Page 43 of Time Traveling Space Bastards

I t was official. My sister was insane. Kuka went right over that cliff with her as soon as she told us what she wanted to do. Personally, I thought it was just crazy enough to work, but Ghol didn’t like anything about it. He wouldn’t. He had every ounce of battle strategy available on our planet programmed into his head and now that he was here, he could access what they had on this planet, too.

Yeah, it was totally insane, but we really weren’t that different from humans when it came down to it. And as much as I loathed it, human males seemed to find my sister attractive just like back home. She’d been able to wrap them around her finger since puberty hit and for once, it was actually useful.

Enix sent the blueprints and security information to our chips so we knew where to avoid the cameras. Ghol stayed with Omi while she gathered her army of devoted, but hormonal teenage males. Ugh. I really wanted to hate that, but I couldn’t.

Enix set the cameras in the back of the house on a loop while Kuka, Enix, and I tried to breach the rear of the property. The problem with that was that the back of Valtens’s property butted against the back of someone else’s. Someone we honestly had no problem with and didn’t want to scare the shit out of prowling through to get to Valtens.

And we definitely didn’t want human police anywhere near this. Kuka just shrugged and marched straight up to their front door. He was up to something. I went with him because it was my duty to protect him, but I half turned so I could watch the door and the street at the same time.

The woman who answered the door was no threat. Saki revered our elders, and this was the human equivalent. She looked at us expectantly and Baxter was right. With his clothes on, everyone just assumed Kuka was wearing contacts and so was Enix. I kept my face in the shadows so I didn’t startle the human elder.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but we’ve received a complaint about your neighbor behind you. We need to get in the back of the house, but he’s refusing to let us. We have authorization to be there. Can we go through your property to get to his?”

Interesting. We did that on our planet, but you had to have official documents authorizing it. Most folks didn’t want to let our police anywhere near their neighbors unless they saw the documents and knew there was a reason for it. Kuka was taking a huge risk. She could easily ask for proof we were authorized to be there.

But she didn’t. She just nodded.

“Are you finally here to look at the smell back there that I’ve been reporting for years? I’ve also made several noise complaints because whatever he’s doing back there that is causing the stink is also quite loud.”

“Ma’am, that is exactly why we’re here and if it’s illegal, we’ll take care of it.”

“He also terrorized my grandson for knocking on his door at Halloween one year, so if the big one wants to knock him around a bit, I’ll be a witness and say it never happened. If you don’t want trick or treaters, you turn the porch light off. It’s not rocket science.”

“I will avenge your grandson,” I said.

She let us through the back of the property and once we were alone, I asked Enix what the fuck Halloween and trick or treaters were.

“It’s a human holiday where their younglings dress like demons and the elders give them sweets. Some of the younglings vandalize property if an elder doesn’t give them sweets.”

“Weird,” I grunted, boosting Kuka over the fence.

Enix was next, and I vaulted over after them. Enix had the cameras back there on a loop. Omi gave me a brief lesson on how to pick locks on this planet and I honestly didn’t know how anyone felt safe here with flimsy doors and easily accessible locks.

We stayed hidden because we didn’t need Valtens looking out of a window and seeing us. We needed to wait for Omi to do her thing.

And I gave my sister shit all the time because she liked being reckless, but her shenanigans always worked out in her favor.