Page 46 of The Never List (Never List #1)

Rylee

I free-fall through the night sky, my limbs flinging upward, completely out of control as I plummet.

Clarity snaps through my foggy mind like the crack of a whip.

I jerk my arms and legs, windmilling them like that will stop me from splattering all over the ground that looks like a grain of rice below. I reach for my power, trying to lasso the wind so it will slow my descent, but there is nothing there.

Panic bolts through my system, the breath in my lungs too short and fast as I fall. Where the goddesses is my power? Why can’t I—

The Athanry. The elixir. The doorway.

Maybe the elixir depleted my powers to make room for whatever the goddesses will use to turn me immortal. I remember how I felt before I started falling—the burning that soared through my body, overfilling me until I was spilling buckets of it.

The fall is never-ending, my panic climbing in intensity as I try and try to stop myself in the air.

I think of Kal, think of how easy it is for him to fly and—

Like snapping my fingers, I’m no longer falling.

I’m soaring.

I cut through the air as effortlessly as if I’m using my wind, but there is no end in sight.

Pierce said the elixir was meant to test me…maybe it’s giving me a taste of my mates’ powers, so I can fully understand them in their entirety.

I don’t feel the bottom of Kal’s power, don’t feel the need to conserve it for when I need it most. There is an endless well of his energy flowing through my veins, and it’s downright intoxicating. Or that could be the fact that I know I’m not about to become splatter on the ground below, but still—

The night sky disappears so suddenly, I scream, losing hold of Kal’s power in my blood. I crash into an ocean that definitely wasn’t there seconds ago. The impact shocks my body. The water is freezing, the cold biting into my skin so fiercely it burns. My muscles lock up despite my mind demanding they move . I didn’t get a good breath before crashing beneath the water, and I’m sinking like a stone.

A powerful current churns around me as I thrash and kick for the surface. But it’s like something is locked around my ankles, yanking me down, down, down. My lungs burn, begging for the air I so desperately need. Panic makes my vision flicker, the iciness sluicing through my veins.

No, no, no. I can’t drown here. I can’t. I have to get back to my mates.

Something zaps inside me, like the crackling of a fire, and I’m sure it’s my lungs exploding in my chest, but after a few more seconds, I realize it’s Axl’s power.

His power.

I want to smack myself, but instead, I mentally clutch that power and tug. My descent stops, my momentum propelling me toward the surface as I control the water around me. I clear it in seconds, gulping in lungfuls of precious air as my mind clears—

My body slams into a hard, polished emerald floor, the pain of the impact radiating through my bones. I cringe against it, then haul myself upright before I get trampled by the throngs of people rushing around the room.

They move as if I don’t exist, bumping into me, their motions jostling me this way and that until I’m ready to throat punch the next person who does it—

It hits me at once—the thoughts.

All of them.

Every single person’s thoughts, worries, dreams, fantasies, and fears slam into me like an avalanche. I rush through the crowd, shoving my way through the bodies until I find a solitary corner, my head bursting with an icy pain that digs through the center of my mind with razor-sharp claws. I grab at my head, massaging it with my fingers like that will make the voices stop, make the images flashing behind my eyes stop.

Pierce’s power. Just a fraction of it. Goddess .

I close my eyes and breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. He taught me a little about mental shielding. It’s all about control and breathing. I can do this. Remember what he said… Empty your mind until you are alone in the room you’ve created for yourself.

Blowing out a breath, I picture closing a hundred doors. One by one, I slam a door on every distinct voice I hear in my head. The volume inside decreases with each one closed. My breathing comes easier as the roar dwindles, and my muscles relax when I hear nothing but my own thoughts.

Carefully, I peel open my eyelids, terrified of the crowded room, but it’s empty. Nothing but the glimmering emerald floors and the blank walls. It’s peaceful and welcome after the onslaught, and I’m able to stand up again. I flick my fingers, conjuring the emerald ribbons of energy I’ve seen Pierce create a thousand times, and I giggle when one spirals from my fingertips. I can feel the ribbon of power like it’s an extension of my body. It’s beautiful and strange and endless.

It disappears when the room goes black.

I widen my eyes in an attempt to see better, but the darkness is thicker than midnight.

Only one power left. My Nightmare’s.

I steel myself for what I’m sure will be a barrage of emotions flooding me, like the voices, but nothing comes. I move around in the darkness, trying to find anything that will help.

A light flickers in the farthest corner of the area, and I instinctively move toward it. The closer I get, the more dread fills the back of my throat. It’s a distinct sensation, almost with its own flavor. I try to swallow around it, then freeze when I see Jax in the corner. He’s dressed in his usual black, leaning against the wall, glaring at something I can’t see.

“Jax?” I call out to him, but he doesn’t look my way, doesn’t act like he’s heard me.

His indigo eyes are cold, hard, and this side of hateful. In fact, I can feel the hatred radiating from him, can taste it on my tongue. Goddess, it’s haunting. What is he looking at?

I move closer, finally able to see properly.

It’s…

Me .

He’s looking at me while I talk to Kal, a smile on my face and my hand on his forearm. I recognize the memory because it’s mine, just from a different point of view.

Hunger pulses right alongside the hatred with a dash of fear. I look back at Jax, my heart aching as his emotions storm me.

He hated me; we’d already established that. And he had every reason to, but now? Now I know he loves me. He knows how much I love him. Still…these emotions are intense and threaten to ruin everything I know in my heart.

Fuck, he lives his life like this every day? Feeling all these raw, unforgiving emotions? But he can control them, too. I’ve seen him in action. If he can do it, so can I.

I walk up to the phantom Jax, focusing on his power humming inside me. I stroke it into submission—his power is so much more combative than the others’. I hush it until it’s purring, begging me to keep playing with it. Then I send a burst of love soaring over the hate pulsing off of Jax.

His muscles relax, the deep grooves in his brow melting as his eyes soften. A sigh slides past his lips, and he uncrosses his arms, looking at Kal and me the way he does now—in the real world, not this test, this trial.

I step away from him, closing my eyes as I distinguish each of their powers inside me. Axl’s is crisp and churning like the sea. Pierce’s is intricate and delicate like a spiderweb. Kal’s is warm and humming like the sun. And Jax’s is smoky and stubborn like the shadows.

It’s too much and not enough, just like my mates. I want them to consume me, use me, love and protect me, just like I want to do to them.

“Rylee Gray,” a feminine voice calls, and I whirl around.

The darkness has vanished, replaced by a light so bright it burns my eyes.

I blink repeatedly, adjusting to the difference.

I’m no longer alone in a blank canvas of a room.

I’m standing among the goddesses themselves.

I drop to a knee, dipping my head in a bow deeper than any I’ve ever done for the kings.

Light laughter fills the space, the sound almost musical. “Your mistrust of our mates isn’t unnoticed,” the same feminine voice says, and I dare to look up from where I kneel.

“Goddess Evaluna.” I whisper her name, recognizing her from the dress of night wrapped around her. My eyes trail over the others, their beauty severe, almost brutal where they stand before me. Goddesses Tareena, Eirdis, and Neph are giving me prideful, surveying looks as Evaluna dips her head in acknowledgment.

Goddess Neph steps forward, her feet bare, a gown of glistening gold and red covering her. Long blond hair flows over her shoulders. She looks like the sun and radiates a warmth I recognize in her son. “You have more than a drop of my blessing in your blood,” she says, her voice smooth and comforting.

I nod, my voice tangling in my throat.

“Is this real?” I ask. “Or is this an elixir test? Why did it let me feel their powers?”

“What do you think?” Eirdis asks—Pierce’s mother—dressed in a gown of purest purple that radiates against her brown skin. Spiders of black and gold shift with movement over the fabric, and she has the same intellectual eyes as Pierce, the same challenge silently boring from them.

Think. Feel. Process.

“It feels real,” I finally answer.

Their power, their presence threatens to swallow me whole, not unlike their sons, but in a way that is more potent. If I ever felt small in my Legends’ presence, then here among the goddesses, I am as insignificant as an ant.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Rylee Gray,” Eirdis says. “Rise.”

I immediately obey, instantly wishing I was wearing anything but the scrap of silver the Athanry demanded. Goddess meetings should be more formal, right? Not this mess.

Tareena sighs. “It’s a shame. I like this one. She was different.”

“Agreed,” Eirdis says. “She’s so bonded to them that even in her condition, she created a space where she and their powers were one.”

Obviously, they can all read my mind, but for some reason unknown to me, I’m not afraid.

I should be…

Why am I not?

“Probably because there is no fear here,” Neph says, sadness in her eyes replacing the levity from moments ago.

I furrow my brow, some certainty that I can’t quite place banging on the back of my mind.

“Haven’t you realized?” Evaluna tilts her head.

“The pain you felt. We did not concoct the Athanry elixir to cause the potential harm.” Eirdis moves toward me, eyes scanning my body. “Don’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?” I ask, suddenly feeling nothing at all.

Not the pulse beneath my skin or the breath in my lungs.

“Oh, how tragic.” Evaluna purses her lips as she glances to her friends. “She doesn’t know.”

“Know what?” I beg.

Evaluna gives me a pitying look. “You’re dead.”