Page 32 of True Honey (The Hornets Nest #4)

SHORE

D rew carried a tray of coffee in her hand and I followed behind with a bag of food, my feet practically dragging on the tile floor of the hospital.

My feet dragged across the hospital tile, my heart hammering against my ribs.

I was completely consumed by my guilt and I wasn’t exactly sure how coming here would go but Drew was determined and her leverage was solid.

Cael was still in the same room, but when we arrived his bed was empty. I stepped into the room in front of Drew, Arlo was slumped against the wall with his eyes closed and Ryan was sleeping in the chair with his head resting over the back of it.

“Ar.”

Arlo’s eyes opened slowly at the sound of my voice and his jaw tightened but he pushed off the wall and walked toward me. I half expected him to hit me when his hand tangled into the collar of my shirt, I flexed, bracing for the impact but he just stared at me.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he asked, his voice low to not wake Ryan.

I swallowed tightly. “Taking care of everything else, it’s not like you two wanted me here. Having Riona call was cold .”

“You spent way too much money on all that education to be this stupid,” Arlo snapped. “She called because Ryan is a mess and I don’t have my fucking phone.”

“Where’s your phone?” I reached up and uncurled his hand from my shirt, taking a step back to breathe.

“I chucked it out the Fastback window—it wouldn’t stop buzzing,” Arlo muttered with a pissed-off look on his face.

His tongue brushed over his bottom lip. “He’s going to be okay Si,” he assured me.

“He was lucid enough to fight with Clementine when she wouldn’t give him one last joyride before surgery. ”

“He said that?”

“Yeah, in front of his dad and about three nurses just trying to get him out of the room.” Arlo shook his head.

I smiled, cursing myself for missing the look on Ryan’s face when it happened.

“He made that one and about nineteen other jokes about his immortality. I swear by the end of this Coach is going to have a head of gray hair.” Arlo looked over his shoulder at Ryan. “Why weren’t you here?”

“When Riona called I just assumed it was because neither of you wanted to talk to me…” I shrugged.

Arlo stared at me with that hardened, confused expression and I, as much as I loved him, sometimes it took him a second to remember that it’s not always black and white.

“You think this is your fault?” He scoffed, stepping forward and grabbing the back of my head to pull us closer together. “This isn’t anyone's fault but that stupid kid in surgery right now. He’s an adult, he had the opportunity to bring this to you, to Ella. And he didn’t.”

“I should have noticed the strain it was taking on his body,” I argued and Arlo’s fingertips tightened around my neck.

“It’s fucking playoffs, there’s strain on everyone and you aren’t a human X-ray machine. The only thing preventing that tear was a permanent spot warming the bench.” He scowled at me, and I knew he was right but it didn’t make it any less hard to hear.

“Even if that was his last inning of ball, the kid went out swinging. The press will be talking about it for weeks and if it kills his career even longer,” Arlo said.

“You know what he said to Ryan before they took him out of here, tears in his eyes from the pain?” He asked and I swallowed tightly, expecting the worst. “He told his dad that playing again didn’t matter as long as he had his family and his sobriety.

He’s here because of you, all that work you did to get him sober without destroying his life.

You fixed every problem in that idiot's life for the last seven years, for once don’t blame yourself for something he knowingly did to himself. ”

I clenched my jaw and tried to process what Arlo had said but the guilt was strong and it would be for a while. Even if it wasn’t my fault. Until Cael was back on his feet, it would run rampant.

“I’ll feel better once he’s home,” I breathed out. Just trying to give Arlo something to run on so he’d stop digging his fingers into open wounds. “I promise.”

He eyed me for a moment but his grip loosened on my head and he stepped back from me with a suspicious look on his face. I know full well that I wasn’t going to get away with that answer for long, so I was going to have to avoid him for a bit to figure myself out.

“Is that for me?” He asked, his head leaning around me to where Drew was standing with her coffee. His eyes flickered with judgement before he said good afternoon to her and thanked her for the coffee.

“Where’s Riona?” I asked.

“Right here,” her voice was like ice as she entered the room. “I had to drop off Daisy with her aunt,” she explained, “in three years she’s never once wanted to do that Cancer walk, I had to bribe her last year and now because of that silly little brown-haired shit head-”

Arlo burst into laughter, his eyes crinkling up as Riona ranted and Ryan was startled from his sleep.

“What the hell is going on?” He sat up in his chair, stretching out his back as Riona wandered to the corner to set her purse down.

“Riona is insulting Drew’s son without knowing it and I’m enjoying the worst cup of coffee I’ve ever drank in my entire life.” Arlo choked it down with a rough cough.

Riona’s eyes went wide as she took in Drew, “I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, if the roles were reversed I would have thrown in a few more choice adjectives,” Drew said, allowing Riona an easy out. “Your daughter is also the only reason my son is up on a weekend and if he doesn’t behave I’ll lock him in his room for a week?” She gave her a weak smile.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, and I’m sorry I insulted him…” Riona crossed the room and held her hand out to her. Drew offered her a coffee but after seeing the face Arlo made, passed on the cup and took the bag of pastries out of my hand.

“How long has he been in surgery?” I asked, stepping back to rest against Drew, grounding myself to her and silently thanking her for the push.

“Half an hour maybe?” Ryan looked down at his watch with a grunt, “Clem should be back soon, I sent her home to sleep a while ago.”

“El?” I asked Arlo.

“She drove Clementine home, and is going to bring her back,” he explained.

There were small moments of brightness in the dark, like Ella finding her confidence to drive again.

It was only occasional and only when she had to, she still used her bike more often than not but she was working toward something and that mattered.

“She’s just keeping herself busy so she doesn’t go insane with worry.”

“Clem will take care of her,” I said to Arlo and he nodded.

Riona grumbled something in response to that as she started to chew down a danish. Ryan pushed from the chair and stretched out what could have only been exhausted muscles.

“Everyone go home, get some sleep.” He looked around the room, old green eyes pausing briefly on Drew before they flickered to Arlo. “You too. He’ll be groggy as all hell, coming out of this and I’m going to need your help in the morning.”

Arlo opened his mouth to argue but got the glare of death and thought better of it.

“One of us needs sleep and some patience or a bum shoulder will be the least of his worries,” Ryan joked, earning a soft laugh from the room.

The look of concern on his face was palpable.

The first time he had injured himself, he had also quit drugs cold turkey and threw himself in a rehab facility.

None of us had to truly survive the tidal wave that was enduring the pain he would no doubt be in when he woke up.

The next week or so would be the worst until the dull sting of metal instruments poking around inside of his muscles and scraping against his bones subsided. I couldn’t imagine how horrible it was going to be without even ibuprofen, but we’ll be lucky if we even get him to take that.

The worry was loud between the three of us, in a deadlock of fear for what was to come when he got out of surgery. Riona cleaned her hands off and cleared her throat after a moment and we all managed to get free of our thoughts.

“Come on, Cap. I’ll give you a ride,” Riona patted him on the shoulder, still referring to him as she always had and ushered him from the room after giving her brother a soft look.

“Silas,” Ryan said as I turned to Drew, she smiled at Ryan and excused herself.

“Yeah?” I twisted back to him and braced for the scolding. It had been awhile since he had been coach and me a player but even I had my moments where Ryan was more father than friend. The look on his face told me that this was one of those times.

“The doctor said that Cael could have torn that muscle reaching for a can in the cupboard, it was as thin as paper when the injury happened. Barely hanging on under his skin. There was nothing any of us could have done to stop it. Do you understand?” He asked and I nodded.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you yesterday, that…

” he paused, struggling with his apology.

“It shouldn’t have happened but I was frustrated and scared .

You were the first person I saw and it just came out. ”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m scared too.”

Ryan inhaled, filling his chest with air before speaking again, “he’s going to be fine.”

“He’s too stubborn to be anything else,” I added as he wandered closer and gave me a pat on the shoulder. I stood with him for a quiet moment, the both of us taking the chance to settle our heart rates in the silence.

Ryan Cody never got enough credit for wrangling all of us.

Lorraine was often the forefront of conversation when it came to her instincts and our upbringing within the Nest. But Ryan had watched us grow from the dugout, he’d watched boys come in and out of that locker room each one coming in a boy and leaving a man.

He wasn’t always eloquent with his words or loud about his love but he had always protected us from the monsters in the dark that none of us could see.

Raised us to know how to fight them when he wasn’t around to do it.

He’d stumbled with Cael—but raising your mirror is the hardest thing a man can do.

And unfortunately, Cael was running around in the world with the heart of Lorraine completely unprotected and unaware of how much it hurt Ryan every time he was in pain.

“I’ll stop by the office, grab your duffle before I come back in the morning. Do you need anything else?” I asked him.

“A fucking vacation,” Ryan joked.

“After playoffs,” I smiled. Backing away to where Drew stood in the doorway. “I’ll pay for the plane ticket.”

Ryan shook his head, waving me off. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

By the time we get back to the apartment after running some errands and stopping at the stadium for a bag of Ryan’s things, the Nest is full again and everyone is upstairs making noise.

There’s a massive banner on the kitchen table that Dean had started to paint for Cael’s return and Drew giggled at the sight of it.

“He’s got the artistic skill of a toddler,” Arlo scowled, staring at it. Ella was tucked in his arms with her back against his chest, staring at it with her eyebrows scrunched together.

“But it’s so cute, and telling him would break his heart,” Ella said. “I still have my birthday one rolled up in the room. I’ll treasure it forever,” she laughed.

Drew’s stomach grumbled from beside me and I looked over at her. “I guess we should get food…” I said, completely forgetting about it in all the commotion.

“You two go, Auggie is two hours into an intense Mario Kart tournament with the boys, I’ll make sure he gets some pizza,” Ella said with a smile, pointing to the couch.

There was a pile of boys spread out across the living room, August sitting in the middle with a hardened concentrated look on his face.

Red, that stupid asshole cat, was sprawled out across the back of the couch with Josh’s fingers pressed into its ratty fur.

It stared at me like it could see into my soul and it gave me the heebie-jeebies.

That cat was absolutely going to murder me in my sleep.

“Is that?” My eyes looked over the rest of the room, landing on a dark-haired girl with a massive smile on her face before turning back at Arlo.

“No idea how that fucking idiot pulled her,” he shrugged. “Apparently getting half naked in the middle of playoff games is the new flirting.”

“You should try it on your next girlfriend,” Ella teased and Arlo dug his fingers into her sides making her laugh loudly.

“How about I try it on my current girlfriend,” Arlo teased as we turned our attention back to the living room.

Adeline Sarah was sitting at Jensen’s side laughing loudly and by the looks of things she was winning the race they were in the middle of and Van was screaming about her cheating while Josh watched on in amusement at Dean's misfortune with red shells.

“Good for him,” I said with a smile. Drew looked hesitant to leave August for a split second but I pressed my hand to her back and she shifted her gaze to me. “We can order something?” I asked her and she nodded.