Page 53 of True Honey (The Hornets Nest #4)

SHORE

I stood in the dugout listening to the stadium explode as Van crushed a ball to the right field. Perfectly sending it out of play and bringing Josh and Louis home. I should have been elated but all I could think about was Drew.

Under me, over me. The thought of her was consuming.

I had almost told her that I loved her.

I couldn’t figure out when it happened or why, but the words had been on the tip of my tongue that night at the hotel. Only silenced by my fear of her running if I said them.

“Si!” A voice barked at me and I looked up to see Dean shoving a Portland player on his ass.

I rushed out after Arlo, who was trying to keep anyone from throwing a punch but Van is too fast and his fist connects with Keller's jaw. They’re shoving and screaming without reason over a misstep and a shove.

Louis was trying to reason with Otis who played catcher for Portland and had his meaty hands tangled into the front of his jersey.

Collected from more than one source of hollered insults it seemed the fight had started because Louis ran over Otis at third.

“Put him down, Otis!” I cracked, stepping between them. Louis scrambled backward. “You were on the bag, what did you expect!?” I shoved him backward, “get back to your dugout.”

“Fuck you, Shore!” He stepped forward but Van had gotten loose of the ump and Ryan. Jensen grabbed the back of Otis’s jersey, Van dropped his shoulder and knocked him into the dirt with a massive thud.

“Get Mitchell off the field now!” The Ump barked.

“Jensen don’t you dare!” Ryan’s voice boomed as he went to block Van’s body from another Portland player.

Jensen, the idiot that he was, didn’t listen and before he could be stopped, he drove his knee into the players stomach.

“Get off the fucking field!” Ryan snapped and Jensen rose both hands in the air with a wicked, flushed grin on his face.

I hauled on the back of Van’s jersey, ripping it at the shoulder but not doing anything to keep him from pounding Otis into the clay. It took both Ryan and I to get him on his feet and backward enough for him to listen to orders.

The jersey hung from his massive frame and he pointed across my shoulder with a hate-filled expression. “You’re twice his fucking size Otis, that was a dirty fucking play!” He spat at him and Otis flipped him off.

“Hey!” I scrambled to get control as Van surged forward, “go before you get suspended.”

Van’s eyes never left Otis as he allowed me to walk him backward. Everyone in the stands was standing and watching the sudden blow up. The tension between the two teams was too high; they weren’t going to make it through two more games. Not if they kept on going into them so aggressively.

I followed the three ejected players through the tunnel back to the locker room as Ryan figured out how to finish the game short of his best players.

Van tried to argue, ripping the shreds of his jersey off and throwing it in the garbage with a thud.

“It’s bullshit!” He whirled on me and I put my hands up, staring at him until he got control of himself.

“Sorry, Doc.” He inhaled slowly and I watched as his shoulders relaxed.

“They do that to Lou all the time,” he said, “and they always get away with it because he can’t explain himself! ”

“Louis is fine because he has you guys, but starting fights this late in the season over something so trivial is pointless and it’s going to screw the whole team.

If you get suspended, even one game.” I looked around at the three of them, “that puts Keith in left field and that’s a massive pocket.

” I warned him with an even tone. It would be much nicer than how Ryan would deal with him later.

It was a stupid explosion but Van couldn’t help it, the entire team was a powder keg.

Jensen was nursing a set of bruised knuckles next to Dean.

“You’re a dumbass, you’re acting more like Arlo everyday.” I pointed at him.

“That team is out of line,” Dean snapped back and I glared at him. On any other day he’d be cowering but he squared up and it only infuriated me more.

“Settle down, Tucker,” I snarled. “I am not in the mood for your confidence.”

“Whatever Doc, we’re going to win this series and never have to see their faces again, I don’t regret hitting anyone.” He argued.

“Of course you don’t because you don’t see the consequences of your meathead actions. You think Keith in left is bad? Imagine Matheson on first!” I snapped. “Do you want to lose this series over a bench brawl? Smarten up!”

That was it, I couldn’t take them anymore. I took off down the hallway toward the front offices and grabbed my keys. Ella could handle the last inning on her own, I needed to get out of here before I said something I didn’t mean to a bunch of stressed out kids.

I guess I’m more like Charles than expected.

I had three missed calls by the time I slipped off my bike in the Nest drive way but I didn’t care.

It rang again while I was holding it in my palm and Harbor Correctional flashed across the screen.

“Speak of the devil,” I swore and shoved my phone away and went in search of the one person I knew could make it at least a little better.

She was sitting at the counter on her phone, her hair falling over her face and I couldn’t help myself.

I wrapped my arm around her and pressed my face between her shoulder blades just to be able to breathe.

“Oh,” she squeaked, wrapping her arms around mine. “There’s still an inning, why are you here?” She whispered.

“They didn’t need me,” I lied.

“Hmm,” she hummed, clearly questioning the legitimacy of my statement. She tapped her hand to the top of mine and I released her gently. “What actually happened?” She asked.

“I blew up on Dean.” I stepped back and closed my eyes, feeling her eyes on me helped to slow my racing heart. “There’s so much happening and he did something stupid… it might cost them everything.”

“Sounds exhausting,” she offered with a gentleness I wasn’t expecting.

“It is… I am.”

“How about a drive?” She suggested next and I opened my eyes to take her in.

“You know what… yeah.” I nodded. “Where’s Auggie?”

”In his room with Red,” she said, looking confused.

“Get him too, we can steal the fastback,” I declared, pushing a smile on my face for her. She stared at me for a second, skeptical but wandered away to get August moving. We were halfway to Pittsburgh when she finally questioned what the hell we were doing.

“Going to a Reds game,” I said, turning off the highway. August snorted at his mother's expression from the backseat.

“Are you serious? I said drive, Silas. Not a road trip,” Drew gasped as she took in the signs.

“Stadium is closed tomorrow, neither of us work and Harbor was too loud,” I said with a groan. The responsibilities that fester there are suffocating me, one at a time. I can’t breathe. “There was no reason we couldn’t.”

“None of us brought clothes Silas,” she reminded me.

“This is my selfish act for the day,” I said and that was all it took for her to understand.

She went quiet but her eyes spoke a hundred different concerned words.

For the first time in months I felt bad for pulling her into all of this, regret stung like a hundred paper cuts.

I opened my mouth to say something, to apologize maybe but she looked at August in the backseat and smiled.

Warmth blistered at the edges of my frustrated thoughts, consuming the shadows in bright light.

It would be easy enough to go back to being a mess later, for now I was going to forget it all.

I pulled us into the Pittsburgh stadium an hour later, and with only ten minutes to spare before first pitch.

August was the first out of the car, his excitement was infectious.

For a kid that had never shown interest in baseball he sure had started to care a lot more lately.

I bought him a Reds jersey against my better judgment and got Drew a cute white Pittsburgh hat that fit down over her head perfectly.

I had to resist any sort of physical contact and even though August had a clue of what was happening.

I wasn’t going to go against Drew’s wishes until she could find a way to have the conversation with him herself.

Until then, I sat next to her in the middle of a sea of pirate jerseys with my hand pressed against her thigh, hidden out of August’s sight and soaked in one evening of feeling normal .

No one here knew who I was, no one cared.

The air smelled like hotdogs, peanuts and stale beer.

Drew kept looking over at me as the game went on but never said anything about my mood.

“He’ll throw a cutter,” I said to August who was grinning ear to ear with a bundle of french fries between his teeth.

“How do you know?” He asked in grumbled English.

“Singer sinks into them sometimes to throw off the batter, he throws a lot of sliders and sinkers. Changing up his routine keeps people on their toes and usually results in an easy out,” I said, and watched the field.

Drew’s fingers tickled against my side in approval and I relaxed against the feeling of her as Singer threw the pitch and the ump called the out.

“You’re good at that,” August said, sipping on a drink bigger than his head.

“It’s my job,” I laughed.

“I thought you were a doctor,” he snipped.

“I am, but I’ve spent a lot of time watching baseball. Once you know how a person operates it’s not hard to figure out their next move.” I explained. “Players are creatures of habit, they’re always going to resort back to what they know.”

“I like stars better,” August grumbled. “Less complicated.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Kid.” I agreed.

Drew snorted at his nonchalant response and leaned on her elbow into my space as she watched the game.

With August’s eyes on the game I used the opportunity to kiss her on the head and inhale her into my lungs momentarily.

I wasn’t sure I could ever thank her for the day, she had no idea how much her willingness to just go meant today.

She waited patiently through every inning and when the game was done I took us for dinner.

She argued when I suggested staying in a hotel overnight but she was vetoed by August who found out about the two water slides at the pool.

Perched on the edge of the bed she flipped through the pay-per view movies mindlessly as he changed into a swimsuit we’d bought him on the way over.

She gave him a list of rules and I waited patiently on the other side of the room but as soon as August was out the door, I curled around her and pressed my lips to her neck.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked after a second. “We’ve been running a lot and it’s not exactly your M.O.”

I chuckled, breathing her in and matching my breathing to hers.

“Silas,” she whispered, trying to encourage the answer out of me.

“I’m okay, Drew.” The words came out shaky and I hated myself for it when her gaze tilted down to me.

“You don’t have to be,” she said in a small voice, “it’s okay if you're not.”

“I’m okay,” I repeated to her, each time I believed myself a little less. My fingers dug into her and without words she pulled me into her lap.

My knees hit the floor as my face tucked into her stomach and I wrapped my arms so tightly I felt her tense.

I hid my face, unsure what she’d catch if she took a look at me but knowing nothing good would come from it.

I let the panic settle at the base of my chest willing it to fade away into nothing but a dull thrumming as Drew pushed her fingers through my hair.

I sat on my knees between her legs trying to get control of myself for too long, I could hear my phone vibrating across the room where I left it.

Everyone wanted something from me and I was starting to feel the effects of it.

My patience was waning, that much was evident in the way I treated the boys today.

Yelling wasn’t my style, and I had taken out my frustration on them without warning. Shit.

Drew waited patiently for me to relax and when I finally looked up at her she was staring down at me with an understanding expression that I probably didn’t deserve.

“What happened today?” She asked carefully.

“Classic case of trying to do everything for everyone.” A halfhearted smile formed on my face and Drew’s fingers traced the curve of my bottom lip. My phone rang again.

“You should answer that,” she whispered.

“No, that's exactly why I needed out, no matter how many times I answer it, no matter how many fires I put out. It won’t stop ringing,” I sighed.

Her hands cupped my jaw and her nails raked through the scruff as she tilted my head up to look at her.

Without words she leaned down and kissed me, it was gentle, simple in the best kinds of way.

Like rain after the hottest day or fresh snow.

It was enough to push back everything and I realized in that moment where she went when she was hiding.

It was nice there, dark and cool, away from the rest of the world.

Drew pulled back and I lifted up chasing the feeling of her lips for one more second of calm. She hummed but obliged the follow up with the same softness she had shown before.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For just going with it.”

I wanted to tell her everything, her expression begged me for it but what I wanted to say and what she wanted to hear were two very different things.

I wanted to tell her how much I hated putting her ring on my keys anytime she didn’t need to wear it.

How much I hated not being able to kiss her whenever I needed one.

How real everything had become.