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CARSON

“Carson, I’m okay,” Nylah quickly assures me, but I shake my head, stumbling away from her.

That’s the second time my anger has had her landing on her ass.

I can’t do this to her anymore.

I can’t keep hurting her this way.

“It was an accident.” She gets back to her feet, but I can’t hear her past the buzzing in my head. “Carson.”

Taking another step back, I crash into my desk, holding out my hand when she goes to reach for me. “Stop! Stay away from me!”

“You’re not going to hurt me.” She brushes her fingers down her face like she’s trying to show me that nothing’s hurt or broken. Her eyes are so bright with hope and assurance. “I’m fine. I’m good. This is all going to be okay. I’ll help you calm down, and we can sort through this together.”

“No.” I shake my head, horrified by the image of her falling to the floor.

I hit her.

I fucking hit her!

I didn’t mean to, but it happened.

And I can’t let her stay around me anymore. I’ve let this shit go on long enough.

“Your dad’s right about me,” I croak. “You can do so much better. I’m no good for you. You need to go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Her eyes spark with that fiery determined look I love so much.

I squeeze my eyes closed and turn away from her. “I hurt you.”

“You didn’t. It’s not like you meant to hit me. It was just a mistime. It’s no big deal.”

How can she be so fucking forgiving?

She should be chasing me away with a baseball bat.

That’s what I deserve.

“Look, you’re obviously going through something, and I’m here for you. I won’t touch you or get too close. I’ll just stand over here and wait for you to regulate, okay? But when you’re ready, I’ll?—”

“No,” I rasp, forcing my eyes to open and look at her beautiful face.

Even the fact that she has to say this shit is killing me. I’m like some untamable beast, and I won’t let her do this to herself.

Her eyebrows pinch together as she licks her lips, then calmly says, “Okay, well, what do you want to do? Should we watch a movie or?—”

“We’re done.” I force out the words.

She tips her head like she doesn’t get what I’m saying. “Excuse me?”

“We’re done, Nylah. We’re over. Whatever the fuck this has been”—I flick my finger between us“—it’s ending right now.”