Page 44 of True Honey (The Hornets Nest #4)

COURTNEY

Ms. Cody is taking us to dinner. Can I go?

I stared down at my phone, terrified at how fast my little boy was growing up and chewed on my lip. A warm chest pressed to my back and like he knew something had bothered me Silas’s arm wrapped around my stomach and pulled me back.

“He’s safe here,” Silas whispered, his eyes flickering to my phone sensing my hesitation.

I hovered over the keyboard, unsure if I believed him because it had been a long time since I felt safe anywhere and the doubt doubled when I thought about August’s safety.

I took a necessary breath in and texted back that he could but to keep his phone on.

With August occupied and given a rare night off I wasn’t even sure what to do with myself but I closed my eyes, setting the phone on the island. I leaned against Silas who didn’t protest the affection but instead placed a soft kiss to the side of my neck.

If you had asked me months ago where I saw my life going I would have laughed at you and plotted out our next road trip.

I would have had August in the car, running away from whatever the hell was going on in Rhode Island.

Silas had a way of masking the worry, dampening how loud the mean little voices were in my mind even if it was just temporary.

My only fear was that I was using him as a band-aid, covering up damaged goods and pretending to be something I wasn’t just to keep him happy.

I was so terrified that I was single-handedly turning him into another Bradley.

We were safe now, but down the road when I inevitably fucked this all up beyond repair would he be willing to work this hard to prove me wrong.

Or would the fight become too exhausting?

The battle against my mind seemingly always won out over all the good.

Did the safety stand a chance against the war I was waging against myself?

The spiral was like hitting black ice and suddenly I was slipping out of control again.

“Riona is the most responsible person he could be with, I promise.” He said, fingers splayed out over my stomach as he matched his breathing to mine and slowed us both down.

He was too good at that, whether it was accidental or he knew what he was doing.

He could throw on the brakes and take the wheel when I started to spin out of control. “Do you want to go for a ride?”

I snorted, it bubbled up so fast there was no stopping it and Silas laughed at the noise, his fingers digging into my side. It was honest and raw because he had caught me so off guard with the question, and dirty thoughts flooded in washing away everything else.

“What’s so funny?” He tickled my ribcage and I squirmed free of his grip, backing up a few steps that he slowly closed with a predatory look in his gray eyes.

“What kind of ride?” I chewed on my lip, looking him over.

He was unusually naked, his bare chest damp from his shower and a pair of loose sweats low on his hips that did nothing to hide every inch of him.

My mouth went dry. I watched as his neck and ears turned a funny shade of pink and his tongue darted out over his bottom lip.

“The bike,” he said, wet strands of hair falling against his forehead begging to be touched. “Unless…” he stepped forward again but I put my hand out to stop him.

“Later,” I laughed.

“Oh so you’re a pervert and a tease!” He barked out a laugh and surged toward me wrapping me up in his arms and lifting me to the counter. He slotted between my legs like he had always belonged there and I was starting to think maybe he did.

“You make it a little hard to be anything else,” I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer trying to ignore the little monster in my head telling me to worry, to panic.

Silas studied my expression and I did my best not to show him what was beneath the flirty and fun Drew he was chasing around after. I wanted to be better, for him.

“The bike will clear your head,” he said, and it soothed over the worry.

He could have as easily asked me what was wrong but he didn’t because it wasn’t what I needed.

Read like a book left open for anyone to see.

“Ice cream from Hilly’s will cure your blues, and if you’re still wound up when we get home… ”

“Mhmm,” I purred and unlinked from him. “But listen, you can’t go out like that.” I looked at him as he went to reach for his keys.

“It’s like 96 degrees out, Drew, not even the wind can mask that heat…” He practically whined. “I ride the bike shirtless all the time, it’s fine.”

“Nope. I don’t care about your chest, Silas.

You’re giving everyone a free show,” I said with a smile, pointing to his dick pressing against the soft gray material.

He looked down and back up at me. The last thing I needed was the urge to deck Kayla if she even so much as made a passing comment about him in those sweatpants.

I hadn’t officially quit because I was still nervous about not having a plan B and screwing myself out of a decent job out of pure, childish jealousy would be stupid. Very, very stupid.

Silas tilted his head at me, a smirk forming on his face causing me to roll my eyes knowing the comment that was coming next.

“Oh she’s jealous…” he stalked back to me, spinning his keys around on his fingers and letting them fall against the back of his hand only to cup my face in both palms. His nose brushed against mine and I surged forward to take a kiss without asking but he moved back with a serious look on his face.

“I’ll change,” he whispered, “but I want to commit this expression to memory because jealous Drew…” his eyes flickered from mine to my mouth, “is my new favorite.” His smile was so bright it showed all his perfect teeth and blossomed lines around his eyes as he kissed me once, slowly and carefully.

“Not jealous,” I called out to him as he jogged to the bedroom. “Protecting your modesty!” I said and heard him laugh wildly from the hall.

When he returned I was still sitting on the counter, staring at the wall trying to keep my mind out of the dark corners. He was wearing a pair of shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt that hung off his frame and gave easy access to his torso, his graying hair pushed off his head with a hat.

“Better?” He asked with a smile.

“Better.”

I had no clue where we were going and I didn’t really care.

With my arms wrapped around Silas and my face pressed to his back I let the wind from the highway drown out everything.

He was right, a ride would clear my head.

There was no nagging voice when I was on the bike, just the hum of the outside world whipping past us as we sped around the outskirts of town.

My fingers curled against his stomach, beneath the fabric of his shirt and I felt him tense as he took the corner that leads back down toward Hilly’s.

I noticed Kayla’s car in the parking lot when we pulled in and before I could follow him, he slipped off the bike. “I’ll get the ice cream, stay here.” He pointed at me in warning.

“Silas." I grabbed the back of his shirt and held on until he turned to look at me. "If Kayla flirts with you all bets are off.” I glared at him and he laughed, reveling in the jealousy that poured from me.

“I’ll be good, baby.” He winked, pointing at the bike to get me to sit back down and I let go.

I felt like a child. I wasn’t going to do anything even if Kayla decided to cross a line.

But I was also a little disappointed that I’d miss the look on her face when she realized that Silas and I had shown up together.

Silas took longer than expected but he returned with a cone for himself and a paper bowl for me filled with strawberry ice cream and chocolate flakes. I was leaned up against his bike picking at it, the creamy consistency melting against my tongue with each quiet bite.

“We know why I needed a ride on the bike, why did you?” I asked him finally and he paused the assault on the waffle cone to shrug at me. “Don’t shrug, answer.” I pushed gently, knowing that I had very little right to do such a thing given how hard headed I could be about discussing my feelings.

“Cael said something to me the other day that’s chewing away at me,” he admitted. “In not so many words, he suggested that I need to find myself. But I don’t know what that looks like anymore.”

“What did it look like before?” I asked him, trying to help him the way he’s helped me.

Silas scratched his eyebrow, his hat ending up lopsided on his head as he thought about the question. The ice cream I hadn’t finished was starting to melt in the paper bowl and was turning into a soupy, sugary mess as I waited for him to answer.

“You said that you didn’t want baseball to be your answer, that you chose differently than your father and grandfather for a reason.” I said when he went quiet. “What’s stopping you?”

Silas chuckled, fixing his hat and squinting at me in the sun. “How do I trust anyone anymore?” He asked me and it hit like a ton of bricks against my chest. “My entire life was curated so I could carry on some legacy, a family name that meant something and now…”

I set the bowl on the seat of the bike to listen to him while he worked it out for himself. It was rattling to know the man of stone was made up of nothing more than thousands of tiny cracks, waiting to be picked at, seconds from crumbling into dust.

I knew the feeling.

“It means nothing, he made sure of that when he destroyed our lives and here I am still trying to recover from his mistakes to right the wrongs of my father. He doesn’t deserve salvation,” Silas frowned. “But it’s the only path that saves the Nest, that keeps the team together.”

“That’s not true,” I argued, shaking my head gently and stepping into his space with a napkin, the remainder of his stupid bright orange ice cream melting down his hand as he vented.

I ran the napkin up his wrist slowly, cleaning his skin from the sticky mess he had made.

“If it was, I wouldn’t be here. You saw a solution to your problem, a way to cut your father out of the equation and save your home.

You did it your way. Even if it meant doing it in the most dramatic fashion.

” I said to him, not looking him in the eye but focusing on his hand.

“And for the record,” I cleared my throat as it started to get tight. “You saved more than just the Nest.”

Silas tensed as I pulled away my arm to put the napkin in the garbage and to give him some space but his hand caught my wrist and pulled me back against his chest. Without a word his mouth was on mine and his fingers were in my hair tugging tightly to keep me as close as possible.

He was funneling every ounce of himself through our connection, it tingled like being too close to a bonfire and left me breathless in his arms.

“What was that for?” I swallowed hard, trying to inhale as he pulled away.

“I like when you’re honest with me,” he whispered, his eyes focused on mine and his hand still wrapped around my neck, “lets me know where I stand.”

The look in his eyes terrified me but it also left a last electric feeling that coursed down my spine and made me feel alive in a way I’d never felt.

I was falling in love with Silas Shore and I didn’t know how to stop it.

His attention was like quick sand and suddenly the idea of being suffocated by him was intoxicating.

“You taste like orange soda and black licorice.” I whispered, choking down all the other words I wanted to say as I licked my bottom lip. Silas’s grip loosened and that soft, smug smile returned without effort to his handsome face.

A loud crash came from the dumpster beside the building and I turned my head in his hand to see Kayla standing there looking pissed off. If glares could kill, I’d be dead.

“I think I just got fired,” I giggled, as he pressed a kiss to my jaw either completely oblivious to our audience or purposely adding fuel to the fire.

“Good,” Silas hummed, his fingers dug into my skin, turning my face back to his so he could continue to kiss me without a care in the world.