Page 232 of The Pillars of the Earth

“For God’s sake, who the hell bought it?” Ellen said angrily. “Did Richard work hard for years building up a wool business? Did Richard negotiate with greedy peasants and hard-nosed Flemish buyers? Did Richard collect the wool and store it and set up a market stall and sell it? Don’t tell me it’s Richard’s horse!”

“He would be so angry—”

“Good. Let’s hope he gets angry enough to do some work for the first time in his life.”

Aliena opened her mouth to argue, then closed it again. Ellen was right. Richard had always relied on her for everything. While he had been fighting for his patrimony she had been obliged to support him. But now he was not fighting for anything. He had no further claim on her.

She imagined meeting Jack again. She visualized his face, smiling at her. They would kiss. She felt a stir of pleasure in her loins. She realized she was getting damp down there at the mere thought of him. She felt embarrassed.

Ellen said: “Traveling is hazardous, of course.”

Aliena smiled. “That’s one thing I’m not worried about. I’ve been traveling since I was seventeen years old. I can take care of myself.”

“Anyway, there will be hundreds of people on the road to Compostela. You can join with a large pilgrim band. You won’t have to travel alone.”

Aliena sighed. “You know, if I didn’t have Baby I think I’d do it.”

“It’s because of Baby that you must,” Ellen said. “He needs a father.”

Aliena had not looked at it that way: she had been thinking of the journey as purely selfish. Now she saw that the baby needed Jack as much as she did. In her obsession with the day-to-day care of the baby she had not thought about his future. Suddenly it seemed terribly unfair that he should grow up not knowing the brilliant, unique, adorable genius who was his father.

She realized she was talking herself into going, and she felt a thrill of apprehension.

A snag occurred to her. “I couldn’t take the baby to Compostela.”

Ellen shrugged. “He won’t know the difference between Spain and England. But you don’t have to take him.”

“What else could I do?”

“Leave him with me. I’ll feed him on goat’s milk and wild honey.”

Aliena shook her head. “I couldn’t bear to be parted from him. I love him too much.”

“If you love him,” Ellen said, “go and find his father.”

II

Aliena found a ship at Wareham. When she had crossed to France as a girl, with her father, they had gone in one of the Norman warships. These were long, narrow vessels whose sides curved up to a high, sharp point at front and back. They had rows of oars along each side and a square leather sail. The ship that was to take her to Normandy now was similar to those warships, but wider at the waist, and deeper, to take cargo. It had come from Bordeaux, and she had watched the barefoot sailors unload great casks of wine destined for the cellars of the wealthy.

Aliena knew she should leave her baby but she was heartbroken about it. Every time she looked at him she rehearsed all the arguments and decided again that she ought to go; and it made no difference: she did not want to part from him.

Ellen had come to Wareham with her. Here Aliena had joined up with two monks from Glastonbury Abbey who were going to visit their property in Normandy. Three other people would be passengers on the ship: a young squire who had spent four years with an English relative and was returning to his parents in Toulouse, and two young masons who had heard that wages were higher and girls were prettier on the other side of the water. On the morning they were to sail, they all waited in the alehouse while the crew loaded the ship with heavy ingots of Cornish tin. The masons drank several pots of ale but did not appear to get drunk. Aliena hugged the baby and cried silently.

At last the ship was ready to leave. The sturdy gray mare Aliena had bought in Shiring had never seen the sea, and refused to go up the gangplank. However, the squire and the masons collaborated enthusiastically and eventually got the horse on board.

Aliena was blinded by tears as she gave her baby to Ellen. Ellen took the baby, but she said: “You can’t do this. I was wrong to suggest it.”

Aliena cried even more. “But there’s Jack,” she sobbed. “I can’t live without Jack, I know I can’t. I must look for him.”

“Oh, yes,” Ellen said. “I’m not suggesting you abandon the trip. But you can’t leave your baby behind. Take him with you.”

Aliena was flooded with gratitude and cried all the more. “Do you really think it will be all right?”

“He’s been as happy as could be, all the way here, riding with you. The rest of the trip will only be more of the same. And he doesn’t much like goat’s milk.”

The captain of the vessel said: “Come on, ladies, the tide’s on the turn.”

Aliena took the baby back and kissed Ellen. “Thank you. I’m so happy.”