Page 25

Cyrus

S omething strange is happening and I can’t even begin to address it, let alone understand it. I feel more calm than I’ve felt since Annalise was taken. The lack of control I had over my inner beast has dwindled significantly, I realize, as I study Anna from the window. What’s more shocking, my beast form touched her… and nothing happened. She didn’t die, she didn’t have the life pulled from her, she didn’t even flinch in pain as the black smoke shrouded her skin. She moaned in my arms, unaware that her life hung in the balance. And here she remains, utterly unaffected by what should have killed her.

From what I know about her, she was bred into existence using trinkets. Hunters would breed using activated trinkets to allow mingled forms of beast DNA into newer generations’ bloodstream, making it possible for humans like her to withstand a trinket with someone like my father’s power.

She was bred to withstand the power of a full-blooded beast.

But she was never able to reach that potential, and given what her body has been through recently, she never will. The entire time we were intimate, I could continuously sense her frailness. Yet somehow, she survived my touch.

And I have no idea why.

I release a breath as I make my way outside to interrupt her. She does this often—sits near the edge of the trees, staring into the distance. I can’t help but speculate that she is planning something when I see her doing this. The past we share is filled with moments like these. Me watching her feign innocence only to be jilted in the worst ways imaginable later. She seemed determined when she told me to let her go. I find it hard to believe she would give up so suddenly because I threatened her a little.

I remain silent as I stand behind her, content to watch her like this. Her breathing is deep. She’s lost in thought, oblivious to my presence. She’s been through a lot from the day we met until now. I never had to deal with the consequences of my actions because Anna was never important to me during our earlier days together. I had no reason to feel remorse for what transpired, and she was at the mercy of the king, doing whatever she could to survive. But now she’s been returned to me with shattered fragments of her memories, actually able to mourn those she lost to this war and resent those she gained because of it.

History would weep to know what I have done for the sake of a human.

“Not planning to run off into the night are you?” I ask, enjoying how her eyes widen as she looks at me with a startled expression.

She quickly looks away, focusing on the forest as she speaks.

“I already told you I’m not planning on running away,” she says. I sense truth in her words, but I cannot trust my instinct when it comes to her.

So, I remain silent as I sit next to her.

“Then why are you so transfixed by the trees?” I ask, studying her reaction.

She smiles softly, lowering her eyes.

“I grew up in them,” she whispers.

After a moment, she looks at me, and my chest aches from the pain I see.

“You said the other day that I am not the Anna you love… did you know her beyond your lust for her?” she asks.

I laugh, shaking my head. “There was no need. My Anna’s life didn’t truly begin until she met me,” I say.

Instead of reacting with anger, she laughs.

“But she did exist before you, you know. She had a life, a home, a village,“ she says.

I inhale a deep breath as I try to reign in my irritation. She’s challenging me, but not in the ways she did before. She’s challenging my emotions for her. She is trying to invalidate my love by making me see that I didn’t know the first thing about her.

I finally laugh, eyeing her.

“Okay, Annalise. Tell me about this life you mourn,” I say.

I note that she flinches from my choice of words, her smile dropping slightly. She shifts her attention back to the trees, taking a deep breath before finally relenting.

“My father was a baker. Our shop was the pillar of our community, so to speak. So I knew everyone in the village. I knew when everyone’s birthdays were and when anniversaries were. I knew everyone’s faces. My father helped establish the village, ensuring it was deep enough into the forest so the beasts would never happen upon us. If not for the war, I’m sure you never would have found us,” she says.

I bite my tongue.

In truth, if not for her, I would never have found them. Her father did an impressive job hiding her village. He was a hunter, after all, and knew how to avoid my kind. Their village was far outside my kingdom’s boundaries, and it was shielded by miles of forest. The river that was located miles away from their village masked the scent completely. I was shocked to see Anna standing there across the water, a human no less. But I won’t tell her any of that. Not when she’s back to her original emotions, mourning her village. And not when her current memories are fondness of her father, not the truth he kept from her that would shake her world once again.

“Did you ever learn to bake?” I ask, pulling her attention.

“What?” she asks in confusion.

I’m confused myself at my curiosity. But her challenge pissed me off. Before she was taken, she was asking me questions, wanting to get to know me on a deeper level. It never occurred to me to do the same. But now that I see how stained with blood the foundation of our life together is, I find myself wanting to form a connection and give her a reason to want to come back to me and Ciel.

So, completely out of character for myself, I repeat my question.

“You said ‘our shop’. I’m assuming you helped your father run it?” I say, to which she laughs.

My heart beats heavily against my chest as I watch her cheeks rose from the strain as a true smile appears on her lips.

“Made it more difficult for him is more like it,” she says. “I would always daydream, managing to burn something and leaving him frantically trying to clean up my mess.”

Her smile eventually disappears as she remembers something. “I burned the broth the day you came. That is why I was at the river—to get more water.”

Silence passes between us.

“I did know how to bake a cake, though. I was planning to make one for Ciel on his first birthday,” she says, breaking the silence.

My eyes widen, and I look at her in shock, trying to calm my excitement.

“You remember him?” I ask.

She gives me a strange look before responding.

“No. It’s all fragmented in here. I know your name, I know what you did to my village, and I know the emotions that come with your face. But I don’t recognize you at this moment. It’s like information you learn as a child. You don’t remember learning it, but you know it,” she explains.

Although she claims there’s been no improvement, I know she is lying. For days, every chance I get, I work on healing her mind. I don’t know if she’s noticed by now how excessively I put my fingers in her hair and rub her temples. Each time I do, I’m attempting to heal her mind properly. I know the information she just revealed about Ciel is new. Until that moment, she claimed to have no recollection of him, not even interacting with him. But for her to bring up something like that means there’s more going on in her head than she’s letting on.

I smile to myself, looking deep into the woods.

“You did love him. More than anything in this world. These feelings you have now towards him, I expected them when I searched for you—after you ran away with him. I was shocked beyond reason when I learned of his existence—that you actually kept him and raised him,” I say.

My chest squeezes tighter with each word as I think of the days I took for granted. Blinded by my rage, I couldn’t learn to trust Anna in any capacity, even though it was clear just by having Ciel that she would never do anything to jeopardize his life. I took her for granted.

“You were so appalled when I asked you how you could look at him without any hate or resentment. He was your everything,” I say.

Anna is silent next to me.

“You became everything you needed to be for him. You loved him more than you feared me. I know even in this state, you aren’t cruel enough to condemn him for something he had no control over. So why are you so afraid of returning? Do you not see the life that is waiting for you?” I ask, no longer able to contain my desire.

She scoffs, pulling her knees to her chest as she looks at me.

“And what life is that, Your Majesty?” she asks.

My fingers itch to touch her, so I shift, lifting my fingers toward her face. Her eyes follow my movement as I gently push the stray hair from her face to feel the softness of her cheek beneath my thumb. I inhale a deep breath, my inner beast instantly quelled as I remain in physical contact with her.

“A life where you have the heart of the king,” I say.

Her eyes widen slightly, and her heart rate elevates as she pulls away from me. She quickly stands, her breathing erratic as she looks around. I know it’s her memory swirling around in her mind, trying to break through to the surface. So, I stand with her, gently holding her arms as I try to steady her.

“Just breathe, Anna,” I murmur.

Her wide eyes fall on me, and she shakes her head.

“Why? Why do you think what you feel for me is love and not just your twisted lust? Do you not remember everything you’ve put me through?” she asks shakily.

I study her intensely, picking up on the small nuances. She’s close—she’s so close to returning to her memories. But she won’t take that final step. And it looks like I am the reason. She sees how I was, not how I am now.

I pull her flush against me, holding her face in my hands as I look deep into her eyes.

“I have spared you more times than I can count, Annalise. I have broken the laws of my kind for you. I have offered you my kingdom, and I have accepted the child born from you. I traveled across the ocean for you, and even now…” I trail off, closing my eyes as I let my beast form shift to the surface. I hear Anna’s fear-filled whimper as the black smoke pours from my skin, surrounding us. The icy chill I’ve grown accustomed to covers my body, and when I open my eyes, although I am shrouded in darkness, Anna is right here with me, with terror laced in her eyes. But she’s here. Unharmed.

“I couldn’t kill you if I wanted to,” I finish.

Anna’s eyes are wide as the smoke licks at her flesh, doing no harm. Her legs slowly give out, and she sinks to the ground, pulling me with her. I slowly withdraw my beast form, and as the light of day breaks through the smog and we are back in the clearing, I note the surrounding grass is dead, just as everything I touch in my beast form should be. Anna’s eyes follow mine, focusing on the damage before looking back at me.

“That is why I know what I feel is more than lust.”