Page 50 of True Honey (The Hornets Nest #4)

SHORE

“ M r. Shore, I need you to focus.” Eileen, tall, blonde and bossy, stared at me from across the room, tapping the manila folder on her knees. She was more than impatient with me. “If there’s even a crack in your statement they will find a way to free your father with it.”

“I don’t know anything about his time with Deedee Logan,” I reminded her, trying to control my frustration. Tobais stood in the doorway of the massive glass conference room on the thirty-third floor staring at me like I was causing problems on purpose.

“This question isn’t about her, it’s about your half brother.”

“Brother,” I cut her off and sighed, “ just brother. I didn’t know about his trips to Lorette, it's a void zone in his history that wasn’t written down or recorded. There are no pictures, no memories, there’s only one paper trail that connects my father to Deedee and it’s the money.”

“There has to be something you remember, Mr. Shore, I need you to connect some dots.” She pushed harder, throwing the folder on the table between us.

“Did he ever bring Josh to the games you attended? Did he ever bring you to Lorette when he visited Deedee?” Tobias interrupted.

“No.” I said quickly but a heat spread across my chest.

“Stay in the car, Silas.” Dad looked at me in the backseat and I thought nothing of it as he parked the car in front of the shabby apartments. It wasn’t like him to bring me to this side of town and we were supposed to be going to the movies. The new Hulk movie was out today.

I waited until he was walking into the door to follow him.

There were so many stairs in this building, I’d never seen that many in my life.

When I got to the top Dad was talking to a lady and I pushed myself against the wall out of his sight.

Part of me knowing that it was better to stay hidden.

I knew the tone of his voice, he was upset about something.

Sometimes he talked to mom like that and it always made me angry in a way I couldn’t understand.

“Dee I warned you I didn’t want to see him today,” Dad said.

“Are you ashamed of him?” She hissed, she was pretty but not pretty like Mom. She was pretty in a sad sort of way.

“Yes.” He barked, “I came to see you and if you don’t—”

“No no!” She cried out quickly, cutting off whatever he was going to say to her. “He’ll be okay out here for a few minutes…” she sounded funny like her tongue was too big for her mouth and after a couple moments she returned to the door.

I pressed tightly to the corner as my father turned around to look at the stairwell and counted my breathing to keep quiet as the door clicked shut. When I peaked around the corner again my dad was gone, and so was the sad lady but in the hallway, sitting on the floor with a few toys was a baby.

I stared at him for a second, confused by his head of dark hair and sad brown eyes.

I didn’t know much about babies but even I knew that you weren’t supposed to leave them alone.

One time I got yelled at for taking Arlo into the backyard without telling Mom and she got so mad at me for going alone.

And Arlo was bigger than the baby in front of me smashing his hand into the rubber duck.

Creeping from my corner I approached the baby and got down on my knees, careful not to scare him or hurt him. His shirt was dirty with rings of drool and his face was covered in a sticky mess that might have been jam.

“Hi baby,” I said, sticking my hand out to him and letting him take my finger.

It took him a long moment but a bright smile formed on his chubby cheeks and it made me smile in return.

“What’s your name huh?” I poked his belly making him laugh and looked around at the toys on the ground.

He was on a blanket covered in pickup trucks that looked old and dirty but in the corner a few letters were sewn into the fabric.

JOSHUA

“Joshua?” I said to him and he smiled again, “I’m Silas.” I don’t know why I told the baby my name, it’s not like he was going to be my friend but he laughed again, his tiny body giggling.

I sat outside with him in the hallway, playing with the toys and checking the numbers on my watch tick by until he started to get fussy.

It started as just little grumpy whines but soon he started to cry.

When Arlo used to do that, his mom would feed him or change his diaper but we were alone in the hallway and I didn’t know what to do.

Standing up I thought about knocking on the door, more than once, only to sit back down and try to calm him down myself. I was working up the courage to knock again only for the door to swing open.

“What the hell?” Dad’s words were harsh as he appeared from the door.

His hair messing and his hand working his belt.

“I told you to stay in the car!” His hand wrapped around my arm and yanked me from the floor, shoving me toward the stairs.

I looked back to see the sad lady scooping the baby into her arms and gave him a small wave, knowing deep down that something was very wrong.

“I was out here for almost an hour!” I said, showing him my watch. “What were you doing?” I asked as he shoved me into the car.

“Business,” he slammed the door shut.

“We’re going to miss the movie,” I said sadly as he climbed into the driver's seat.

“What movie?” He scowled, pulling away from the curb too fast as I fumbled with my seatbelt and tried to sit upright.

“You told me we were going to see the movie!” I said, upset with everything that was happening but unsure how to ask the right questions.

“Grow up, Silas. You can’t always get what you want. Consider it a punishment for not listening to me.”

“Mr. Shore?” Eileen’s voice was like a loudspeaker, snapping me from the memory.

“I remember something,” I said, “I don’t know how credible it’ll be. I was only ten at the time.”

“Everything helps,” she gave me a patient, empathic smile.

I unbuttoned my shirt with one hand as the hotel room door clicked shut behind me and I tossed my bag on the long table in the entryway.

The bed was still messy from our lack of sleep last night and for a second I thought maybe she hadn’t returned from the spa but she appeared from the bathroom door.

“Hey beautiful,” I whispered as she appeared in a white robe, her hair falling around her face in soft red waves.

“What’s wrong?” She looked me over, sensing the stress radiating from me.

Ignoring her question, too tangled with trauma I wasn’t ready to process.

The hurt of my father's indiscretions were crashing down around me and Drew was the shelter I needed from the debris. I tossed the sweat drenched shirt onto the bed and crossed the room, unable to control the urge to get my fingers beneath that robe and against her skin. “You’re so soft,” the words came out as nothing more than a vibration as I buried my face against the base of her throat and inhaled.

It was the only thing that could regulate my frayed nervous system.

“They gave me just about every treatment downstairs, I’ve been touched by about seven strangers and smell like coconut,” she giggled.

“Mm,” I hummed, “I like it.” My fingers travelled over her hips and into the soft skin of her ass cupping tightly and bringing her as close as I could without melting together completely.

Her hand went into my hair and I thought that would be the end of me, my whole body shuddered from the contact and my eyes fluttered closed as she tugged gently pulling my head back.

“Better?” She asked in a tender tone.

“Better,” I hummed, trying to retreat back into her.

“You have to get ready for dinner,” she whispered, coaxing me back a touch but I wasn’t ready to break away completely. “You have to feed me Silas,” she said with a laugh. “If you don’t I’ll wither away and who will you hold hostage then?”

I looked up at her, green eyes playful and observant, the lights from the windows reflecting back at me like stars. “You ate,” I teased, nodding to the room service tray from this morning.

She narrowed her eyes on me and I knew I wasn’t going to win the fight, she was right I needed to get ready for dinner.

We were meeting with a few of my classmates from school that I hadn’t seen in a few years.

It was another opportunity to cement the relationship that no longer felt fake but for the sake of everyone involved should have remained that way.

“Shower with me?” I asked her.

“I already showered,” she hummed.

“Shower again.” I smirked, digging my fingers deeper into her skin.

“I’m not going to play your little game.,” She smiled back, the corners of her lips begging to be kissed. If I had it my way, I’d keep her locked up in this room for the next twenty four hours.

“You know it’s not little,” I teased and she tugged on my hair harder.

“Okay, okay. I’m going.” I finally relented, letting go of her ass only to wrap my hands around her jaw and pulling her toward my lips for a needy, hungry kiss.

Her fingers tightened in my hair and her hand pressed against my chest as I stole the air from her lungs.

“Shower,” she gasped, pulling free. “Now.”

I sighed, closing my eyes as she slipped away from my grasp and went back to getting herself ready. I ran the shower cold, letting it deal with the sexual frustration that was pumping through me. But nothing killed the vibe like remembering that day.

It was as if I had blocked it out completely.

I thought that the first time I’d met Josh was the day I found out about him from my father's paper trail. But that hadn’t been true.

I’d come in contact with him so much earlier than that, I’d just forgotten that day.

Whether it was trauma or ignorance that kept it tucked away, the memory was free now and it was going to eat away at me.

I got out of the shower, bending down to grab my phone from my back pocket and dialed his number.

“What?” Josh answered after one ring.

“We need to work on your phone manners,” I said, rubbing the water from my eyes and leaned against the counter as I wrapped myself in a towel.

“If I know it’s you, why would I need manners?” Josh challenged.

“Okay well,” I sighed, pushing my wet hair back with my other hand. “Nevermind.”

“What do you want, Silas?” He asked, reminding me why I dialed his number in the first place.

“I need to apologize to you,” I said, trying to control my tone.

Josh huffed. “For what now? If it’s something Charles did that you’re taking responsibility for… don’t bother, I don’t want to hear it.”

“You’re going to hear it eventually and I want you to hear it from me,” I explained. Josh went quiet and I could feel the tension that flooded him from across the phone. “I remembered something today during my meeting with the lawyers.”

“The prosecution?” Josh questioned.

“Yeah.”

“They called me twice this week, they want me to go to the prison.”

“No,” I said quickly, “under no circumstances are you going to go there.”

“I’m not a child,” Josh argued, “if it needs to be done to keep him locked up, I’ll do it.”

“I said no,” I snapped harder that time.

Josh swore on the other end. “Fine, what did you remember?” He asked after a long stretch of tense silence.

“Dad took me there when I was younger, probably about nine, maybe ten. I met you before you were even out of diapers and I didn’t fucking remember until now.” I felt like a fucking disappointment. I knew he was there, knew he existed and I had forgotten about him. “I’m sorry Josh.”

He laughed, tight and cold. “I warned you not to apologize for things that Charles did.”

“I should have said something to my mother, to anyone. But I was scared.” I said to him, just trying to be honest.

“You were a kid,” he reminded me. “Call me when you have something to apologize for that isn’t his bullshit,” he said, I could hear the smile on his face.

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“Silas,” he said before hanging up. “There was nothing you could do back then and the second you were able, you changed the entire trajectory of my life. ”

I swallowed down the guilt, using his words to create a barrier between me and the overwhelming feeling that I was letting him down again.

“You looked like me,” I said to him suddenly, “when I get home I’ll bring over some pictures, we looked alike…”

“Alright.” Josh agreed. We were still working on what it meant to be brothers, but we were getting better at it each day.

“Alright,” I repeated back to him.