Page 29

Chapter 28

Dani

“Everything looks to be healing wonderfully, Mr. Jones,” the audiologist notes in a satisfied tone. When he pulls out the otoscope out of my ear, I shudder a little. “The fluid buildup is completely gone, and the antibiotics cleared the infection nicely.”

I still can’t get used to this new name.

‘ Paul Jones’ doesn’t fit me at all, but I guess that is the point…

“Would you say the tinnitus has improved since the last time we saw each other?” the doctor asks while he puts the instrument aside and goes to sit back in his chair.

“It comes and goes. Not as often as it did a month ago,” I say, anxiously fiddling with my hands in my lap. Ever since I started wearing my nails long and painted with all sorts of 3D art on them, it became a habit for me to tap them together to soothe myself. I don’t know why hospitals make me so damn nervous. Dr. Rose and the team here have helped me so much in the past three months, but it always feels like I’ll get some horrible news coming in. “I hear whispers a lot better in that ear, too.”

“That’s very good,” he says, smiling, and taps his fingers on the keyboard behind his computer. “The hearing should continue to improve. I can’t tell you how much of it will return, but you seem to be heading in a positive direction. Your balance was great when we did the test.”

It’s true that I’ve gotten used to everything better than I would’ve expected. I guess it comes with just being grateful I’m alive. Everything else became…sort of secondary.

“I bought a white noise machine like you recommended,” I say, remembering I wanted to mention it. The doctor raises his eyes from the computer screen with a happy wiggle of his brows. “It makes falling asleep much easier when the tinnitus hits me.”

That and Kobe’s snoring, for some silly reason.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he says. “We’re heading in a really good direction, Mr. Jones. I will see you for a checkup in about a month and a half again.”

Nodding with a thankful smile, I shift in the seat, waiting for the audiologist to finish his notes, and set up another appointment. When I get up, ready to walk out, he stops me.

“Oh, almost forgot to say,” he blurts, making me turn in the door. “I love your eyeshadow! Meant to compliment it the last time we saw each other.”

I blink in surprise. “Th-thanks.” I put a little more effort into it today. The bronze and gold all across my lid are blended halfway to my eyebrows. I’m a simple man; I love the sparkle. I blended the black cat-eye liner out just a bit to hold everything together and added some light peach color underneath and in the corners of my eyes. “I appreciate that,” I add quickly, so that he doesn’t think I’m uncomfortable by his praise. We share a friendly handshake before I walk out.

Even now, I get so flustered about it. I spent so long with Jasper ridiculing me for wanting to wear makeup and making me feel it was something shameful, something to be hidden… I finally feel confident and supported to express myself, but that hint of insecurity is still there.

Closing my eyes, I try to shake that sensation, just like I do every time the past tries to creep into my head and take hold. What’s important is the here and now. Like Kobe sitting in the waiting room ahead, and the way his face lights up the moment he notices me coming through the hallway.

I smile back at him, my heart fluttering.

“All good?” he asks as he stands up. Before I can even nod, he reaches for my hand, like he always does. It sends a wave of heat through my cheeks every single time.

“You really didn’t have to come here with me. Just to wait around.”

“I know. I wanted to,” he says, his voice all smooth and buttery. God, I hate how much I love it. What it does to me.

“The doctor complimented my make-up,” I mention as we head out. Without Kobe, I would’ve gotten lost in the convoluted maze of the hospital.

He widens his eyes in an exaggerated excitement. “As he should! You’re nearly a professional, after all. I told you—today is going to be great. You look great, the appointment went great, and you’ll do great on your first day in your new job.”

Smirking, I try to move away when Kobe attacks me with a kiss, but don’t fight him too hard. It’s still a little difficult for me to get used to how disgustingly sweet he’s being. At the beginning of our relationship, Jasper showered me with gifts and praise, but it felt completely different from this. Performative.

Kobe, on the other side, is just…such a cute dork.

“Working at a make-up counter in the mall hardly makes me a professional,” I mutter.

“They gave you the job for a reason,” Kobe keeps arguing against my negative self-talk. “They liked your skill and your portfolio. And you’ll do some proper courses soon enough. So stop doubting yourself.”

A corner of my lip tugs upward. “I can’t believe you let me put make-up on you,” I say, all giddy at the memory. If it weren’t for Marci and Kobe letting me practice on them and showing those pictures at the job interview, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the position.

Kobe lets out a melodic laugh. “I looked stupid. Well, I looked good , because you do it so well, but I don’t think I’ll start wearing make-up anytime soon.”

I just stare at him, marveling at that light, soft attitude of his. Would Jasper have ever let me do that? I doubt it. Not even if my life depended on it. Every time I compare him and Kobe, I feel guilty. My chest tightens because of what happened, of what I did, and it hurts because each time I compare Jasper to Kobe, I can’t believe what a fool I was. The things I accepted as normal…

“Hey,” Kobe whispers, snapping me back into reality. His caring brown eyes with that pretty, mossy ring of green fixate on me. We’re almost out of the main entrance and heading for the car park. “What’s with that face, huh?”

“I’m just nervous,” I say with an unsure smile. “I worry I’ll…slip up, or something. Say something wrong. Do something wrong. I’ve never had a normal job.”

Kobe tightens his grip on my hand. “I know.”

“But I’m excited, too,” I add quickly, so that he doesn’t stress about me so much. And it’s true. I am excited. This new beginning feels good.

“You’ll be great at it. Trust me. You’re amazing with people. You just…need to make sure you don’t overplay your hand,” Kobe remarks while sitting down in our car.

With a confused frown, I pause in the door.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask as I sit down in the passenger seat, chuckling nervously.

Kobe purses his lips and flashes me that mischievous glance of his. He’s teasing me. “Ah, you know…you have this aura about you. Certain…flirty, alluring quality that might get misinterpreted,” he says, using that tone that’s half-playful to not offend me, even though he knows he wouldn’t.

I softly smack his arm with a snicker when he goes for the gear stick.

He grins at me before he turns on the engine and focuses on getting us out. “You know what I mean! You don’t do it on purpose, but the way you talk and move makes everyone think you’re flirting. Like…yeah, like that cashier yesterday! She was basically dripping on her seat by the time you thanked her for the bags and took the receipt from her.”

“She was not!” I blurt out, laughing and playfully poking his shoulder again. “Gross.”

Kobe keeps smirking, creating that cute line running in the middle of his cheek. I can’t see it that well now that he’s growing out his beard, but it suits him, so I don’t complain.

“I guess some old habits are hard to change,” I mutter to myself, sliding down in the seat. I look out to watch the scenery as we drive through the city. Another sunny day. All of them seem to be filled with the sun around here. Sometimes I welcome it, other times the heat is a bit much, but I’m getting used to it.

It doesn’t take long for me to feel Kobe’s hand on my thigh. The first response of my body is tension, but only for a second. Beforehand, with Jasper, this would’ve led only to one thing. With Kobe, his touch is there for support. He touches me only to touch me, softly and tenderly, to show his love, instead of pushing his desires on me.

Half the time, it feels like I don’t deserve him.

The other half, I curse myself for not running away with him sooner. For this kind of love existing out there and me denying it to myself by staying with Jasper out of fear.

“Anyway,” I say, blinking quickly to shake off the negative thoughts. “What about you? Is your back still sore? You don’t have to go to work again today, right?”

“No. Don’t worry, I’m slowly getting used to the physical labor,” Kobe says, sounding light. I’m not sure if it’s only a part of him trying to act tough in front of me, or if he really is more accustomed to the warehouse work. It feels like he’s been working himself too hard these past few weeks. “I’m almost finished with the training for the permit.”

Smiling, I nod when he glances at me. “When we go places, you seem to know your way pretty well now. I can still barely orientate myself. All I know are the directions to the hospital, the shops and the beach.” Getting used to a completely new city on the other side of the country hasn’t been easy, but he’ll be a great taxi driver. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll pass it easily.”

“I’m excited to be able to set my own hours. It’ll give me more time with Skyler. And you,” he adds, squeezing my thigh.

We’re approaching the apartment. Slowly, I roll my head to the side, just staring at Kobe and his perfect profile. His strong jaw and slightly curved nose. More than that, I watch the way the sun reflects in his eyes, and against his shiny hair. He feels exactly like the warm sun to me. Radiating goodness, inside and out.

I close my eyes briefly, drawing in the faint scent of wet pine cones. He hasn’t taken suppressants since being in the hospital after everything that went down. After being discharged, he never resumed taking them. Said he doesn’t need it anymore.

I’m glad. I love being able to sense his pheromones. And it makes his heat that much more entertaining.

When I open my eyes again, he’s studying me. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks with a faint, uneasy smirk. Just as he says it, we park.

I lean in and brush one of his curls out of his face, softly grazing his cheekbone with my fingers. “Mhm…the beard really suits you, you know? You should keep it,” I say, maintaining intense eye contact as I do.

I feel his breath hitch through the touch and watch him gulp as he widens his eyes. “This…is exactly what I was talking about earlier,” he mutters, averting his gaze in that astonishingly adorable way. “You better not praise people’s looks after you do their make-up with a tone like that.”

The smile I’ve been restraining takes over. Playfully, I press my teeth into my bottom lip and brush that strand of hair behind his ear, waiting for Kobe to collect himself and look back at me. When he does, I lean in closer. “Don’t worry. That tone is reserved only for you, sweetheart.”

Seeing him so flustered is a balm on my soul.

Kobe pulls me in for a deep kiss, clearly pleased with that answer. When he moves away, that responsible mask is back on his face, reminding me we can’t just make out in the car. We have things to do. Adult, mature things.

“Come on,” he says, opening the door. “We have time to have something to eat before I’m taking you to work.”

“I can walk there, you know?” I remind him. “You should stay at home and rest.”

“I want to take you,” he argues. With a smile, I relent, accepting his hand as we walk up the stairs.

The apartment building right by the beach is still something I hardly believe we scored. It’s lovely. Not lovely in the luxurious way Jasper’s place was, but in a completely mundane, comforting, everyday sense. There are a lot of students living around, since it’s a short distance to the university campus. They always greet us like we’re just regular people.

They make me feel like all of that shit that happened never did. Like the life Kobe and I have lived, the one these kids can probably hardly imagine, didn’t mark or ruin us.

And the sound of the waves crashing against the sand is so peaceful. It helps me fall asleep almost as well as the white noise machine.

I’ll never stop feeling grateful that the feds didn’t take everything that was mine in the house. Many of the expensive gifts Jasper has given me over the years—the meaningless, soulless tokens of power—helped cover the cost of this place for quite a few months ahead. That way, we can focus on building our new life together, hopefully doing what we enjoy, without stressing about making rent payments.

We step into the apartment and the smell of paint hits me in the face. Kobe and I share a knowing smile. After passing through the hallway and into the living room, I see Marci on the other side by the balcony with a canvas and all her colors spread out on her station.

“Painting again?” Kobe asks lightly.

She turns to us with a grin. “Moving here has seriously been the best thing that could happen for my inspiration,” she says joyfully.

It’s good to hear. Kobe felt so guilty for ripping Marci and Skyler from their home and their lives. But it turns out we all thrive here, though Skyler still has trouble getting used to the new environment. And some of the new people in his life, including me… His school might be great, even better than the last, but the level of special education, activities, and the professionalism of the staff don’t exactly make this move easier for him.

Raising her brows, she glances at me. “Weren’t you supposed to be out?”

“The hospital appointment schedule wasn’t running late for once, so we had some time to stop here and eat,” Kobe says while he walks toward the fridge. I lean into the bar and study Marci’s painting from afar. It’s a sort of galaxy slash ocean inspired swirl…thing. I like it.

“Well, I made a bunch of sandwiches for Sky to have after school. There’s enough for you to have some.”

“You’ve been productive today,” Kobe notes, impressed.

“Thanks, M,” I say.

“You’re welcome, sugar,” she responds, turning to me with a wink. It’s strange each time she calls me that. I feel a little jolt of discomfort when she does, but it quickly gets replaced by a warm sensation in my chest. As warm as her words are. She’s a beta. She has no idea about my scent. Because of her, I might even get used to people calling me that, and think of her instead of all those men in my past.

Kobe and I share a brief glance, acknowledging that fact. When he looks back to her, a plate of sandwiches covered by a foil in hand, he pauses. “Oh, you’ve been swimming again?” he asks, only now noticing her damp hair put up with a hair claw.

Marci sways her hips and nods, showing off the energy surging through her. “Yep! I just love what the sea air does to me. And when I’m in the water…sometimes it’s like I don’t have MS at all,” she muses in a light, sing-songy tone.

I’m glad to see her happy. Because when Marci is happy, so is Kobe.

“Never too late to become a mermaid,” he says, making Marci laugh. She turns back to focus on her painting and I feel Kobe wrap his hands around my waist from behind, kissing me gently on the neck. “Come on, let’s go eat on the balcony,” he whispers into my ear.

I glance down at the plate of four sandwiches he’s holding. They look delicious; filled to the brim with veggies, cheese, and ham. Neither one of us are exactly gifted or motivated when it comes to cooking, so having Marci bless us with her creations is definitely a big plus.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.”

The balcony in our bedroom overlooks the sea and the promenade. It’s by far my most favorite part of the apartment. We bought a rustic little metal table and chairs that fit perfectly and lounge here often in the mornings and evenings. Any chance we get, really. It might get old in the future, but it isn’t anytime soon.

A soothing, peaceful existence… Living in the moment with nothing but the sound of the waves and the person I care about the most next to me. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted without knowing how much I needed it.

Smiling at each other, we sit down. Kobe leans back in the chair, letting out a tired sigh as he bites into the sandwich. The sun doesn’t feel as hot anymore, pleasantly tickling at my skin. I’ve gotten a bit of a tan since we’ve been here, though I’m not sure if it suits me or not. It at least gives me an excuse to buy more shades and kinds of foundation.

I pull out my phone while eating and scroll on the Gram. Mostly, my feed consists of a ton of make-up artists, but there is one person whose posts I look forward to seeing. A smile creeps up on my lips as soon as I see her new post. It’s a picture of Sadie and her kid all messy from face painting. Her wide, toothy smile is so bright it’s almost like she could be here next to me, and I can hear her laughter echo in my head.

“What got you so giddy?” Kobe asks with interest, cocking his brow at me from across the table.

I blink up, smirking. “Sadie’s post.”

“Ah. I’m glad you’re still keeping in touch . Is she doing okay?”

“Yeah,” I mutter, looking at my phone with a slight sense of melancholy in my chest. Things like the inconspicuous emoji under her photo that mean something to only the two of us is how we communicate now. “She started that pole dance training business I told you about. It looks like it’s going well.”

Jasper might be dead, and most of the organization locked up for the foreseeable future, but nobody is playing when it comes to safety. The feds couldn’t arrest everyone. There are still those who could have lingering loyalty to Jasper. These stupid new names, new identities, us moving across the country…it all took a lot of effort from a lot of people, so we’re serious about it. Unfortunately, that means keeping in direct contact with Sadie isn’t safe, were someone looking for revenge diligent enough to try to find us.

But…we can do this . Put out posts and pictures and little hints that only Sadie and I recognize that let both of us know that we’re doing okay and thinking of each other. Maybe one day, we can see each other again. Hopefully, soon.

Until then, I’m content watching her life from afar. I wish her and the other dolls the same happiness I’ve found.

I shift on the chair and set my phone on the table with a sigh. As I bite into the sandwich that melts in my mouth with a satisfied groan, I notice Kobe has finished his. Spreading out his legs, he doesn’t say anything, but his eyes beckon me closer.

Smirking, I put the food down. I’m not that hungry, anyway.

“You want a cuddle, don’t you? God, you’re so needy,” I say with a playful frown and get up to walk up to him in an intentionally slow, provoking manner. Kobe watches me intently with that cute expression.

I sit in his lap, resting my legs over the flimsy metal armrest, and wrap my arm around his neck. Nuzzling against his skin and taking in his scent, I place a tender kiss there before he pulls me away to press our lips together.

“You know,” he mutters between our kisses, “there are these alphas at work that keep hitting on me.”

With a smirk, I run my fingers from his nape upward, brushing through his hair. It always makes Kobe tremble in the most delicious way. If he wants to tease me, I’m happy to tease him back. “Mhmm, really? I’m sure you can manage to fight them off,” I whisper.

He licks his lips and meets my eyes, a spark of mischief in his gaze. “Well, I don’t really want to draw attention to myself or cause trouble, do I? I thought,” pausing, his attitude shifts to something softer and more honest, so I perk up, “that maybe I could…get a ring. To symbolize that I’m taken,” he says hesitantly while his finger runs up and down my back, almost like he’s trying to soothe himself.

I narrow my eyes briefly, a little taken aback by the sudden suggestion. “I’ve never heard of only one person getting a ring without offering it to the other one.”

His body tenses up underneath me and his eyes dart somewhere across the floor. What is he getting all flustered about?

“I obviously thought of that,” he says slowly, thoughtfully, as his finger traces my spine through my shirt. It ends up rested over my hips, and then he finally looks up to meet my gaze. “But I know how much you dislike the concept of someone owning you or…tying you up into all of that, so I…”

My chuckle of disbelief quietens Kobe. He raises his eyebrows at me with a sharp blink.

You stupid idiot. Stupid, caring idiot.

“I appreciate you giving it a thought, but…I don’t hate the idea itself,” I say. With Kobe, it’s different. It doesn’t feel stifling, like with Jasper or all those men in my past who’ve tried to control or own me. In fact, the idea makes my heart flutter. “More of a sign of devotion than possession. I told you what I did at the beginning because…ah, I guess I had to think that way to protect myself. My independence. My worth. With you…it’s different. Everything’s different with you.”

The way something sparks in his eyes in reaction to my words has me all mushy inside. There’s that shy, careful Kobe again, and he’s insufferably lovable.

Sometimes I have to just stop to reflect on it and how mind-blowing it is. That I’ve experienced everything there is to experience, sexually, and yet every mundane moment with Kobe feels new and exciting and unique.

Like I’m experiencing life anew. Kissing, making love, doing couple things, existing together…all felt for the very first time wholly and truly.

Using his shoulder to prop myself up, I readjust until I end up straddling him. Kobe lets out a surprised huff that quickly turns to a shaky, aroused exhale as we face each other. Putting my arms around his shoulders, I lean in and kiss him. It’s a long, passionate kiss that’s supposed to say how thankful I am for him. For his consideration and thoughtfulness and care.

“I-I should probably buy some rings then, huh?”

I brush my nose against his before teasingly brushing my tongue over his parted lips, not giving him the satisfaction of a proper kiss. “Mhmm… I like silver. Doesn’t have to be the real thing. Anything that looks like silver. Goes better with my skin.” Kobe still seems surprised I’m going with the idea, so I grab a fistful of his hair at the back and hold his head tight, enjoying that little whimper he lets out as we lock eyes. “Got it? We can go pick them together. That way, no one at work will try to flirt with me, either. Everyone’s going to know that we belong together,” I say clearly before finally succumbing to the sweet temptation of his lips.

Kobe makes an amused sound as we make out and he squeezes my ass.

We pull apart to gasp for air and I smirk. “What are you giggling about?”

He licks his lips. “Nothing, just…it reminded me of something Sky mentioned. When we were getting the talk and paperwork for our new identities, he wondered why you and I didn’t get the same surname. ‘You’re basically like a married couple, anyway,’ he said.”

We both chuckle together.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I say playfully.

“Of course. Promise rings. Nothing more.”

His voice is light, but I still can’t help but feel like I insulted him. “Not that I don’t want to. Maybe…in the future.” I can’t believe I’m saying this. I can’t believe I’m liking the idea of being a married couple with Kobe.

“I understand. Only when you’re ready, Dani. If you’re ready. I don’t care. This is all I need.”

Smiling, I blankly look down at his chest.

“It is for me, too. Anyway, um…that’s sweet. That he said that, I mean. I’m surprised he did,” I note.

“Hey.” Kobe holds my cheek in his hand, forcing me to face him again. He already knows what I’m thinking. “How many times do I have to tell you? He doesn’t hate you. He just takes a long time to warm up to people. To believe that they care for him and they’ll stay around. I heard him say he liked the color of your eyeshadow when you were putting it on this morning.”

“That was just some polite small talk.”

“ Na-ah, ” Kobe says with a frown. “Skyler doesn’t do polite small talk . He’s warming up to you. Soon, you won’t be able to shake him off. He’ll be like a freaking dog, following you wherever you go.”

Smiling, I lean closer to Kobe, willing to accept that he might be right. His brother liking me is important to me. Skyler is family now, so I’ll never stop trying to break through his walls, even if it feels impossible at times. It is true that he talks to me more than he did before… At first, he barely looked at me, as if I was some alien intruder in his space. Two people like us, both feeling like we’re inherently unlovable, attempting to connect isn’t the easiest thing, but I’m not going to give up.

“I’ll keep pushing on. Always,” I say with a gentle smile.

All we need is a breakthrough. One special moment. I know it will come…

“Good.”

I join my hands together at the back of his head and tilt mine to the side. Kobe’s eyes fall on my neck, looking like he’s a damn vampire who wants to take a bite. “I always wanted a dog,” I say pensively, shifting my hips slowly against his.

Kobe suppresses a groan behind his clenched teeth before squeezing my ass tighter. We might need to go soon, but there’s no shame in some teasing and getting him excited for when I get back home after work. It’s been so long since I genuinely looked forward to being intimate with someone like this.

“Maybe after our life settles a bit, we could look into that.”

Blinking, I move away from his attempt at continuing, realizing he’s serious. Dammit it. If only we had more time. “Always so eager to please. One of the many things I love about you,” I whisper, putting all my aggression over how damn perfect he is into my kiss. Our tongues dance together. Our scents bleed into each other, accentuating the pleasure.

“Oh? What else do you love?” he asks between breaths.

So cheeky. “Not enough time to go through them.” The urge to keep grinding against him gets stronger and stronger, especially at the sensation of his hardening cock pressing into my lap. With my hands in his hair and Kobe’s beard tickling against my skin, I’m ready to throw it all away and do it right here when a loud whistling sound interrupts us.

Jolting from each other, we both turn toward the promenade. A group of young guys, probably some students living around here, are walking there with surf boards. They wave and cheer at us, whistling with childish excitement at our public display of perversion.

The way Kobe’s cheeks start turning red draws a chuckle out of me. Having a bit more experience with exhibitionism than him, I playfully wave at the guys, who erupt into more laughter and cheering before they disappear behind one of the buildings.

“God,” Kobe mutters, looking down and hiding his face in shame. I laugh at him while biting at the inside of my lip.

Alright, alright. Maybe this is a sign we should stop. For now.

“I’m sorry for riling you up like this. That was highly irresponsible of me,” I say, pulling the hand he’s using as a shield away. When I gently squeeze his hands in mine, Kobe finally meets my gaze, and something about my expression gives him pause. “I am just…really happy, you know?” I say softly. “Genuinely, truly happy.”

Kobe’s gaze softens, to the point I worry it will melt me. “I’m glad to hear that, Dani. You make me happy, too. More than you could ever know.”

I move closer. Not for a kiss, but for a hug. Embracing him tightly until I feel his heartbeat pounding against my chest, I relax into him and close my eyes. The sea crashes gently against the shore in the distance, and for once, I am completely, entirely, content.

I can’t wait for what our life together brings us.