Page 29 of Up In Flames

Will

I t had been a quiet shift so far. Some days were like that. I’d made lunch for everyone, a huge tuna noodle casserole and garlic toast. The guys were all crowded around the table, shoveling food into their faces and talking amongst themselves.

I used the opportunity to shoot Oren a text.

He seldom messaged me when I was on shift.

He didn’t want to be a distraction. The thought was nice, but I’d told him again and again that I was able to get texts at work.

His concern was sweet, so I didn’t push him on it.

But usually if I sent a text, he sent one right back.

Most of his day was spent behind a desk, pushing paper, talking to clients, and finding and closing legal loopholes, or opening them, depending on the situation.

Ten minutes later, he still hadn’t texted me back. He hadn’t even seen my text, though. It said it had been delivered but not read so he must be busy. It was stupid to miss him when we talked all the time and saw each other as much as we could. But I couldn’t get enough of him.

Envy wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed as one of the other guys gushed about a girl he’d been seeing.

Sometimes envy was a sharp instrument, slicing and stabbing me open from the inside.

I hated how hard it was for me to be who I was when other people seemed free to be who they were. Gay, straight, bisexual, or otherwise.

“Not like Dorsey over here.”

Jonas said my name, but I had no idea what anyone had been talking about. I lifted my gaze from my plate and glanced around. “What?”

The table erupted into laughter, like I’d said something funny, furthering my confusion.

“We were just telling Hank that he over-shares. And you, my friend, were called out for under-sharing. And I’m not sure which is worse.” Jonas bumped his shoulder against mine to let me know he was just ribbing me.

“Maybe I don’t share anything because I have nothing to share.”

A lie, of course. I had a lot to share, but something always stopped me, no matter how much I wanted to tell people.

That stupid fear of rejection had burrowed its way under my skin and into the fabric of my being.

It was woven through me like the thread of a tapestry.

If I pulled it loose, would I unravel completely?

Who would I be if I wasn’t closeted? Had it become such a part of my identity that I didn’t know who I was without hiding all the time?

Jonas and Briggs both looked at me skeptically, but I ignored them. If they wanted to know something, they could come out and ask. Maybe then I’d tell them. Maybe I wouldn’t.

Most likely, I’d tell them nothing. That strategy had served me well so far. Up until I met Oren, I’d been happy with the status quo. A little lonely sometimes, but nothing I couldn’t live with. Compared to some, I had it easy.

“Come on, Dorsey. Surely there’s something you’d like to share? We know you’ve been seeing someone.” Hank reached for another slice of garlic toast.

“And how do you know that?” Briggs challenged him.

“Easy. Up until recently, Dorsey was here a lot more often, cooking meals, or dropping meals by. Hanging out on his time off. And he doesn’t do that anymore. Not as often.”

“That doesn’t prove anything, Hank. Maybe he’s just sick of your ugly mug.” Jonas lobbed a crust of bread at him. “Besides, even if he was, it’s no one's business.”

Before anyone could continue the third degree, the alarm went off and everyone shot to their feet. The radio crackled, dispatching us to a location several blocks away at a building with a jammed elevator, two occupants.

Stuck elevators were a pain in the ass more than anything.

But we still geared up to prepare for any turn of events.

We’d done drills for all kinds of situations.

Fires. Floods. Rescue operations. Elevators.

You name it, we trained for it. Still, every call out was different and there was always the potential for things to go horribly wrong.

We were on site in less than ten minutes. Briggs grabbed the pry bar that we used to wedge between the doors and force them open. I grabbed the first aid kit. Sometimes elevators did unpredictable shit when they got stuck, and sometimes people did unpredictable shit when elevators got stuck.

We were met at the front door by a pair of security guards.

“The elevator is stuck somewhere between the third and fourth floor. Maintenance is trying to lower the elevator to the third floor. Generally we’d wait to call you guys in until after maintenance exhausted their options, but the guard on the phone was a little overzealous.

” The security guard’s cheeks flushed, giving himself away that he was likely the over-eager one who’d answered the phone.

“You did the right thing,” Briggs assured him. “We’d rather be on site and not needed than be needed and not here.”

The guard led us up the stairs to the third floor.

“Any idea where exactly the elevator is stuck?” Briggs asked one of the security guards.

“Somewhere between three and four is all we know.”

“Any word from maintenance?” I asked.

The security guard radioed over for an update. “Nothing yet. They still have a couple things they can try.

“Dorsey, Jonas and I will head up to four and crack the door open and see where the elevator is. The rest of you stay here. Keep us updated about what maintenance says.”

“I’ll go with you.” The security guard, Joe Collins according to his name tag, said. He led Jonas and me up to the fourth floor. A few people were gathered around the elevator already. The news about the stuck elevator had obviously traveled.

“Can we get everyone to go back to your desks?” Joe started herding the onlookers away to give us room to work when one of them caught my eye.

“Hal?”

“Will.” Hal pushed his way past Joe Security. “Oh boy, is Oren going to be happy to see you.”

“Oren? He’s here? Of course he’s here. You work with him, so this is…”

“Oren’s in the elevator.”

My head whipped around to the elevator doors. Briggs had worked the pry bar between the doors. It took him and Jonas a few more seconds to manhandle the doors open while I stood there dumbstruck.

Oren was in the elevator, and it took every ounce of my training and my restraint not to flip the fuck out.

“Do we know if he’s okay?” I said to Hal while I watched Briggs and Jonas work the doors open. I’d hoped to see the elevator, but there was only an empty shaft.

“If they can’t lower it to the third floor, we can get them out through the top,” Jonas said, and I realized after a second that he was talking to me.

“Have they opened the door on the third floor yet?” Briggs asked Joe Security.

Logically, I knew there wasn’t anything to be afraid of.

I’d been on stuck elevator calls before, but never before had someone I loved been stuck inside.

This wasn’t some great epiphany for me. I knew I loved Oren.

I’d loved him for a while. Had I told him that?

Of course not. I was too afraid. Afraid of what it meant to love someone and hide them.

Afraid of what my parents would think if I told them about me.

It all seemed like such trivial shit now.

The night I met Oren flashed before my eyes.

The body in the back seat next to him was a stark reminder of how fragile life was.

The coppery scent of blood and then the sudden burst of fire.

Any number of things could’ve gone wrong that night, and Oren might have been lost to me before I found him.

Before I discovered what it was like to be loved the way I’d always craved.

I needed him.

“Maintenance has had zero luck getting the elevator to move. Apparently there was a concerning sound right before it came to a stop,” Joe security said. He then moved his attention to ushering the gathering crowd away from the elevators and back to their offices.

“So what’s the plan?” Ignoring Hal, who lingered just out of the way, I went to Briggs and Jonas. According to the boys downstairs, they couldn’t access the occupants from the third floor.

“Hank and Wells are bringing more gear up here. Ladders. Ropes. We’re going to get them out through the access panel at the top of the elevator.” Briggs gripped onto the wall with one hand and shone a flashlight into the shaft, first down at the top of the elevator, then up. “Shouldn’t take long.”

“Oren’s in there.” Through some miracle, my voice didn’t crack or waver.

But they had to know how desperate I was to get down there and help him.

My body screamed at me that I wasn’t doing enough, but I kept myself under control through sheer force of will.

It wouldn’t do Oren any good for me to lose my shit.

Joe Security’s radio crackled. “It’s maintenance. One of the occupants isn’t doing so hot. Panic attack. Pretty bad one.”

“That’s normal for a situation like this. Can someone stay on the line with them and assure them that we’re on our way down to them?” Jonas said as Hank and Wells burst through the door from the stairwell. I’d never been happier to see a ladder and a bunch of rope in my life.

Joe nodded and stepped out of the way to let us work.

I had to shove the idea of Oren down there panicking, worried, trapped and scared, out of my head so I could get to work.

“Jonas is the lightest one. He should be the one to go down to the top of the elevator. We can tie him off and send him down on the ladder.” My thoughts were racing at a million miles an hour, calculating the distance between the top of the elevator and the opening.

“If we can hoist them up out of the elevator, they can climb up the ladder. And if they can’t climb, we can just keep pulling them up.

Easy peasy.” Jonas secured a line to himself then looked over at Joe Security.

“Please inform the occupants that help is coming and they’re going to hear noises, but not to worry. ”

I helped Hank lower the ladder down to the top of the elevator then I took a hold of Jonas’s line. He stepped onto the ladder and carefully, but quickly, descended to the top of the elevator car.

“Fire department.” Jonas’s voice echoed up through the shaft.

I gave him a little more slack to work with as Briggs and Wells readied rope harnesses for the occupants. For Oren and whoever was with him.

Metal clanged against metal, and I heard Jonas again announce his presence.

“Fire department. How are you folks doing? Sorry we couldn’t get you out the normal way, but I’ve got some friends with me who are eager to get you out of here.”

Oren’s voice nearly made me drop Jonas’s line.

“Send her out first.” His voice faded, but the sound of crying echoed up through the shaft.

Briggs tossed a line down.

I listened as Jonas handled the situation down there and all I could think was how badly I wanted Oren off that fucking elevator. How he wasn’t even the one panicking. The man was made of steel. He had more bravery in his pinkie toe than most people had in their whole existence. Including me.

“Okay, guys, she’s ready. Just hold on tight and we’ll lift you up through the hatch.”

Briggs and Wells slowly but steadily reeled her line in, and I watched Jonas reach down to grab her hand and help her the rest of the way up through the emergency access hatch.

“She’s going to need a lift, guys.” Jonas called up to us. Clearly the woman was in no shape to try and climb a ladder. She was shaking like a tree in a windstorm.

Briggs and Wells reeled her up, and I grabbed on to her hand and helped her through the doors and back onto solid ground.

Hank took her from me the minute she was up and spirited her away so we could rescue the other occupant.

Oren.