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NYLAH

I couldn’t stop pacing until I got a text from Sienna telling me that Carson had been found and the guys were bringing him home.

Sienna: Sounds like he’s a mess. I’ll let you know more when I find out the details.

It took everything in me not to rush over there and be around for his arrival. But if he was a mess, he probably didn’t want me to see it. I get that. The only one who was allowed around me on my worst days was Gramma.

So I tucked myself back into bed and tried to catch some more sleep.

It didn’t work. I spent the night tossing and turning and woke up feeling headachy and sore.

I can’t spend another day lying around moping. But I don’t want to go to class either.

Jolie left already. She had an early start because she wanted to see her boyfriend before her first class.

Lucky bitch.

Sitting up with a broken snicker, I swing my legs over the side of the bed.

Sienna sent me a brief text late last night telling me that Carson was okay. He was sleeping and just needed some space.

It was a thunder punch to the chest.

Space. I don’t want space!

Shit, I wish I could just stop thinking about him. My brain has been torturing me, running on repeat as I try to figure out what got him so worked up in the first place.

Things were going great between us, and then snap! He’s coming home from practice in a rage and kicking me out of his life.

And now he’s a wreck.

You’d think since he was the dumper, he’d be in a better place than I am, but by the sounds of it, he’s dived headfirst off the rails, and his friends are left to pick up the pieces.

I want to be there for him.

But he needs space right now.

My lips tremble, my chin bunching as I fight off yet another wave of stupid tears. I don’t want to feel like this!

I just want to rewind back to last week when everything was perfect.

When—

There’s a soft knock at my door. “Nylah? You in there?”

Shit, not right now, Dad!

Closing my eyes with a short huff, I grip the edge of my bed.

Do I just stay quiet and hope he’ll ignore me?

“Nylah, please. I know you’re in there. Let me in.”

I shake my head, clenching my jaw to stop my lips from trembling.

“Baby, I’m not leaving until I make sure you’re okay. I’ll stand out here all day if I have to.”

My shoulders slump as I let out a little huff and shuffle to the door. Snapping the lock, I let it open and hurry back to my bed, not in the mood for one of Dad’s hugs right now.

The door creaks as he shuffles through it, then closes it with a flick of his fingers and gazes across the room at me. His eyebrows dip in concern. “Are you sick?”

I shrug. In a way I am.

Heartsick counts, right?

Dad studies me for a long, painful minute, sliding his hands into his pockets and assessing me the way he does one of his players.

“Stop,” I whisper, closing my eyes and figuring I may as well just tell him the truth. I lied on the phone last night to get out of dinner, but now that he’s looking at my face, I don’t think I have the strength to keep this secret anymore. “I got dumped.”

Dad blinks, his head jolting back. “I didn’t even realize you had a boyfriend.”

My mouth works to the side, my heart starting to thrum as I spread my arms wide and show him the Nolan U Football hoodie I’m wearing. “I couldn’t tell you because… of your stupid rule.”

The temperature in the room drops by a thousand degrees as Dad stares at the baggy hoodie and swallows. His nostrils flare while I try to decide whether I should give him a name or keep it anonymous. It’s gonna drive my dad insane, but I don’t want him taking it out on Carson.

“So, one of my players. Should have known.” He shakes his head. “I knew something was off with you, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. It didn’t occur to me that you’d…” He lets out a huff. “That you’d disrespect me this way.” His voice starts to rise, and I bristle right along with him.

“This has nothing to do with you! I met him, I liked him. We had a connection, so I went for it. You can’t always control who you fall in love with!”

He goes still, his lips parting as his eyebrows rise to the top of his forehead. “You’re in love?”

I spit out a brittle scoff and shake my head, my eyes starting to ache as tears threaten to expose just how deep the feels are.

“Nylah.” Dad rushes to the side of my bed, wrapping his arm around me. “Who is he?”

“No,” I blubber. “I don’t want you to take it out on him.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

I turn with a skeptical frown, blinking through my tears.

He gives me an apologetic smile before plunging the knife nice and deep. “You guys aren’t together anymore, so no rules are being broken.”

Flicking his arm off my shoulder, I stand and move away from him. Carson’s hoodie falls down my thighs. It’s like a dress. It’s so big and delicious, and I hope he never asks for it back.

Lifting the long, floppy sleeve to my nose, I sniff in his essence, my chest aching in new ways as I turn back to face my father.

Holding out my arm, I flick my wrist so the cuff dangles in the air and whisper, “Do you know who this sweatshirt belongs to?”

Dad studies the bold Nolan U letters across the front, then shakes his head. “Who are you in love with, Nylah? Just say it.”

Sucking in a breath, I release his name on a pitiful sigh. “Carson McAvoy.”

There’s a long, uncomfortable pause… and then comes the explosion.

“What!” Dad jerks to his feet. “McAvoy? You…” He huffs and shakes his head. “Are you kidding me?”

I shrug. “He’s it, Dad.”

“No. No! He can’t be. He’s too destructive and short-tempered!

He turned up to my practice wasted the other day, tried to kill one of the other players, and then didn’t even show yesterday!

I lost four other players because they went out looking for him!

” He flicks his arms out wide. “He’s not worthy of you, Nylah! ”

“Oh, stop with the bullshit!” I scream. “I’m not some deity! He doesn’t have to be worthy of me. I love him! I love him just the way he is. And sure, he screws up sometimes, but I want to work through that with him. I want to help him and take care of him the way he’s taken care of me.”

Dad frowns like I’ve lost my mind.

“He’s a good person, Dad. Stop treating him like he’s not!” I flop back against the wall, sobs suddenly racking my body. I fist Carson’s sweater and try to contain them, but I can’t.

“Baby girl.” Dad stands, moving forward to give me a hug, but I shake my head and push him away from me.

“Don’t! Don’t act like you care,” I cry. “You’re probably happy he dumped me.”

“I didn’t want him to hurt you.” Dad looks crushed. “And that’s what he’s done. He’s hurt you! Just like Nick did.”

“No!” I whack the wall with the side of my fist. “Not like Nick. That selfish prick didn’t want to have to hang around and deal with an invalid.

” Dipping my chin, I press my palm to my forehead and whimper.

“Carson broke up with me because he thinks he’s not good for me.

And I would do anything to convince him that’s not true.

But he doesn’t want to see me right now.

He won’t take my calls or reply to my texts.

He’s pushing me away. And he thinks he’s doing it for my sake.

” I let out a shuddering breath. “I love him, Dad. I love him.”

My legs buckle, and I start to slide to the floor. Dad catches me before I hit the ground, wrapping me tight against him and cradling the back of my head.

I let him hold me because I’ve got nothing left right now.

I’m a depleted wreck, which is why I don’t fight it when Dad scoops me into his arm and carries me back to bed. Nestling me onto the mattress, he covers me up to my chin, then kisses my forehead and strokes my back until I’m finally drifting off to sleep.