Page 56 of True Honey (The Hornets Nest #4)

COURTNEY

I sipped on the whiskey that Silas set in front of me.

He was talking to Ryan about the games next week and I was completely lost. But it gave me time to take in my surroundings.

The tables had been cleared and everyone was flooding the space created for dancing but he was very clearly done with the entire day.

Cael’s speech had been so sweet and it was wild to watch the way they cared for each other as an outsider.

Seymour had snuck in a conversation about how soon it would be Silas and I leading the circus and the thought was eating away at the back of mind like a rabid dog. I didn’t want to think about that, I wanted to focus on the good I had in front of me at that moment.

August was dancing with Zoey who was teaching him patiently even as he stepped on her toes. Van and Dean were dancing next to them, trying to lead by example but seeing two grown men dance the waltz was only distracting August more.

It had taken no time at all for him to fall in love with them all and sitting there watching them, I understood why.

They effortlessly made room for each other and anyone that needed it.

We’d gotten unbelievably lucky. I took another sip, chasing away the feeling that rose in contest to my happiness.

Scared of the possibility that if I screwed up with Silas, all of it would be stripped away from August.

He would hate me even more than he did usually.

“Come with me,” Silas said, holding out his hand to me. I lifted my head to look at him and was met with such warmth. “Did you hear me?” He asked when I didn't move but I nodded and took his hand.

He said goodnight to Arlo, who was very sober and clearly practicing his restraint as Cael spun Ella around on the dance floor. I was glad for the rescue, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself at parties and if left much longer I probably would have started clearing tables.

Silas kept my hand in his as he led me back toward the cottage, the closer we got the quieter it became and soon it was. Nothing but birds and breeze. It was oddly peaceful and even though it took us a while, me going slower in my heels, the walk was the perfect way to settle my restless heart.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“I’m sick of people, your son is occupied, and I want that dress in pieces.”

“Silas!” My mouth fell open and I slowed my pace but Silas wasn’t having the interruption, he dipped down and scooped me up against his chest, carrying me the rest of the way back.

He pushed open the back door and stepped into the empty cottage, not stopping even for a second before we were locked behind his bedroom door. He set me down, his eyes running over my body hungrily.

“You’re being ridiculous.” I licked my bottom lip and stepped back from him.

“I have waited all day ,” Silas said, “if anything I’ve been very well behaved and earned what I’m about to do to you.”

“You looked handsome today.” I ran my finger along the lapel of his jacket and he smirked.

“You like the suit?” He asked, his voice low.

“Yeah it’s nice… although it would look better on the floor.” My eyes flickered over his body as it tensed, loving how easily he reacted to my teasing. I shifted in my satin dress, the laces at my back tightening and pulling across my skin as I walked back toward the dresser.

“You think you’re clever don't you?” he asked, his eyes darting to my lips as he quickly closed the distance between us, his large hands gripping my waist.

With my back to the dresser Silas lifted me onto it with ease, pushing up my dress and slotting his frame between my legs. I was fighting every urge not to kiss him. I wanted to light the fuse so badly but the need to see where the game took us was greater.

“It’s part of my charm.” I smiled.

Silas chuckled gently, his thumbs brushing against the skin of my thighs, “your charm is going to get you into trouble.” His voice was low with warning, but his eyes were filled with amusement.

His fingers tightened against my soft skin briefly before releasing and trailing up higher until they hit the delicate lace of my underwear. He leaned closer, his lips brushing against my ear, “I wonder if you can handle the trouble I’m about to give you.”

“Don’t underestimate me.” My smile grew and I surged forward, gently capturing his bottom lip between my teeth.

A sharp exhale left him as I bit down, his arm instantly wrapping around me to keep me in place. He turned his head, capturing my lips in a sudden, deep kiss, his tongue pushing past my teeth.

I pressed my hands into his hair, and leaned into the kiss without hesitation.

One of his hands moved to my hair to hold me in place while the other continued to tease the edge of my underwear.

“You always kiss me like you have something to prove, Drew. Breathe,” he mumbled against my lips, “we don’t have to rush tonight. ”

Silas’s eyes fluttered closed at my slower pace, one arm wrapping tightly around me while the other spread my thigh as wide as it could in my dress.

He slowly deepened the kiss, his thumb hooking into my underwear and pulling it slightly to one side.

“I want slow kisses and soft touches,” he hummed.

“It doesn’t always have to be fast and hard. ”

Something in his words rattled me to the core, I curled around him like I could melt into him. I needed to be consumed in the way he described. Slow. Overwhelming. With nothing to prove but everything to feel.

“Show me how,” I whispered.

His eyes softened for a moment before he captured my lips again, this time slower and more deliberate than before. His tongue traced my bottom lip before slowly exploring my mouth. One hand slid up to hold my jaw gently, tilting my head slightly. “No biting,” he whispered against my lips, smiling.

“I’m not the one that likes to bite,” I hummed with a lazy smile.

He rolled his eyes, nipping gently. “Okay, maybe a little biting,” he countered. He lifted me with ease, setting me on the bed and slowly pulled my underwear down, his knuckles brushing around my center. “Lay back.”

I listened, raising my hands above my head and sinking into the bed as Silas pushed the fabric of my dress up around my hips.

He looked down at me, taking in the sight before climbing onto the bed between my legs.

He spread them gently with his knees, leaning down to pressed delicate kisses to my inner thigh.

His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place as he began to move upwards slowly.

My body trembled under his careful touch, he was moving with intention, every kiss meant to tease.

Silas noticed the shutter and smiled against my skin, deliberately avoiding my center to keep building anticipation.

His lips trailed up my thigh toward my stomach where he paused to press a lingering kiss just below my navel.

“You’re shaking,” he whispered, his hot breath ghosting across my skin.

“You’re teasing.” I smiled down at him gently.

Silas looked up at me through dark lashes, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips. “Am I?” A single finger traced a line from my belly button downward, barely skimming my center but not quite touching where I needed him to. “Should I stop?”

I gently shook my head no, surprisingly I enjoyed how gentle he was being.

“Good girl.” A smug smile formed on his lips, pleased with my response. He returned his attention to my thigh, pressing soft kisses higher up that time. “I want you wet and ready before I even touch you.”

I was offering him a side of me he rarely saw, vulnerable and needy.

I was completely at his mercy. Nothing to say, nothing to prove.

Just ready for him to make good on his promise.

My breathing grew heavy, reacting to his touches as my legs opened wider.

When Silas finally reached my core I inhaled sharply, he blew a cool breath against my wetness, making my body tense without even a touch.

The air around us was heavy and felt different from all the times before. His fingers gently brushed against my clit, the teasing becoming almost too much. I needed to feel him, needed him.

“I want you,” I whispered.

His pupils dilated at the statement, his voice hoarse as he replied. “Not yet,” he said, pressing his face between my legs. He spread me open with his fingers, slowly licking up my center, his tongue focusing solely on my clit.

“Silas,” I said, softer that time, reaching my hand down to touch his hair, “I need you.”

He tensed, his fingers digging into my skin at his name. He pressed his tongue firmer against me, sucking it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. “Beg me,” he muttered against me as his fingers worked their way deeper.

“I need you,” I lowered my voice to try to convey what I wanted without sounding completely pathetic.

He had a plan and it would all be ruined by my need to be closer to him at that moment.

It was all too much, the cottage, his family, our life.

It was weighing down on me and if he didn’t tie himself around me soon, I would drift away at sea to drown in my fears of never being good enough.

He froze, pulling back to watch my chest rise and fall rapidly.

“Alright baby,” he hummed, reaching for the table.

He was getting too good at finding condoms in the dark and I appreciated his consistency in using them for me.

Other than the night at the hotel when we were both completely out of control, he’d never once pressured me into anything else.

Silas flipped the zipper on his pants, freeing himself without hesitation and rolled the condom on, his hands shaking slightly with restraint. He positioned himself between my legs, his arms caging me in as he looked down at me.

“Hold on to me,” he commanded, his voice strained.

I wrapped myself around him, desperate for the closeness and gasped as he slid himself inside.

Silas let out a low groan as he bottomed out, his eyes fluttering shut for a second.

He stayed still, allowing me to adjust before he began to move.

His thrusts were slow, like rolling waves and each time he returned to me I felt a piece of me returning back to where it belonged.

It seemed so dramatic, to say a person could fix you but Silas had, he still was, fixing me. Helping me. Encouraging.

He captured my mouth in a deep kiss as he pushed back inside, swallowing my soft moans. He pulled back to watch my face, no doubt reading me like an open book but there was nothing to find. For once I was just happy.

“Better?” He asked, his voice low and sweet.

“Better,” I responded, losing myself in him.

Silas smiled softly, pressing kisses along my jawline as he continued his steady rhythm.

His hand found mine on the pillow beside my head, fingers threading together.

His gray eyes met mine and I knew exactly how he was feeling before he said it, but the brief realization didn’t help the shock.

“I love you,” he whispered, picking up his pace.

I want to love you back.

I’m not good enough to love you the way you need.

The worst thoughts flooded in and made my vision of him hazy.

I was losing myself and Silas in the process.

I swallowed hard, and instead of responding I pressed myself against him tighter.

Willing away the sense of dread that bubbled up.

I kissed him in a deep and gentle way that said everything I couldn’t.

Silas kissed me back but I could feel his heart aching at my silence. He knew I cared for him but with the words remaining unspoken I knew I had hurt him. He buried his face in my neck, his thrusts becoming more frantic and desperate.

I had done the one thing I was trying not to do.

I had broken his heart. He continued to drag us to the edge, my pleasure mixed violently with sadness as he exploded like a firecracker.

He came with a choked groan, his body tense above me as he spilled into the condom.

He stayed buried inside of me for a moment long, his forehead pressed against mine as he caught his breath but there was a sadness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

“Give me time,” I whispered to him, pressing my hand to his face. “It doesn’t mean I don’t feel it too. Saying it is harder than expected.”

Silas watched me for a moment longer but nodded, understanding but he was still hurt and it broke my heart to see him like that. Unable to just give him what he wanted.

I’d never be good enough for a man like him.

That much was clear.