Page 20

Cyrus

T his should be a time to rejoice, as Annalise has finally returned home, but it is not. It is a time to mourn, to plan, and to eradicate. I find it more difficult now than ever to hold onto what little piece of my humanity is left. Even the memory of that beast holding Annalise by her throat is enough to send me into a state of disarray. But I cannot go gallivanting into the woods to sate my revenge for it all. I must act as a king and keep my subjects safe. And no matter what my rules were before, Annalise is now part of that.

I silently place my palm against her cheek, reveling in the fact that she’s actually here. This isn’t a dream. She’s physically returned to me. Her eyes are closed, and she looks peaceful in her slumber, but I know she is not. I know from inspecting her myself that a lot of damage has been done in my absence.

Her body is frailer than it’s ever been. Physically, she is now weaker than a human child. Her body, though healed at the times of injury by mediocre beasts, was never fully returned to a healthy state. And since she used my seal at the time of most of her injuries, it only lessened the impact, not stopping the damage altogether.

Her body’s current state is like a vase that’s been broken. Each time, it was physically pieced back together the way it should be. But the cracks were never sealed. And each break that followed caused more pieces to be missing when attempting to be placed back together. Now, the glass is much weaker than when it began. A simple tap could shatter it—shatter her.

It will take a long time to make her body as it once was, as my healing is much more advanced than those beasts Elias used. And so far, Annalise’s body is receptive to some, but unfortunately, not all. I don’t know if she’ll ever be the same.

I eye the scars upon her body in resentment.

I was lucky to come upon her and Ciel when I did. The beast who had her in a chokehold was seconds from killing her. I only made it to Felix’s in the time that I did because I rode ahead of my men, not bothering with breaks. And I am glad that I did. She and Ciel were defenseless. I was so close to losing everything that mattered to me.

So fucking close.

I can’t imagine what she’s been through since she was taken. And she’s been unconscious since we left Felix’s estate, leaving me unable to speak to her. Not that she remembers me. Felix’s letter was very clear about her mental state. And until she awakens, I won’t know how extensive that damage is.

I finally shift my attention to the darkened skin of her thigh, my despair deepening as I study it. I will never be able to heal that piece of her. Just as I will never be able to recover the loss she suffered at Elias’s hands and has yet to recall. She’s only surface-level broken right now. Once her memory returns, I can only hope that I am near to hold her together.

I suck in a trembling breath running my fingers through her hair.

I’ve never felt regret when it comes to humans. Even with Anna, I never regretted any part of our time together. But a deep sense of it washes over me as I look at her—as I come to terms with everything that has been taken away from both of us, including the child we will never meet. It is this feeling that helps me to embrace the beast in me. The feeling is unbearable.

A light knock sounds before a servant enters.

“Your Majesty, the General has returned.”

Felix is already waiting for me in my study when I arrive. He moves to stand as I enter, but I quickly hold my hand up, preventing him from doing so. He’s already been through so much. Not only did he battle Elias to protect the inhabitants of his estate, but he also battled humans and beasts on top of that.

“Did you find him?” I ask.

Felix shakes his head. “No. Once he realized you were on the premises, he escaped. We tracked him as far as the mountains but lost him there,” he says.

I suck in a deep breath, reigning in my irritation. It isn’t Felix’s fault. Elias had a plan to ambush and burn down Felix’s estate and was ready should anything go wrong. And though Felix put up a good fight against the beast, Elias was prepared for an escape.

I eye Felix as he sits in front of me. His outer demeanor is tense, as if he’s trying to hide his true emotions, and I know why.

“Dimitri is alive, Felix. Barely clinging to life, but alive. Elias is very skilled in using what little control he has over his beast form. Unfortunately, when he attacked Dimitri, he used it to worsen the injury,” I say, hoping to somewhat relieve Felix’s stress.

I’ve never cared for the halfbreed. He would always have a part of Annalise that I could never have, as Annalise would always have a part of him Felix could never have. But if not for him, Anna and Ciel would have died in that field. Elias would have done to them what he did to Dimitri. And for that, I owe Dimitri my life.

“I am personally overseeing his recovery, Felix. I won’t let him die,” I say. “I owe him everything.”

Felix smiles gently, looking out the window.

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” he says.

“And how is Calista and the baby?” I ask.

“They arrived just ahead of me, safely. Calista is settling in. Our daughter is strong. She will make a powerful addition to your empire,” Felix says proudly.

I smile. In all of this uncertainty, the arrival of new life is always a source of joy. I hate that the arrival of Felix’s heir was marred by something so severe, including the destruction of his home. As much as we want to celebrate the small victories, this battle is far from over.

“How is Annalise? Has she awoken yet?” Felix asks.

I shake my head.

“Her body is much more receptive to my healing… but it still does little in the grand scheme of damage done,” I say.

“I’m sorry about your loss. Now that I have one of my own, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling,” Felix says.

His words again force the emotion I’ve pushed down bubble to the surface, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Now is not the time to mourn. Now is the time to prepare and retaliate.

“I’m sure Elias’s plans have changed drastically now that I have returned. We must prepare to attack sooner rather than wait for him to surprise us again. I won’t let him take anything else from us.”

Annalise

What is it about me that is so special? What was it that attracted two powerful creatures who did more damage than good in their quest to control me? What could possibly be my purpose to endure so much pain and suffering at the mercy of those who only seek to sate their desire over me? What did my father keep from me my entire life that could have saved me from this suffering?

My sobs fill the air, but I can’t understand why I’m crying. As I open my eyes and blink my tears away, I feel a deep sense of unease wash over me. I am somewhere unfamiliar. My eyes slowly adjust to the room’s darkness as I try to find the one comforting face in the midst of all of this, but Ciel is nowhere in sight. I slowly sit up, flinching as pain wracks my body.

The bedroom is much more elaborate than the one in Felix’s estate.

Tears spring into my vision as I recall what I saw while running for my life—what I saw Elias do to Dimitri and what Elias’s army did to Felix’s estate. Somehow, I have made it somewhere else, unscathed. But my mind is all over the place, fretting about Dimitri’s fate.

I slowly sit up, shifting my legs over the side of the bed. My groans fill the air from the ache in my chest. My body feels weak. Like I haven’t eaten in days. And although I’m used to feeling this way lately, it feels much more intense now.

The moment my feet touch the ground, my legs give way, refusing to hold me up, and I crash to the ground. Seconds later, a servant enters the room with a panicked expression on her face. She quickly comes next to me on the ground, wrapping her arms around me.

“Are you alright?” she whispers hastily as she tries to help me. She doesn’t allow me to respond as she looks towards the door.

“Quickly, alert the king!” she calls.

Panic settles over me from her words as Elias crosses my mind. There’s no way he could have taken me back when his plan all along was to kill me. Tears form as I think of Ciel and his determination to kill the innocent child. Ciel was with me when Maksim attacked. Could it be that Elias…

I shake my head, unable to stomach the thought.

“Where is he? Where is my son? Did he…” I trail off as tears spill down my cheeks from the possibility, but the servant quickly wipes my tears as she helps me back to bed.

“The young prince is safe and sound, Your Majesty. You are safe now,” she says gently.

I try and piece together everything she’s saying, but her words aren’t making sense in the context of how I understand the world. Especially her referring to me as “Your Majesty.”

“Wha—”

“Anna.” I look past the servant as my name fills the air. My body instantly recognizes the voice speaking it as it warms to the sound, my skin tingling. My eyes fall across the room to see the white-haired beast from my visions, except he isn’t a vision. He is real. And he is standing in the doorway with an expression of disbelief on his face.

He looks much more intimidating in person than he did in my visions, the scars that wrap around his body a visual representation of the creature lurking beneath. His eyes, though deep, are so vivid as they watch me, shifting in shape as he finds pleasure in my existence.

In my memories, this beast always looked at me in disdain and anger, resenting everything that I am. He hurt me, threatened me, and watched me suffer on more than one occasion. In only one of my memories did he look at me the way he watches me now.

The night he gave me his seal. The night he told me to use his name. The night we conceived Ciel.

And though I am aware of this, my present mind still has no idea how this beast sees me, how he will hate me for losing what was precious between both of us. And for giving myself to Elias, although I am his. I know nothing of this beast and his temperament, but in my memories, I always feared him so much more than I feared Elias. So I watch him in terror as he slowly crosses the room, coming to stand over me on the bed.

I flinch, closing my eyes when he reaches for me. But I feel no pain—only his warmth envelops me as he embraces me. He’s much warmer than Dimitri, and my body seems to melt into him on its own. His hand finds my hair, pulling me deeper into the embrace as he releases a trembling breath.

“...I’m so sorry, Anna.”