Page 41 of The Never List (Never List #1)

Rylee

T wo nights spent in the Nightmare’s playroom, and I can feel Jax with every step I take toward one of his private tables in Lust on the ground level of the club.

I have a delicious soreness between my thighs, with red marks from his lips and teeth hidden beneath the emerald green shirt and black leggings I wear. I feel complete in a way I never thought possible, especially as I make it to the private area and find Kal, Axl, and Pierce sitting next to Jax.

Their eyes all shift the moment I get within sight, as if our connection is now strong enough for them to sense when I’m near. It’s overwhelming, but in an exciting way that has me envisioning a real future with each of them…

A pang of guilt spears through me.

I have one last secret to tell.

And despite the love in my heart I have for each of the Legends, I’m terrified they won’t believe me when I say I’m a demi but I have nothing to do with the Faders. Even I can’t deny how damn convenient it is that an Ashlander who also happens to be a demi snuck into the Choosing event right when a new rebel group starts attacking that couldn’t possibly be anything else but demis.

I swallow the guilt, trying not to cringe at how awful it looks when I think of it like that.

But I love these men.

And I know they love me, too.

I can feel it, even if they haven’t said it yet. They’ve shown me enough with their tokens… Well, three of them, at least.

“Darling,” Pierce says, sliding away from the table and wrapping me in a warm embrace. His lips linger at the shell of my ear. “Well done,” he whispers before he pulls away, subtly casting a look at Jax.

He remains seated in a chair he’s pulled up next to the cushioned seats connected to the table, his body relaxed as he leans back, his thighs spread wide, not a care in the world etched in the harsh features of his devastatingly beautiful face.

Butterflies go wild in my stomach when his indigo eyes meet mine, nothing but dominance and need churning in them.

Two massive arms wrap around me from behind, and Axl scoops me up, whirling me around in one of his signature hugs. His mouth is on mine moments later, a quick, powerful kiss I feel in every inch of my body.

He sets me on my feet, his smile infectious as he sits back down, and I slide in on the outer edge of the table, tucking under Kal’s outstretched arm.

“Missed you,” he says, planting a kiss on my forehead.

“Me too,” I say, my entire body and soul relaxing at the five of us together. “So…” I continue after I’ve taken a sip from the drink already waiting for me.

Music from the main portion of Lust vibrates through the walls of this semi-private room. The wall to my left is made of one-way glass, allowing us to see the dancing and enjoyment going on out there while having privacy in here. The space near the wall is only sectioned off by a thick velvet rope, offering patrons a sneak peek, but everyone who comes to Lust knows this is the Nightmare’s private spot, and no one would be silly enough to try to cross it.

“What is on the Legend business agenda tonight?”

Axl laughs, pushing some of his hair off his shoulders as he leans farther back into the seat across from me.

Pierce has settled on Axl’s left, Kal on Pierce’s left, and me on the edge. Jax is just off to the side in his own chair. We certainly make an interesting little group, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be.

Well, almost.

If I knew where Erin was—somewhere I could speak to her, if only for a moment, to get the closure on why she left and how she’s been living since…I would want to be in that place. But even in that wild fantasy, the Legends are no less than a step behind me.

“Is it always going to be business with you?” Axl teases.

“I think each and every one of you has learned by now that that isn’t the case,” I fire back.

Jax shifts in his chair, taking a sip from his short crystal glass, the ice tinkling in the amber liquid.

“Oddly enough,” Pierce says, fiddling with his glass without taking a drink, “there hasn’t been even a whisper of the Faders.” He shakes his head. “And my contacts have gleaned nothing about the whereabouts of your sister, unfortunately,” he adds with an apologetic look.

I swallow hard, doing my best to keep the sadness from becoming overwhelming. The last thing I want is Jax or Pierce’s powers sweeping them up into my own personal trauma.

“Like I told you,” I say, happy when my voice doesn’t so much as tremble, “all of you have bigger things to worry about. As much as I miss her, and as much as I think there won’t be a day that I don’t miss her and wish we could find her, I know Erin. She’ll be found when she wants to be. I don’t want you guys to keep wasting your resources on it. Not when we have the Athanry and the Faders to worry about.”

“Darling,” Pierce sighs, but I shake my head.

“I mean it,” I say. “I think it’s time for me to let go. We have so many more things to worry about. We make it through this next month and the Athanry, and then we’ll re-strategize regarding my sister’s whereabouts.”

The Legends share a look, a silent form of communication I can interpret as saying they aren’t going to let it drop, but they do for now. And that’s all I can ask.

“If we don’t have any Fader business to discuss,” I continue, “and no leads on them, is there any other Legend issue?”

Kal tucks me closer against him, chuckling softly. “Are you so eager to earn our crest and don a mask?” he teases.

I don’t laugh, looking at each one of them seriously. “What do I have to do to earn it?” I ask genuinely. They all stare at me with shock.

“Oh, come on,” I say. “You can’t honestly be that surprised. I know the odds are against me surviving the Athanry—”

“Don’t talk like that,” Kal cuts me off, his eyes severe.

I give him an apologetic shrug. “I can’t help but state the facts. But if I do survive the Athanry, did you honestly think that I would just… What? Wait for one of you all to come home every night? Switch estates every two months? Sit idly by while you risk your lives?”

“To be fair, darling,” Pierce says, “when you do survive, we’ll be infinitely more powerful. The odds of us getting hurt go down. Whereas you…” Pierce’s voice trails off, and his eyes meet mine.

I can’t decipher the silent look.

The power in my veins rumbles just a little, and I wonder if that’s what his silence is about. If this is the secret he’s been referring to and now is my opportunity to tell the truth.

Adrenaline crackles in my veins, and I shift to sit up straighter in my seat, parting my lips—

“Yeah, kitten,” Axl picks up where Pierce left off. “You can’t blame us for wanting to protect you when we have the power to do it.”

But I have power, too.

Say it.

Just say it.

Each one of them now knows I’m an Ashlander and couldn’t care less.

I have power, too…

“Come on,” Jax says, suddenly rising from his chair. He looks down at me, a hand outstretched. “Let’s dance.” The sudden shift in conversation makes me eye him curiously.

I take his hand and stand up, scanning the features on his face. Can he sense my emotional struggle? Can he sense my intention to lie or tell the truth, and that’s why he’s offering me this out?

My heart warms at the idea of this form of protection. Both he and Pierce are giving me space and time to come to them when I’m ready, even though there’s no way that Jax knows my final secret. He must only sense my struggle.

Jax grins down at me—the smile that’s just for me and isn’t laced with threats and promises of nightmares. He slides some hair away from my face, dipping down to kiss me, his lips moving to the line of my jaw—

The subtle movement gives me a view behind him, and everything around me slows down at the sight of Turner aiming one of those powerful magical blasters right at the back of Jax’s head.

The other Legends can’t see him from this angle. Just me.

Every instinct flares to life, adrenaline rushing through me so sharp it hurts.

The crack of the magic snaps through the air, loud enough to be heard over the music pulsing not far away.

Red streaks of fire spear for the back of Jax’s head, and my power snaps through me in one great burst, wind gusting around us, moving us out of the way so quickly, Jax doesn’t even register it.

“What the fuck?” Axl shouts.

The Legends scramble away from the table, but they aren’t faster than me.

I put myself in front of Jax, using my wind to rip the blaster out of Turner’s trembling fingers.

A wave of my hand, and I steal all the air from his lungs. Another flick of my wrist, and the wind propels him up in the air, hanging him upside down as rage makes my entire body shake.

“You will die for that!” I yell, tears gathering in my eyes at how close he came to hurting Jax.

“Rylee.” My name is a plea from Kal’s lips, and I spare a glance at him behind me before I hear the sounds of more enforcers heading our way.

I release my power. Turner smacks against the ground in an unceremonious heap, gulping down the air I’ve returned to him. Enforcers spill into Jax’s private space, weapons drawn.

“We heard the shot, your highnesses,” one of them says. “Is everyone all right?”

Jax is at my side in an instant, positioning me behind him protectively, raking his fingers through his hair as he glares down at Turner.

“We’re fine,” he says, nodding to Turner. “This one is angry that I humiliated him a couple of nights ago. Put him in the dungeons where he belongs.”

“Right away, your highness,” the enforcer says, all four of them working to scoop Turner off the floor and take him out of sight.

And then Jax’s eyes are on me.

And Axl’s and Kal’s and Pierce’s.

I feel like I might buckle under the weight of all four of their stares, but I hold my head high, swallowing the fear and panic climbing up my throat.

“You’re a demi,” Kal whispers.

I do nothing to deny it.

“I’m an Ashlander.” I lift my hands, palms up, sending a soft gust of wind just powerful enough to ruffle each of their hair. “And a demi,” I say, revealing the last secret I have, hoping to all the goddesses above that they won’t damn me for it.