Page 18

Chapter 17

Kobe

I sit down on the bench in the break room, wondering why Jasper has us working such crazy hours recently. There’s a meeting in a few minutes in his office. I don’t know what it’s about, or why I’m even invited. All I want at this point is to go home, but something tells me today is going to be a long day.

Just as I’m about to check out what the guys are watching on the TV to distract myself for a bit, my phone buzzes inside my jacket. I fight hard to suppress the smile that grows the moment I see Apollo sent me a photo.

It’s nothing crazy. A picture of him standing in what I presume is one of those tiny bathrooms downstairs, completely naked in front of the mirror. He’s twisting his waist around to show off his small but extremely lovely ass. My urge to smirk like a teenager who got his first sext intensifies. It’s the second picture like this he’s sent me randomly since we slept together a few days ago. That and some random omega-related memes I would get in the middle of the night sometimes.

I have to stop from thinking about our last time, because every time I remember him riding on top of me, it sends a twitch of arousal through the base of my cock.

As sweet as these messages are, they worry me a bit. I mean…it’s similar to the stuff me and my ex would send each other. I’m unsure where Apollo is going with it. Is it just fun and games to him? Is he bored and that’s it? He can’t share the funny videos about being an omega with Jasper, so is it only that I can relate to him? I’m sure his mind doesn’t make him feel like these little snippets of contact, so mundane yet meaningful, mean more than they do…but mine does.

I inconspicuously take a picture to send back as a proof of how boring my life is compared to his—my boots with some of the break room’s lockers and dirty concrete floor in the background. Then I put my phone on silent, knowing Jasper dislikes the distracting buzzing while he’s talking.

“Hey,” I hear. Lenny is in the door, raising his eyebrows at me. “You goin’ to the meeting?”

I stand sharply. “Yeah, I was heading there.”

He nods, letting me follow him out and to Jasper’s office. The door is wide open, which is kind of unusual. I see a bunch of people there already, and two guards in the hall.

This isn’t one of those meaningless little meetings, is it?

Jasper, who stands leaning against the front of his table, gives everyone a few more minutes to arrive. When there’s about twenty people inside the room, he waves at the guard to close the door. At that very moment, I decide that I very much dislike the atmosphere I’m sensing. It’s like a few of the guys know something the rest of us don’t, and I doubt it’s some pleasant surprise. Definitely not an announcement of a pizza night as a reward for our work efforts, that’s for sure…

I sweep my gaze across those present, quickly realizing that to my best knowledge, the people in this room are the inner circle. Those I heard have worked with Jasper for the longest, and those most reliable. That makes my veins run with ice because…I’m neither of those. I’m still a rookie.

I shouldn’t be here.

Gulping quietly, I looked at Jasper, who’s readying himself to start some sort of speech. His face shows a scary focus as he rubs his palms together.

“As some of you already know, we’ve got a bit of a problem that needs to be dealt with,” he says, resting his hands against the edge of the table. “Our reach and our profits aren’t as great as they could be. There’s a way for this company to go further, and we can’t do that with some rusty ball and chain holding us back.”

Vince, Gibbs, Jones and a few of the big guns make faces I don’t like at all. They’re like fighting dogs eager to be let loose; their eyes dark and set and hungry. The exact same way like Jasper’s has been recently. How long has this been in the works?

“I tried to achieve bigger things the right way, but these old men—still clinging to their position, living in the past and thinking they’re as smart and brilliant as they once were—are unwilling to let the new generation advance. So we’ve got to make our own way. Starting by eliminating my father and taking what’s mine in full,” Jasper says proudly, almost like he’s savoring those words on his tongue.

Widening my eyes, I look around. Some are surprised; those who didn’t know about this plan. I wonder if their hearts pound as loudly inside their ears as my own does, or if this is a normal part of life for them. Something to be expected.

I knew Jasper hated Solomon, but never thought he would—

This is fucking insane.

“My father thinks that I have to wait for him to put the crown on my head when he feels I’m ready . The old man’s wrong. He’s as wrong and inefficient as the rest of them. It’s no longer their time. They refuse to accept that reality and only stand in our way.”

A few affirming, supportive shouts and other sounds of agreement echo through the room. I stare ahead, trying to calm my thoughts and get the tremble pulsing from the center of my chest to stop.

Jasper continues, voice becoming deeper and colder. “I have already established the members who can be trusted, and those who are staunchly loyal to my father. They’ll all be in his house, as will those willing to support me. I’ve calculated every part of this plan and it’s ready for execution. Tonight.”

“Tonight?” someone blurts. For a second I think it has escaped my lips, because it’s the same thought standing at the forefront of my mind in bold red letters.

“ Tonight ,” Jasper says with a firm gaze, tilting his head down at them, the whiteness at the bottom of his eyes showing, making him look even more terrifying. There’s nothing in the world that would stop him or compel him to change his mind.

He must have started planning this months ago. As shocking as it is, telling this plan to more than his most trusted inner circle was the wise decision. With something as massive as this, he couldn’t risk anyone slipping up. People talk. People make mistakes. This way, his victory is almost guaranteed. Solomon Zane knows Jasper is ambitious and dangerous, but I don’t think that even he will expect a ruthless move like this.

“Is everyone okay with that?” Jasper throws the question into the room. Only after I blink and focus my eyes back on him do I realize that he and a few of the guys are looking straight at me.

My body tenses to the point my stomach cramps. “W-Why are you asking me that?” I ask in a small voice. It feels like all of them are a pack of hyenas glaring at me.

Have I just…walked into a trap?

“My father asked you to keep an eye on me, did he not?” I don’t conceal my reaction well enough, making Jasper snort with amusement. “I know about everything that is going on under my nose, unlike him.”

Calm down. You need to calm down.

So that’s why I’m here. Not because he trusts me, but because I need to make a choice. I’m a liability. This way, he’s pushing me to make it. He’s giving me no choice, really. Voicing anything against this plan makes me his father’s supporter. An enemy.

This is the exact bullshit I didn’t want to be put in the middle of. Fuck!

Digging my nails into my palms, I swallow, meeting Jasper’s eyes. “If you know that, then you must know I never informed your father about anything,” I manage to say firmly enough. After all, I’m telling the truth. “Him asking me that made me uncomfortable from the beginning,” I say.

I just wanted to do my work in this goddamn minefield of depravity and violence and provide for my family. And I never asked to be put in the middle of the drama of this dysfunctional one.

Jasper smirks, tilting his head to the side with a chuckle. There is something dark about him as he looks at me. Something unhinged, unpredictable and deeply disturbing that slithers within. All I can do is to stay still and pray I don’t get bitten.

I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack before he finally speaks. “I’ll take that as reaffirmation of your loyalty,” he says, throwing his car keys at me.

I barely catch them, still half-believing I will end up dead. Skyler and Marci keep staring at me in my mind, faces twisted with betrayal. Reminding me they would never forgive me if I left them alone.

“Yes, boss,” I say, bowing my head in respect, but more so to escape his gaze.

“We’re all set to proceed as planned, then. Unless someone else has any concerns?” Nothing . The room is completely silent. “Good. We’ll leave in ten. Guns are ready. Gibbs and Vince will lead the two clean up groups. Others are in contact with our people on the inside. You,” Jasper continues speaking to me, “will wait in the car with me and Dennis for when things have settled down inside and we gained control of the situation. That’s when we push in to take care of my father.”

Relief washes over me, even if it’s tainted by guilt. He doesn’t expect me to be in there killing people, at least. I don’t know if I could handle that.

I don’t want to be able to handle that.

Going through the motions of what comes next, I feel unsettlingly distant from myself and the world. My fingers tingle while I hold the wheel, driving us to the scene of the upcoming massacre. I don’t dare to go anywhere near the rearview mirror, too afraid of what kind of terrifying beast would peer at me from the backseat.

All I can think about is that I put myself in this position. In the beginning, when I saw the easy opportunity to get money and to not have to slave away in some low-paying job, I knew what the risks were. I knew that the people I got myself involved with, like Mr. Wilson, weren’t good people . And yet, I told myself that it was what I had to do to provide for my family. I was stupid. Young and arrogant. ‘You’ll only be a driver,’ I placated myself.

But now I see the grim truth. Even if I’m only the one driving us there, even if I never fire my gun, I am an undeniable part of it. That blood will be on my hands, too. There is no separating myself from it.

What would Marci think if she knew half of it? Would she say I belong in prison, just like my mother?

“Everything’s in place?” Jasper asks Dennis, who sits next to me. If it were someone else, I would find it strange how cold and unbothered his words are, considering he’s alluding to killing his own father. But this is Jasper Zane. He will let no one get in the path of what he thinks is his, or in the path of power he desires. I see that now. The full extent of it.

Dennis has been staring into his phone the whole ride, and it definitely hasn’t been to watch random videos. He sounds concentrated when he speaks. “Yep. All the diversions have been set. No cops or fire brigade till we’re gone.”

They really thought of everything, huh? The talk of the fire brigade makes me even more nervous than I already am. What is it he’s going to do?

Solomon Zane’s home is far away from anyone to hear any commotion if it happens inside, and the perpetrators aren’t too careless. Such a beautiful mansion on top of a hill with lovely tall trees around it.

I have a feeling that they’ll be soaking up the blood from the ground by the end of the night.

As we drive up the windy road towards it, I wonder about stupid things—maybe to stop myself from thinking about worse. Things like if Jasper grew up here? Did he spend years in the halls of the house he is sending his men to desecrate? Is there really nothing at all going on in that dark heart of his? No doubt or pain or regret?

Tentatively, I glance into the mirror and see him look out of the window, with a face as if we’re taking a nice evening ride. I don’t think there is anything there. And that makes me so worried. For myself, others, even for Apollo. For the future.

He orders me to park near the brick wall running around the mansion’s garden and steps out. So does Dennis. Neither of them tells me to follow, so I stay put, being nothing more than what I am; a driver.

Just a part of this jagged puzzle.

Other cars arrive right outside the entrance gate. Facing the mansion, Jasper is on the phone with someone. Tightening the wheel until the leather squeaks underneath my grip, I watch breathlessly because that’s all I can do. I know things are in motion already.

First, the power goes out inside the house. Jasper’s men move in. I hear the shots, muffled and distant, but they make me jerk all the same.

Time gets twisted. Even when I glance at the digital clock on the car’s dash, I can’t quite comprehend how long it’s been. Jasper sits on the hood of the car, his back to me. His posture is upright, his head held high, and his arm firmly holds the phone to his ear.

Flashes appear in windows every so often, coupled with the indistinct sound of suppressed gunfire and then…the lights come on.

I draw in a sharp breath and look down at my cramping hands. While I rub them together in my lap to make it stop, I notice Jasper’s eyes fixated on me, nearly shining in the darkness with their intense blue color.

He jerks his head to the side, indicating for me to get out and follow.

My first instinct is to shake my head. I don’t want to leave the car and see whatever the fuck happened inside. I don’t want to be a part of it anymore than I already am. To this day l have dreams about that girl. The way she looked at me as they dragged her away to cut her arm, use her, and do god knows what else to her…

I still sometimes think about that guy Gibbs stabbed to death outside the car while I waited.

And only recently have I stopped thinking about the man I killed.

But I don’t have a damn luxury of having a choice.

So I get out and follow him. Men stand by the main door, nodding at Jasper victoriously. They’re smiling. Covered in blood and gore…they’re smiling.

There are corpses in the hallway that we have to step over. Jasper doesn’t even glance down at them. I try not to look at their faces too closely, but I recognize two as people I’ve seen around. The rest of the dead bodies aren’t familiar, so our losses were probably minimal. It was a perfectly executed trap. No one saw it coming at all.

As we make our way through the once beautiful manor that used to smell of cigars and wood and now stinks only of death, I catch the scent of Jasper’s pheromones getting stronger.

We reach the room I’ve been in before. The one Solomon Zane invited me into when I first started. The room where he told me about his son and how restless he was.

I see his father tied up on the floor when we enter. Surrounded by Jasper’s grinning goons, he hangs his head down and wheezes. His expensive suit is all wrong and stained with blood, as is his face. I didn’t know him that much, and yet I hate seeing the old man like this.

This isn’t right . Regardless of what Jasper thinks about his way of running things, that man built the empire he will inherit and this…this is all devoid of honor.

It doesn’t matter, though—Jasper is still the one winning. And as a proper winner, he needs to enjoy the main course in full.

“Evening, father,” he says, voice bursting with satisfaction. His steps slow, hands held behind his back, until he stands above his father with a relishing sigh.

Zane raises his head to him, and even with bruises around his eye and on his cheek, there’s something scarily noble and worthy of respect about him. Another emotion is clearly painted on his face—disappointment. Lazily, he scans the room and people in it. Guilt pings inside me when he briefly meets my eyes, as if I could’ve stopped this. As if I was the one standing between this happening and not.

I didn’t betray him. I never promised him anything in the first place, and yet I know this man and his eyes will be in the line of people haunting me in my dreams. People I feel responsible for.

“You foolish, stupid boy.” His voice carries through the room with weight in it. He might be beaten and tied and on his knees, but there isn’t an ounce of fear in Solomon Zane’s words.

“Ha. Look at yourself. Who’re you calling foolish, old man?” Jasper sneers at him, letting out a disgusted chortle.

He laughs in response, shaking his head. No one else seems affected, but I can’t shake the horrible, paralyzing feeling that he let out the laugh a character in a movie does before revealing the heroes had made a terrible mistake that will come to haunt them.

“If only you had the maturity to see how much you’ll regret this choice. If only you understood the complexities of the world. Instead, you’re chasing for nothing but crude power like some mindless, rabid animal.”

Jasper stares at him in silence for a moment, lacking any quick response. His back is to me, so I can’t see what his face says. It can’t be anything good because he pulls out his gun and strikes his father with it against his head. I clench my teeth and hold my breath while Solomon Zane struggles on his knees, grunting, before he slowly rises again.

“You always were a disappointment. A dog that never learns. I am glad your mother died when she did so that she didn’t have to witness her own reflection become this.”

With those words filled with pure loathing, Solomon Zane all but squeezes the trigger himself. Jasper doesn’t hesitate. The safety comes off and the boom of the bullet leaving the chamber follows almost instantaneously.

Jerking to cover my ears, I stare at Solomon Zane’s body hitting the floor, unable to look away. Blood pours out of his head onto the intricate carpet. Jasper’s rich pheromones fill the room like the last roar of victory.

He allows himself two shaky exhales before he settles into that steel confidence again, putting the safety back on and holstering his gun calmly. “Proceed. Burn the place down,” he orders. Everyone snaps into motion.

Jasper walks out of the room and I follow, still trying to gaslight myself into thinking I can be as cold and hard. I have to push all of this away and get it to mean nothing.

We make it to the entrance, where Dennis waits.

“The calling card?” Jasper asks him, pausing in the main door. The men behind us are already dousing everything with gasoline. All the fancy carpets, sturdy, expensive furniture, lovely paintings on the walls…it will all be ash soon enough.

“Got it.” Dennis raises his hand with a bright yellow bandana with a satisfied smirk. I recognize it. It’s a symbol of one of the other gangs. The Yellow Snakes. So they’re going to pin it on them. A retaliation for a deal gone bad, or just another group wanting their place at the top. Either way, the Snakes will be an easy target. An aggressive organization that’s been a thorn in Mr. Wilson’s side, Zane’s, and probably many others’.

Jasper nods. “Make sure it gets found. Regroup at the Dollhouse. Ensure everyone stays on track,” he warns, and I notice the dark aura around him makes even Dennis a little uneasy.

Deep down, every single person here is afraid, and they should be. A man who kills his own father is capable of anything.

“Drive.”

Realizing he’s speaking to me, I tense up. Swiftly, I walk to the car with Jasper close behind me. It’s only the two of us on the way back. Only me and a heartless, vicious beast.

The car feels claustrophobic. My stomach twists and turns, to the point I feel like I might throw up. Not to mention the silence and restlessness of the entire drive to the Dollhouse, which does nothing for my wavering mind.

“Do you know why I had you there?” Jasper asks after a few minutes.

I don’t meet his eyes in the rearview mirror, though maybe I should. He’s speaking to me, but I am too worried to find that gun pointed at me. “I wasn’t sure why you did,” I mutter, hesitant to open my mouth, “sir.”

The low chuckle he lets out echoes in the back of the car like in a cave. If that’s even possible. Maybe I’m just losing my mind.

“You had to be there. Had to see it. That sort of thing really shows you what people are made of. Do they handle it…or crumble? I needed to make sure which one you were.”

Internally, I’m painfully close to crumbling like a pile of dry sand. But he doesn’t know that, right? He can’t see that. I pray he doesn’t.

Tightening my grip on the wheel, I use all my might to appear collected and force myself to meet his eyes in the mirror. He’s waiting for me there, his gaze pinning me down. Breathing through my nose, I do a slow nod, hoping it is enough. Hoping, praying, that Jasper finds me worthy even though I hate everything that’s happened with all my being and want nothing to do with any of it.

It’s better than being dead , I remind myself. And there’s no one to blame but me for the bar being set that low right now.

With a hum, Jasper leans back and stays quiet. He sits there, arms spread out behind the armrests, like a king after a feast. Satisfied.

As we cross the bridge two blocks away from the Dollhouse, I hear multiple fire engines wail in the distance. The sound weakens the further we get, and we both know where those trucks are headed.

“They’ll find nothing but bones and ash,” Jasper mutters to himself contentedly.

I might have dissociated for the rest of the journey. Either way, I barely remember parking or getting out of the car. I follow Jasper around like a shadow, unsure what else to do. Scared to do anything else.

He calls a meeting in the warehouse, where everyone can fit. And by everyone, he means everyone . More people than I’ve ever seen around the Dollhouse combined gather up in the following thirty minutes. They all trickle into the room only to wait there in confusion, chatting to each other about some tragedy having happened.

I do nothing but stand motionless by the flimsy metal table Jasper paces around. I stare ahead, barely blinking, having lost any mental capacity to even wonder what this will lead to.

I just want this nightmare to be over. So that I can go home and hug Skyler tightly, tell him how much I love him. Drink something, probably. Have a cig. A lot of them.

When I notice the few who were at the Zane house acting as if they have no idea what’s going on in front of the others, I know this is far from over. Having filled the empty warehouse with every unsavory character that works for this organization, Jasper stands at the front like an actor on a stage, and he gives the best performance of the night, indeed.

He announces the horrible news of what happened to his father. We had only just driven up there for a meeting when we found the house in flames. Solomon Zane’s dead body laid motionless at the entrance and near it, a striking warning message—a yellow bandana.

I can’t help but be impressed by Jasper’s ability to convince everyone, even myself almost, that he carried deep love for his father, no matter their differences. As he shouts, his words echoing against the concrete walls, I feel his anger. I believe him when he calls for the Yellow Snakes to be brought down for what they did. I believe him when his voice trembles at the mention of his late father. Others do, too.

Just like that, he has the entire organization riled up and motivated, with him as the spearhead on top.

I am horribly, terribly way over my fucking head in this world.

The reality of it hits me with a strength of a boulder. You fucked up, Kobe. This isn’t an action movie you’re watching. It’s really happening and you’re in too deep…

For the first time in my life, I do feel like the small, weak, dumb omega, completely out of place and utterly powerless among the alphas who reel with anger and lust for revenge all around me. My shallow breaths echo in my head. The surrounding sounds come through as if I’m underwater and by god, am I drowning.

I blink sharply at the shadow being cast over me as someone comes up to me. Having to lean back against the wall so I don’t lose my balance, I focus on Jasper.

He approaches like a prowling beast. Slowly, with a fiery intention in his eyes. To my horror, he doesn’t stop at the expected distance one should. Instead, he puts himself so close against me that my breath hitches in my bone-dry throat and my heart skips. Hands in his pockets, he leans in, his lips hovering next to my ear.

“You really should at least act the part,” he whispers, those rough, growly tones from somewhere deep within his chest buzzing through my skull.

I don’t know what to say or do. He can sense I’m struggling with this. I might not be capable of hiding that, but I could make it seem like I am just surprised at his course of action. “Why not tell the truth?” I ask carefully, meeting his gaze. “Wouldn’t that be more of a—”

There it is. Something inside him snaps.

Whatever the color of his eyes could be described as—a bright blue sky, a clear sea water—it turns into prickling ice, frozen and carved to a scalpel-sharp point. His pheromones hit me in the face, filled to the brim with rage and nothing else.

Jasper scrunches up his nose as he pushes his words through his clenched teeth, almost baring them at me like an animal. “You really think you are better than me, don’t you? Deep down, you really believe it, huh?”

The scent grows stronger, so much so I nearly choke up. The surrounding alphas notice. I feel prickly eyes staring down at us, and I can’t move a finger.

But I have to. Fuck, I have to deescalate this somehow.

I open my mouth, but he continues. “Questioning my methods, as if you fucking know what would be the right thing to do. Picking out the one…the exact omega who’s mine, out of all of them, to screw around…” I stare back at him, words stuck inside my throat. My lungs and heart feel like they’re about to collapse. Everything in me screams that I’m in danger. “A sensitive, kind little omega with his sweet little family,” he spits the words out, still under his breath, in a way that makes them sound like a joke. “Maybe you really aren’t made for this sort of life.”

I take far too long to realize it’s not just me reaching my stress level. No, it’s the pheromones radiating out of Jasper as if he’s a broken nuclear reactor that make my vision blur and my stomach upturn and throb.

With a blink, his scent choking me is all I can think about.

It seeps underneath my skin. Makes air unusable. It pushes against my ribs, my throat, pounds against my skull to get it and fill it to the brim until my brain threatens to push out of my ears.

I try to fight against it, holding my breath and clenching my fists, but Jasper stares at me with the cruel determination of a thousand burning suns. I never knew anyone could release this amount of pheromones.

He enjoys it. As I meet his eyes, maybe with some na?ve hope that he’ll stop, I see how much he does. His entire face is lit up with sadistic pleasure. “This is who you are, isn’t it? No matter how hard you try to hide it or make people ignore it,” he says, cutting deep with each whispered syllable.

I start to feel heavy and wrong in myself. As if my own skin is rejecting me. His…no, he—everything that Jasper is, his pure essence—is bubbling inside me, traveling underneath every muscle and around every cell. Nothing makes sense anymore. The more I try to get a grip on my body, the further away I get. Further away into pain and nausea and panic. The horrendous, inescapable panic. A sense of dread like nothing I’ve experienced before.

“Nothing but an omega. Your body and mind are weak. Pathetic. Shattering into a million pieces at the slightest pressure. And your slutty little hole is probably leaking slick right now. One more push and you’ll happily bend over, begging for my cock. All that because of the power I have over you with my pheromones alone.”

Am I hyperventilating? Are my knees still holding me up? I can barely focus my eyes. My mind is folding on itself and Jasper’s voice is all I hear, booming inside my skull, replacing my own thoughts.

I need to make this stop.

He might be right. I might do anything, anything I can, to stop this right now.

The little snort of disgust near my ear somehow tethers me back to reality somewhat. “So I’m warning you…and this is your last warning. You better stop acting like an alpha. Like you have a voice or any real power. Because you ain’t one. You never will be. You’ll never be the role you so desperately try to fit, and that’s why you’ll never have my omega or any other. You’re nothing but an object. A tool. Do you understand?”

Like a zap of electricity passing through me, Apollo’s face flashes in front of my eyes.

This is about him? Fuck, of course this is about him.

Even now, on top of the world, after having achieved the ultimate power move, somehow Jasper still clings to that meaningless insecurity. What a goddamn fool.

My body might feel as though it will collapse on itself any moment, but I still have the capacity to feel righteous anger at his words.

“He…” I have to pause and swallow the saliva nearly dripping out of my mouth. My throat feels so tight, my words come out slurred. “He isn’t yours . He doesn’t want to be mine…or anyone’s.”

Jasper’s brows coming together and his face filling with more rage is the last thing I see before my vision goes out.

For a second, I think I might’ve died. Until I come to on the ground, still where I was, trembling on my knees. No amount of mental willpower can save me from projectile vomiting right next to Jasper’s feet. I keep throwing up, my chest and hands and neck spasming so much I worry I’ll choke.

When there’s nothing left to puke, not even water, I hit my forehead against the floor. I can’t hold my eyes open with how weak I feel. And I’m so damn hot…

Muffled voices sound above me.

I try to focus and get a sharp shard of pain shooting through my head in return.

“The tensions are running pretty high…” someone says. All sound cuts off when I blink, as if my brain shuts down momentarily. “…what happened.”

“...is enough.”

“Whatever.” Jasper . That’s Jasper’s voice. My body constricts painfully in response to it, like a dog jolting at the raised hand of its owner. My balls tug and ache. “Clean this mess up and go home. This is clearly too much stress for your predisposition.” I hear him inside my head again, but I think he’s only bent over to me to say that.

Somehow, I manage to nod.

He must stop releasing his pheromones because, after what feels like hours, I can take a proper breath. Even if the air is so saturated with them that I start coughing.

Steps that I presume to be his get further and further away until he’s gone. The scent of the sea—cold, freezing, burning in my nose—is still all I can smell, but my mind is clearing. I begin remembering there are things outside of it. I remember that my body didn’t always feel this way and that this isn’t right. The fact that I do so only now that he’d released his grip on me terrifies me to the core.

Others move around me. I sense their gazes, no doubt filled with disdain or pity.

I’m not dying at least.

Not today, anyway.