was capable of the attention he gives to Ciel. But he has changed immensely since then, becoming a father his own would be proud of.

“You’ll take care of your mother while I’m gone, yes?” Cyrus says.

Ciel’s eyes are wide as he nods, a small rumble emitting from his throat as he speaks the language of the beasts to his father. Cyrus smiles, laughing softly as he nods, pulling Ciel in for a deep hug.

“I will be back as soon as I can be,” he says softly.

Cyrus’s eyes shift past me to Joan, and she steps forward as he hands Ciel off, focusing his full attention on me. I lower my eyes, bowing slightly.

“I do hope you will be successful, Your Majesty—” I release a gasp as Cyrus places his finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his. He searches my eyes before removing his hand.

“Cyrus,” he says, correcting me.

“Cyrus,” I repeat softly. I note that Cyrus’s eyes dilate slightly as he listens to me call his name, his inner beast showing itself, if only for a moment. I find myself reveling in this moment. This moment where Cyrus looks at me with adoration, finding relief in hearing me do something as simple as saying his name.

“I will return. Then we can put all of this behind us and move forward.” he says.

Before I can respond, he leans in closer to me, the heat from his body melding with my own as he speaks to me in a low tone.

“I look forward to learning more about the baker’s daughter who existed before me,” he says.

I can’t find the words to respond as he pulls away, studying my features. Up until this moment, I thought Cyrus only spoke to me about that in the clearing because he wanted this version of me back, not because I had actually pulled his interest.

Cyrus chuckles from my shock as he places his hand along my jaw, pulling me in close.

“I will make him pay for what he’s done, Anna. He will never threaten our lives again. Him and anyone aligned with him,” he says.

I gently place my hand over his, looking into his eyes. I once feared these eyes more than anything in this world. But now, I look into them, urging him to make Elias pay.

“Then will you take me with you?” I ask.

Cyrus’s frown deepens as he studies me.

“Anna…” I step away from him, and he lets me, his hand that once caressed my cheek falling to his side as he watches me in confusion, not understanding this side of me. And I know why. I’ve always been one to cower and give in. I’ve never pushed him like this. Each of my small rebellions involved me running away, allowing someone else to finish for me. But not this time. This was my last attempt to allow Cyrus to give me what I desire. And now I know I need to take it into my own hands.

In the same way I don’t fully understand this new version of Cyrus, he doesn’t quite understand this side of me.

“Then I look forward to your return, Cyrus. I look forward to learning about the king whose heart I hold,” I say softly.

Cyrus is silent for a moment, releasing a soft scoff. He then steps close to me, pulling me in, his lips covering mine. He is possessive in this kiss, capturing me instantly as he lets his intentions be known. My body melts in his arms as it has been trained to do, my heart beating slightly faster as he claims me. Once he pulls away, I am a trembling mess, and he notices a smirk finding its way onto his lips.

He doesn’t say anything else as he makes his way down the steps, mounting his horse. I continue to watch him, my heart fluttering slightly as he calls to his men. He still doesn’t look back as his horse takes him out of the courtyard, past the gates, and out of the kingdom.

I don’t know how long I remain on the palace steps, but it isn’t until Joan gently places her hand on my shoulder that I am pulled back to reality.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Your Majesty? If something goes wrong, you’ll be placing yourself and every living creature in unnecessary danger,” she says.

I laugh softly to myself, turning to face Joan. My eyes fall to Ciel, who’s lying calmly against her chest. He stares at me with eyes that mimic his father’s. Elias’s words to me that night as I ran with Ciel in my arms constrict my chest as I study my son.

“I will have your son!”

“You were so close to killing me. So close to your revenge.”

I give Ciel a soft smile, gently running my hand along his cheek as I pull him from Joan’s arms to hold him. Cyrus once worried because my existence alone would put Ciel’s life in danger. And I was forced in that moment to see just one of the many reasons how.

“I need to do this. Not only for me, but for him,” I say, shifting my attention to Joan.

“You once told me to become the queen I want them to write about in the history books. I will not be known as a queen as strong as Cyrus’s mother or any beast who comes after me. But I will be known as a queen who protected her son and avenged her loss. I will be known as the queen who did whatever it took to right any wrongs to her. I will be the queen the history books feared to write about because mercy was reserved for the king to give. Not me.”

Joan’s eyes widen as I speak, and she lowers her head slightly.

“And I will follow you every step of the way and ensure you return safely, Your Majesty,” she says gently.

I smile, moving past her to make my way into the palace.

“I know you will.”

Calista is waiting for me as I enter the courtyard. Cyrus has forbidden me from leaving the palace while he’s gone, but luckily Calista is a guest since their estate just burned down and Felix has left her as well. So I don’t have to leave to meet up with her. I note that the courtyard is empty of its usual servants, Calista’s new servants looking quite intimidating as I approach.

There are three of them total, all of which I’ve never seen before. The tallest has her dark hair pulled into a bun, her facial expression unwavering. She’s eerie, I note, the closer I get. The other two are twins. They share the same pitch black hair that even in braids falls past their waist. Their warm skin reflects in the sunlight, reminding me of chestnut.

Calista stands upon my approach, giving me a warm smile as she bows and waits for me to be seated before following suit. There are tea cups on the table as I lower myself to my seat, forcing myself to ignore the discomfort rising within me. This is another side effect of my time with Elias. This is why I am doing this—why I can’t let him get away with all he’s done. If Calista notices, she doesn’t say anything. She watches me intensely, thinking as she takes her time to speak.

“It is an honor to be chosen for something so important to you, Your Majesty,” she says. “My only regret is that I myself cannot go with you to ensure you have your revenge. But I have secured this kingdom’s most promising beasts to join you,” she says, gesturing to the beasts standing stoically behind her.

She stands, moving behind the beast who is most eerie between the three. She gently places her hand on her shoulders before looking at me.

“This is Neve. She has spent many years battling by my side. She also fought in the hunter wars. She is in line to become a general in the next few years. I trust her with my life and know she will be a great asset to you, Your Majesty. She is just what you need to gain an edge in this fight,” she says before stepping to the twins who both bow as she introduces them.

“This is Audra and Ausifah. They have been on the watchlist since joining the academy a few years ago. They are skilled in combat and are very promising candidates for the queen’s guard in a few years. As a matter of fact, they were the top of their classes, Ausifah out ranking her sister by two points. Beast twins are a rarity, but a very powerful addition to any army. And now, they will be a part of yours,” she says.

Calista moves back to her seat, reaching for a cup of tea, bringing it to her lips.

“I personally trained these warriors before my capture. And now, I give them to you as a gift, their lives in exchange for mine. And still, I cannot imagine that I have even come close to paying off my debt to you,” she says, eyeing me.

I study the beasts in a mixture of fascination and pity. Calista chose beasts with promising careers to follow me. Once Cyrus finds out about their involvement, he will at best strip them of their futures. And at worst, strip them of their lives.

“Is there a problem?” Calista asks.

Of course, she can read everything about me, including the shifts in my mood and heartbeat. I take a deep breath, deciding to be completely honest.

“You brought me women with futures. I can’t ask them to throw that away for the sake of—”

“Leave us,” Calista says.

The beasts all bow, before making their way out of the courtyard. Calista’s calm mood shifts as she looks at me, anger evident.

“You were so determined when you came to me ready to disregard everything the king told you. Was all of that a lie? False bravado?” she asks.

“Of course not—”

“Then why do you insult them by worrying about what can happen? They are warriors, bred through and through. To be asked by the Queen to be involved in such a passionate mission is an honor bigger than anything they could have accomplished in their lives,” she says.

I look away, thinking about her words. Beast culture still surprises me at every turn.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” I say.

Calista takes a deep breath, leaning back in her seat.

“You did not offend me, Your Majesty. It is them whose lives you are taking lightly. If you are to do this, truly do this, you must go in without hesitation.” She shifts her attention to Joan. “Will you let her sacrifice go in vain as well? The state Elias left her in was egregious. Will you insult her sacrifice as well—”

“That’s enough,” I say sharply.

Calista silences immediately, her expression mimicking Felix’s as she watches her handiwork take place. Her words are indicative of the world the beasts live in. And as she sets her cup down on the table, does she put the final nail in the coffin.

“Did he give you tea? Is that how he took your child?” she asks.

Silence stretches between us as we make eye contact. She noticed my change when I sat down. She reaches for the cup on the table and studies it.

“Was the cup elaborately decorated, disguising its true intentions? Did he force it down your throat, or did you unsuspectingly drink it?” she asks.

I pull in a trembling breath as I recall the way he stormed into the room and had me held down as he forced it down my throat, holding my nose until I unwillingly swallowed. I feel Joan’s gentle touch on my back as she tries to comfort me, speaking to Calista.

“I think that’s enough, Your Grace—”

“He forced it,” I say, lifting my gaze.

Calista smiles. “Remember that feeling, Your Majesty. Don’t let your kindness outweigh the balance of nature. He must pay for what he did to you and your unborn child. Death is too easy. The king can never understand the pain you feel… the violation. This is your journey to take alone,” she says.

“Why are you so adamant about helping me this way?” I ask.

“Because I owe you. And because I know what it’s like being at the mercy of men, unable to take my revenge. I will supply you with as many beasts as you need to make him pay for what he has done.” Calista stands, walking closer to me with the cup in her hands. She holds it out to me, watching the tremble of my fingers as I take it from her.

“You will make him pay for causing you this turmoil, Anna. I know you will. And that is the kind of queen I am more than happy to aid. A queen who moves outside of what’s expected. A queen who even makes her King bow to her.”