Page 24

Chapter 23

Kobe

I never would’ve expected this house to be a secret headquarters for the feds’ operation. It’s so unassuming, though I guess that’s the point. Sitting right in the middle of a residential area full of white picket fence homes, with kids running around playing ball on the streets. On the surface, it has all the markers of a regular home. A kid’s scooter by the garage. A family minivan parked to the side. Silly decorations in the windows. But nothing is what it appears to be, is it?

“Are you listening, Mr. Saber?” The question forces me to stop watching what’s happening outside of the window and turn my attention back to the room full of agents.

Evans gives me the look she’s been giving me since I came here. She probably thinks I’m nervous about being here—and I am—but it’s not the main reason for my anxiety and absent-mindedness.

All I can think about is Apollo and that frightened expression he had when he saw me with the body. It still makes my heart feel like it is being gripped by a cold pair of claws. He was so horrified. As horrified as he should have been seeing a human being cut into pieces. Almost as horrified as I was when Jasper asked me to do it.

I knew it was a trick, but didn’t realize what a fucked up kind. Not just to see how depraved of an order he can give me to test my loyalty. It wasn’t a coincidence Apollo turned up there. Jasper wanted him there. Wanted him to see me like that.

And see he did…

No one has ever looked at me that way before. The fact that it was him, of all people, rips me to shreds.

“Yeah,” I say finally, trying to seem focused.

It feels as if I’ve been here for freaking hours. Signing declarations and official papers. Listening to endless legal drivel. So much so hardly anything they say makes sense to me anymore. At least I understand the main bits; I hope . That I’ll be anonymous to the public after the case and throughout. The limits of what I can and can’t share with other parties, which is basically nothing. I signed the cooperation agreement with terms outlining what they want from me. Surveillance participation. Testifying in court.

I’ve told them everything. The truthful disclosure of my past crimes , as they’ve called it. I was only required to tell them what I did in relation to Jasper Zane’s case, but I told them about all of it. About me killing that man in self defense. Seeing that girl get dragged away. Many worse things that I’ve witnessed in the past months. Even the butchery I was asked to do yesterday. I think Agent Evans saw the genuine guilt and disgust on my face as I talked about it, and that’s why she’s so careful around me now. Of course, I didn’t entirely explain why Jasper made me do it specifically. I only said it was to test my loyalty.

It felt almost cathartic to get all of my sins off my chest.

And even after admitting all that, my immunity under the proffer agreement should be granted. Well, me not going to prison, rather than a full immunity. I’ll still be on probation when all this is over.

If it ever is…

I did it while bearing their glances. They need my help, yet some of the agents can’t seem to hide their quiet disdain. I’m a criminal. I’m the subspecies of human they spend their lives hunting. But I suppose I’m also the smallest of the evils and can be useful, so that’s why I am here and not in cuffs.

Though maybe I should be.

I can still smell the blood and the guts. My fingers are cracked and painful from how long I washed my hands under the hot water, and yet it feels like I’m not clean. I never will be after that. How could I? I chopped a person into pieces, imagining they were nothing but some prop; knowing they weren’t. At least they had a bag over their head when I came in. I don’t think I could handle another pair of eyes haunting me in my nightmares.

Rubbing my face, I order myself to pay attention to the paper in front of me. “This is the last one I need to sign?”

The Supervising Special Agent nods. “Once again, you are free, and advised , to consult with a lawyer before—” He pauses at the sound of me scratching my surname above the dotted line.

I don’t care. As long as my family and Apollo are given protection, I will do this and try to fix things.

Someone places a glass of water next to me.

“You looked like you might need it,” Agent Colton says. He seems to have warmed up to me a bit. Maybe Evans talked to him. She has been strangely kind to me, and I wonder if it’s some sort of alpha instinct. If a primal part of her makes her want to protect me as an omega or something.

She steps in as I hand the signed paper to her supervisor over the table. “Worse people have gotten away with worse things. Unfortunately,” Agent Evans remarks.

I don’t know if that calms me, but she’s right.

“Now,” the man sitting across from me says, putting his hands together after briefly studying my signature, “what’s essential is that you don’t make waves. From now on, we need you to focus on the task, as we’ve outlined. Zane is well aware of the recent heightened police and federal activity. Thankfully, he wasn’t as smart as his father and neglected to keep paying some of the bribed officials and police. Many have already broken and came to us.”

Hearing that gives me some sense of righteous satisfaction. Everything Jasper is building around himself might collapse, and it will mostly be his fault. But I’ll have to be careful. More than ever before.

I nod and hope they can see the determination on my face.

I’m going to need to lock in on this. No backing out now. And that starts by admitting to myself that my heart is getting way too close to Apollo. I must tread carefully. For everyone’s sake—his, mine, my family’s, and this entire operation’s.

Jasper led Apollo to see me with the body to pull us apart. He’s clearly much more jealous than he lets on. No matter what Apollo believes or what he tells him. A jealous alpha is dangerous. It’s too much of a risk for me to keep pushing him.

“I will do everything I can to help you make this right,” I say with steel assurance. Agent Evans looks at me with raised brows, surprised at the sudden change of attitude most likely, and so does the special agent. With a faint smile and a seriously determined gaze, he reaches out his hand for a handshake.

“Very well. We’ll hold you to it, Mr. Saber.”

?

Jasper watches me from across his table, narrowing those distrustful blue eyes while I close the door to his office behind me. “You wanted to talk?” he asks, not at all hiding the cautious undertones to his words. It feels like I’ve willfully walked into a wolf’s den, but it is essential that I do this.

There’s no choice, no matter how afraid I am of his hidden teeth or hungry gaze. No matter how fresh the wounds he caused me are. This is something that needs to be done.

“Yes, boss,” I say, steadying my voice.

He cocks a brow, surprise mixing with suspicion on his face. “What is it?”

Come on. You prepared for this. You need to do it.

“I wanted to clear the air between us,” I start, keeping my chin down to show respect; submissiveness even. “And apologize. For…messing around with Apollo. And in turn disrespecting you as his alpha.” The last few words hardly leave my lips, but I push them out. Hopefully with enough conviction.

Jasper studies me intently, as if he’s trying to find out what kind of game I’m playing.

“I don’t care what you two do together. He’s free to do whatever he wants. I told you both,” he mutters. As he leans his head to the side, resting it against his hand, he tries to appear unbothered, but I know the truth. It’s almost amusing how he thinks he can convince me he doesn’t care with how much smoldering possessiveness and jealousy I’ve already got from him since I started getting close to Apollo.

“I know, but…it was a mistake. What you said was true, even if I don’t like to admit it. I’m not an alpha. I’m an omega, and the two of us shouldn’t have…” Even as I try to imagine this isn’t really me saying it but someone else, it’s hard to say those words. Apollo’s smile stands out in my mind, and it’s as if I’m betraying him. “I was stupid to get distracted with it and to…overstep.”

Jasper’s eyes are locked on me while he listens intently. I see the faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lip. I know the delight he must feel at finally getting his way.

Just a little further. Stroke his ego to completion and do it convincingly.

I lower my gaze for a moment, anxiously shifting on my feet. “I respect you as my boss and as alpha…and I don’t want to risk my position here for some pleasure and excitement. Apollo isn’t mine and never could be. I understand that now. I won’t get distracted by any of it anymore. I can promise you that.”

There it goes, spilling out of him—a chuckle. Giddy, almost.

He straightens his back in the chair and leans forward, resting his elbows against the edge of the table. With his hands locking together and a pleased expression aimed at me, he nods. “Mhm… Well, can’t say I expected you to straighten out like this, but I suppose you learned your lesson in the warehouse, hm?”

A wild rush of memories and sensations from that night passes through me, leaving a faint tingling in my fingers and that sickly feeling at the bottom of my stomach. What matters is that he seems to buy it. And he won’t be able to do that to anyone ever again once I ensure he goes to prison and stays there for the rest of his life.

“Good. Good .” He claps his hands together with a satisfied sigh. “You wouldn’t mind if I showed Apollo a recording of this, would you? Just to make sure we’re all on the same page. He gets a little…confused about his feelings sometimes. They overcome him from time to time, and he needs a lesson to get back in line.”

I blink, darting my eyes to where his finger so flippantly points.

The fire alarm on the ceiling…or what I thought was a fire alarm. Frowning slightly before I take hold of my facial muscles and stop them from showing a reaction, I glance back at Jasper and again to the inconspicuous black dome-like object.

“N-no. I don’t care, boss,” I mutter, shaking my head.

He’s been recording…what, everything? In his office only? Is that why he always sits behind those monitors he lets no one else in front of?

My brain buzzes with ideas. This could change everything. This could be the proof the feds need. If this camera records image and sound, how many others are there? All over the Dollhouse? Does he keep the recordings?

It makes sense. Studying his contented smirk, it makes complete sense for someone as obsessed with power and control to be recording everything that’s happening under his roof. And with how paranoid he can be, maybe he keeps an archive of these clips. This could completely ruin him.

Then, I fully compute what Jasper said right before my mind got fixated on the camera. Apollo .

My stomach clenches at the idea of him listening to this. I hate having to hurt him, but…there’s no other way. If I’m to protect him and keep him safe, he can’t know, and it’s better for him to believe I don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. I guess it will be easier than having to talk to him in person. I’m not sure if I’d be able to lie as convincingly when faced with those gorgeous eyes that seem to light up every time they see me.

The agents were pretty clear about not telling anyone about the plan we were working on. The more people that know, the bigger the chance of it getting out or going awry. Still, I keep wondering if I should tell him.

Maybe this way is safer. After all, I have no idea how Apollo would react. Would he even be up for this? For…turning on the man he loves? The man who he lives with, who gave him everything? No. He’s too indebted to Jasper and too in love with him to see through it and help me.

I have to do this alone. For him, for myself, for everybody.

“That’s all I wanted to say.” Playing the part of a good soldier, I nod as a thanks and wait for him to dismiss me. Jasper looks at me entirely differently than he did when I walked into the room mere minutes ago. Like everything slotted into place perfectly and he has full control of everyone under him again, he smiles, almost scarily, and waves his hand at me, letting me know I am free to go.

Even with the horrible weight of guilt at the bottom of my stomach, I can praise myself for averting this crisis.

Not having Jasper gunning for me will make digging around and doing whatever the feds need me to do much easier. The faster I do that, the faster this will end.

As I walk out of the office, I try to convince myself that Apollo won’t be as hurt by that recording as I would have been in his place. He’s told me since the beginning that what we have is nothing but some fun. Some kind of outlet for him to maybe let out the stress of doing this job. Jasper is his partner. His alpha. Us having sex a few times—no matter how incredibly, magically, crazily intimate it was—doesn’t change that fact.

That’s right. He’s going to be okay.