Page 33 of Time Traveling Space Bastards

I was grateful Ghol stepped up to help save my life, and I got that he felt he didn’t have a choice, but I was still going to poke him a bit for giving my Enix a hard time. Enix helped Ghol out of the broken time machine because he still wasn’t working too great.

Kuka had a point. Whether they left with me or they left without me, they couldn’t leave a broken time machine behind. It wasn’t just that it was a clear sign aliens had been here if it was found. Humans weren’t ready for this kind of technology.

This machine was made of metal that was capable of withstanding a black hole. We weren’t going to use it for that. We’d make weapons with it or we’d make things better only for the ultra-wealthy.

Kuka programmed something into the console and ushered us all out. I watched as the bus stop kind of just folded itself up into a tiny cube and then disappeared.

“That would do wonders for the landfills and all the trash in the oceans,” I said.

“It’s how we deal with ours. You put yours in the ocean?”

“Well, we don’t have this technology, and we have a lot of fuck the environment folks. Let’s get back to my apartment. I’ll call another rideshare because I’m not walking. Ghol, what do you need?”

“Well, we don’t rust, but Valtens kept me locked in the ship trying to figure out how to get us out of there, so my power reserves were deathly low when he hit the kill switch. I just need a little time in the sun.”

“We’ll get it for you. And you’re going to have to try food if you want.”

Ghol gasped.

“We can’t.”

“We can and it’s delicious. It just has to come back out and that part is unpleasant. We can do a lot of things they kept from us.”

“It’s going to cause problems if you bring this back home. The people who bought us won’t like it.”

“Tough shit,” I said. “You aren’t like the robot vacuum I really want, but can’t afford. The Enix aren’t this mindless machine you press a button and get something done. You’re just as sentient as I am. We’re backwards in a lot of ways compared to your planet, but it’s illegal to do what was done to Enix here. If one of your pleasure models doesn’t want to have sex, they should be allowed to refuse. If you don’t want to be mistreated by a brat prince no one likes, you should be able to quit like his previous bodyguards. This isn’t rocket science.”

“I like her,” Ghol said.

“Hands off,” Enix snarled.

That was the closest Enix ever came to being as possessive as Torrek and their time machine which kept hitting on me.

“She’s my Zovea,” Torrek said. “I’m okay with them saying that, but not you.”

“Noted, but I could take you.”

Omi just snorted.

“Not when a Saki’s Zovea is involved. My brother would probably get fucked-up in the tussle, but you’d be ripped apart.”

“Well, I didn’t mean it like that, so there’s no need to threaten me. I like her in the sense that I think she’s good for my kind, not sexually. I’m not programmed for that.”

“Don’t do it here, or Torrek will kill you, but I’m pretty sure you could pop a boner and have sex if you wanted.”

“That’s…gross. Valtens used to do that and make me stand in the room in case someone tried to kill him. Everyone gets sweaty and sounds like they are being tortured. No thank you.”

“And if you don’t want to have sex, that’s totally fine, but I think you’ll really love Earth tacos. We’re ordering those when we get home and no one get weird with the delivery person this time. I might be leaving the planet if I don’t die, but I don’t want to be remembered for being rude to service workers when I go.”

“I’m not sure I can eat,” Ghol said.

“When you’re ready then. You kind of owe me a favor for being a shit to my Enix. That’s our ride,” I said, stepping towards the minivan.