Page 41 of True Honey (The Hornets Nest #4)

COURTNEY

“ F or two please,” Sylwia said to the young girl at the hostess desk. She led us back through the busier part of the restaurant to a small table against the window. She ordered us both a coffee and water, setting her bag down and settling into the chair.

I had never met a woman so intimidating, and it didn’t even make sense why I was so nervous. Everything that Silas and I were doing was a lie. Other than sleeping together. But that could only sell the story…right?

“Are you nervous?” She asked me as if she could read my mind. I kept forgetting that she had been a mother for nearly twice as long and all her instincts were sharp. She was going to be harder to get around with lies.

“A little,” I went with honesty.

“Silas makes me seem like a monster, but I’m not. I raised him after all,” she said in a voice that was a little softer than before. “Do you like coffee?” She asked as the waitress returned and I nodded.

“You raised him to be very kind,” I said once we were alone again. I filled the rest of my coffee cup with cream and brought it to my lips.

“I did my best,” Sylwia smiled at me and I felt that worry in the base of my chest like an explosion gone off. It was all we could ever do when it came to raising children. Our best.

“It’s hard raising a son who refuses to take care of himself,” she added after a moment of contemplation.

“He’s always been like that, finding little projects to keep his hands and mind busy, I have no idea where he got the notion that if he stops he’ll die.

It’s exhausting to watch him pull apart at the seams for everyone else. ”

“That is very much the Silas I have come to love,” I smiled, spitting out the word to cover our lie but unlike before it felt like sandpaper against my skin.

She studied me for a moment with a soft expression on her face, “Arlo was a project you know,” she said, stirring her coffee and I only noticed then she was drinking it black.

I didn’t know Arlo extremely well, he was quiet and always watching everyone. He gave off the aura that he didn’t want to be approached most of the time. But I did know that he and Silas had been best friends since the beginning. Inseparable, was the word Silas had once used to describe them.

“Seymour was somewhat of a mentor to his father, Arthur, when he was playing at Harbor.

From what I hear that man had more talent than any player of his time.

I married Charles after Sawyer was born, we had Silas a few weeks before Nicholas came.

I had unknowingly married into the baseball version of the Brady bunch.

Their mother and I never really got along, but she was a very strong woman for all it was worth.

And in the end I got four extra sons out of the deal, she noted with care, pausing briefly to order us a few appetizers.

“Sounds like taking on projects is a family affair,” I said, and she smiled at me with a tiny shrug of defeat. Her and Silas were more alike than either of them cared to admit.

“Arlo…” Sylwia sighed. “Silas was barely walking but the day that baby was born he had one sole purpose in life. Keep Arlo at his side.”

“Even that young?” I couldn’t stop the gentle bubble of laughter that spurred from my chest.

“Arlo didn’t have a choice, Silas never gave him one.

” Her face softened as she recalled the two.

“On paper Silas was an only child but that became untrue the day Arlo was born. They’re brothers in every sense of the world.

Given his necessity to stay close to Arlo, his decision to work with the Hornets didn’t surprise me.

He was a player when the Codys came to us.

He came home that night and talked about Cael for the entire dinner and I knew right there he had found another brother. ”

“And then Josh,” I said softly and she nodded.

“Both in blood and heart, he has been searching for Josh unknowingly his entire life. It was like he knew before anyone else. He was always restless during Lorette games, looking around the stadium like he was searching for a feeling he couldn’t figure out.

” She sounded sad but I let her continue, the insight on Silas was refreshing with how little he talked about himself.

And if she was talking about her son then she wasn’t digging into my life.

“Intuitive,” she noted, “when he gets that instinct he follows it and I gave up trying to shield him from it a long time ago. Despite the trouble it can bring, he usually has a method to his madness.”

And just like that she had gone from Silas back to me. It was obvious what she was getting at. She thought I was a project, and she wasn’t wrong. I just wasn’t unaware of Silas’s little after-school hobby to save his family's fortune.

“I thought maybe one day he’d grow out of it,” she chuckled, “but I don’t think there’s much truth to that.”

“I wouldn’t want him to,” I heard myself say but I had no idea where it came from. “I hope he always has a heart big enough to help, the world is bursting at the seams with selfish people, it needs more like Silas.”

Sylwia stared at me for a moment, no doubt surprised by the boldness of my voice but a smile crept to her stern face and the softness returned.

“He’ll need someone to protect the heart he leaves unguarded.

” She said, our eyes never left one another's.

After a moment she inhaled slowly, and I felt the conversation shifting.

“That’s enough about Silas, I want to talk about you,” she said gently, “I feel like he hasn’t told me anything, which is unlike him.

I want to know everything you’ve ever dreamed of for your big day.

I've been hosting parties for so long I tend to start micromanaging everyday life and I want to make sure it’s perfect. ”

“Silas said that you want to help plan the wedding, that’s very generous.” I just needed to get through lunch with her.

“If you’re okay with that, I don’t want to overstep if you have plans with your family,” Sylwia cooed. “I remember planning my wedding with Charles' mother. It was a horrible experience and nothing about the wedding felt like mine.”

“No family to step over,” I assured her.

“What about your son?” She asked and the question was like an unexpected shot to the chest. I hadn’t even found the courage to tell August I was spending more time with Silas, let alone break the news to him that everything was a deal just to get us an apartment.

I chewed on my tongue for a second, trying to come up with a reasonable answer that would satisfy her.

“August is thirteen he’s at the age where everything I do is embarrassing,” I offered.

“Thirteen?” She sipped on her coffee. “That is a hard age. Silas brought home his first girlfriend at that age and I remember being a mess about it.”

My heart calmed for a second, knowing we did in fact have things in common.

“August has his first crush and I’m beside myself trying to figure out what I should do,” I confessed. “Do I over parent and ask him a hundred questions or let him figure it out and wait for him to come to me?”

Sylwia chuckled, “I’m a fan of the hundred questions,” she winked at me. “Is it a girl from school?”

“They go to the same school but they met at the stadium,” I told her and she nodded.

“It’s Riona’s daughter isn’t it? Daisy?” She asked.

“It is.” I made room for the waitress to set some plates on the table and thanked her. Everything looked so delicious.

“She’s a sweet girl, you have nothing to worry about,” Sylwia said with a smile.

“I’m not worried about her, I know how boys can be,” I sighed.

Raising a son was hard enough, raising a son when he had a toxic father was another.

I had no idea what August learned from Bradley in those times when we were apart.

My only fear was that he turned out like his father and from what I could tell I had done enough to prevent that…

“I know that look,” Sylwia said, sliding her knife across a piece of toast. “I worry about the same thing, you raise them to be kind and observant but sometimes no matter how much you try it can go wrong. Keeping them from turning into their fathers is exhausting.”

I nodded, mostly staying quiet to keep from crying and I only needed to cry because of how easily she had pegged my emotions. It caught me off guard.

“So you were married previously? ”

“Yes, for six years,” I said.

“What happened?” She asked, her eyes casting on me. She knew she was overstepping but she didn’t care. She needed the story from my mouth and she needed it to calm the raging doubts that swirled around. She was protecting her son the same way I was trying to protect mine.

“I had August and got sick,” I said slowly to keep from choking on the words. “Postpartum depression ruined my marriage.”

Sylwia’s face hardened but it wasn’t concern or annoyance, it was understanding and sadness.

“I take medication for it,” I lied, I used to take it when I could afford it.

Now I was just barely hanging on until the next episode hit and riding it out from the safety of my bed.

That’s typically how a move started, the depression rolled in and once it did there was no stopping it.

I spent weeks, willing myself out of bed until one day I just couldn’t, missed shifts would end up with me being fired shortly after and in desperation mode to find work.

“I took,” I corrected myself when she arched her eyebrow.

The facial expression was similar to Silas and I could see where he got his attitude from at that moment.

His spectacular need to always be right and informed no matter how uncomfortable the information.

“You stopped, why?” She asked. I knew she would.

“Because I couldn’t afford the medication but Mrs. Shore, I want you to know that I am by no means with your son because I think it’s a payday.

” I said, not giving her the chance to object with that idea because I knew it would be swimming around in her head the second I told her.

Lying felt wrong, especially when she was sitting here just trying to make sure her son had the best. I would have done the same thing.

“So why are you with Silas then?” Sylwia questioned gently, her expression never shifting.

“Because if not for his money I would love to know how a woman, with a grown child ended up with a ring on her finger and living with my son when two months ago he was spending every night of the week with a different Hilly’s waitress. ”

I swallowed roughly, I had heard the rumors about Silas. Kayla had run her mouth more often than not about all of the time they had spent together tangled up. Back when she told me, I barely listened but now where indifference once bred, jealousy blossomed.

“I was one,” I answered honestly. “The newest.”

Sylwia stopped drinking.

“Silas is very charming, very sweet. I refused his offers, most of them at least,” I smiled, that part was true enough.

“Until you didn’t,” she asked.

“He made an offer I couldn’t refuse,” I said, “he can be persuasive.”

She finally laughed and I felt myself relax a little.

“That’s the Silas I know,” she shook her head.

“Drew I have been through my fair share of hardship this past year and I hope you understand that all of my questions come from a place of wanting to protect my son from the kind of heartbreak it is to never really know the person you’re marrying. ”

I nodded, listening carefully.

“I had the wool pulled over my eyes for years, and I love my son for all he is, even when he’s being blinded by the need to do what he believes is right. His heart is too big and too soft,” Sylwia cautioned. “Promise me that you’ll do your best to take care of him.”

The question struck me as strange considering she could have asked me for anything.

Not to marry him, to be honest, to be loving.

But she had considered what her son needed and asked for that.

Take care of him . All she wanted to do was make sure that Silas was looked after in a way that he’d never look after himself.

My heart was pounding in my chest again, terrified to make the promise when I knew there was a chance I couldn’t keep it.

The question that kept rising up, what if I screwed up?

But she had added, do your best on purpose, I could see it in her eyes.

She was giving me grace when I probably didn’t deserve it.

I swallowed roughly and wet my bottom lip.

“I promise.”

I held my breath, terrified that she could see right through me.

Panicking deep down about fights, and situations that hadn’t even happened yet.

My anxiety clawed at my insides screaming to get control but I inhaled slowly, pushing them down.

She waited a moment, her lips pressing into a tight line as she watched me, “good, let's plan a wedding then.”