Page 24 of The Never List (Never List #1)

Rylee

While Axl takes care of the net he left behind to check on me, I dry off and change into a spare set of clothes in the carriage, Mirren dutifully standing guard outside of it. Loose white cotton pants hang low on my hips now, a crimson sleeveless top covering my upper half, my feet tucked into comfy slippers perfect for walking.

Axl, Kal, and I spend the next few hours exploring his coastal town, eating fried fish prepared fresh by the vendors lining the little cobblestone streets that cut through the colorful buildings.

I have two helpings as we walk, practically ravenous from the swim.

After tossing my empty food wrappers into a nearby bin, I sigh contentedly, running my fingers along a stone wall embedded with thousands upon thousands of seashells. They vary in size and color, ranging from smaller than a grain of sand to larger than my hand, shades of beige, coral, pink, and even blue scattered throughout.

There’s an overwhelming sense of rightness as I walk with Axl on my left and Kal on my right, as if we’ve been doing it for years, not a mere few hours. We’ve chatted about the foundations of Axl’s town and the importance of the trade route between his city and the southern realm of Cardrayton. They exchange wine and spirits and coveted steel for the delicacies found in his ocean.

Conversing with him is easy, but I’m a sucker for how Kal talks up the Sapphire Cove as if it’s as much his city as it is Axl’s. The admiration and respect and genuine friendship between the two has me swooning just a bit. And I can’t help but settle into the more relaxed feel of Axl’s coastal town. It feels different than the innovative Ruby Aire—less pressure, more fun. Kind of like Axl.

“Let’s head home, kitten,” Axl says after we’ve fallen into one of the comfortable lulls between conversations. He motions toward another set of cracked and weathered stone steps, these leading up the highest ridge of the cliffs. I walk where he indicates, climbing steadily with Kal following me. Thank goddess the demands of the Ashlands have kept me fit all these years, or I wouldn’t be able to keep up.

“I can’t wait to see it.” I do my best to disregard the presence I feel trailing behind us.

The Occuli. They waited for Axl’s permission before they pursued our little trio, but it’s still hard to ignore them.

I blush at the thought of the Occuli reporting to all of Lumathyst about the three of us on the beach, me sandwiched between the two powerful men, even if we were only talking.

What would they report if they’d caught all three of us on that beach doing something other than talking?

Heat streaks through me, images racing through my mind. Kal behind me, Axl in front, their mouths on my body. Think of the illustrations; the royal post would be scandalized. And with Kal’s taste for public escapades, I’m worried my little fantasy may be inevitable.

That should probably bother me more than it does, but it’s hard when I’m so wrapped up in them. In the way they make me feel—untouchable, claimed, desired, worshipped.

Stop.

I scold myself for getting lost in the idea that this can actually be my life.

It can’t.

Even if I wanted it to…there are too many secrets between us already, all of which they’d send me packing for, or worse, if they uncovered them.

I blow out a breath, taking Axl’s outstretched hand as we climb.

“I still can’t believe you won,” Axl says, the confession rolling off his tongue. He scrunches his face in the most adorably innocent way, the look so uncanny on an intimidating giant like him.

“What?” I laugh. “I bet that doesn’t happen often.”

Axl’s long black hair hangs in loose waves dried by the sun. “It doesn’t.” He nods to Kal behind me. “The Legends, maybe. But never…” His voice trails off, and I swallow hard. I hate that I compare myself to the previous potentials, but it’s hard not to.

Is he making me feel special because he’s desperate for a mate?

The same doubts I had about Kal spring up with Axl, and I cringe against the onslaught. It’s not fair of me to compare them, either. Not one of the Legends is like the other, and I’m discovering that I like it…I like it a lot. These weeks with them certainly won’t be boring.

“It feels kind of nice to lose for once,” Axl says, and Kal rolls his eyes as we clear the last step, walking onto a curving pathway that leads to a stunning sandstone villa with a shimmering sapphire roof perched atop the highest peak of the cliff, overlooking the crashing ocean below.

“This is mine,” Axl says as we reach a bright-blue door. He unlocks it, holding the door open for me to enter.

The floors are a rich wood, the walls covered in pictures of the town, the people, and the ocean he loves so much. The entryway opens up to a wide space, a kitchen on the left and a sitting room with a fireplace on the right. Floor-to-ceiling windows frame the exterior wall, connecting to a balcony with the most gorgeous view of the now-setting sun. Bare wooden stairs lead up to what I can only guess is Axl’s bedroom.

“I love it,” I say, striding across the room and through the balcony doors, leaning against the sandstone railing to watch the sunset. Kal settles in on my left, and relief at the loss of the Occuli unravels some tension in me. The pair of conjurers is no doubt lingering outside in that unmoving way they do.

This is as much a dream as the Ruby Aire was, and I still have two more cities to explore. My heart jolts a little at the idea of entering the Obsidian City, but with how Jax treats me lately, he may not invite me in the end. Something about that makes me feel hollow in a way I have no right to be—I barely know him well enough to feel sad over his lack of attention.

I barely know Axl, either, but it feels like we’ve known each other a long time. Longer than the month it’s been, longer than the few times we met as a group in the Ruby Aire. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve barely been able to explain a thing since the night of the Choosing. Why start getting caught up in logistics now?

Axl follows us out, leaning his back against the railing to my right so he can look down at me.

Goddess, he looks amazing like that, the sun setting on the ocean behind him, the slight salty breeze blowing through his long black hair. Desire becomes a tangible thing in my core, burning my previous thoughts to ash.

“What do you want, kitten?” Axl asks, his voice all low and rough in a way that makes it sound like the salt from the ocean has rubbed his vocal cords raw over the years.

My pulse skitters, the possibilities racing through my mind.

“For the wager,” he continues, and I blow out a breath.

Right. The wager. Of course.

Reality sinks over me like a lead weight, the panic from Baydel’s vague threats cracking open in my chest. I’d wanted to tell Kal about Erin, but how could I reveal my biggest weakness to someone I wasn’t sure would accept me for who I was in the end?

It doesn’t matter anymore.

Kal hadn’t scolded me for keeping my sister a secret this morning on our ride over to the Sapphire Cove, so I highly doubt he or Axl would have intentions to do so now.

Either way, Baydel had made the choice for me. Axl and his playfulness have given me the shot I need at getting information without having to beg. Still, it’s hard to work the request out of my mouth, my heart begging me to not expose myself in such a way.

Axl turns toward me, grazing a hand along my jaw, tipping my head to meet his eyes. “It can’t be that bad, kitten. Tell me.”

His golden eyes almost look worried, but I take a breath, then finally speak. “I have a sister,” I say, and his eyebrows rise as I shift so I can face both him and Kal.

“I’d love to meet her,” Axl says.

Kal gives me an encouraging smile.

I huff out a laugh, wondering for the first time what Erin would make of him, of Kal and Pierce and Jax. I wonder if she’d think we were a good fit—

What am I thinking? Of course we’re not a good fit. I’m a demi, an Ashlander—two of the things they loathe most.

“I wish you could,” I say and actually mean it. “I wish both of you could.” Despite the risks, the consequences, I’d rather Erin be here with me than not. “But she disappeared a little over a year ago.”

Kal tilts his head, reaching down to squeeze my hand while Axl slides his arms around me, tucking me closer against him. “What happened?”

“I never knew,” I answer. “Until Baydel brought her up.” I grind out his name. “He said she volunteered for a Never List mission.” I look to Kal. “Last night, at dinner.” I can’t tell either of them the reasons I don’t believe it’s true…that I saw the list and didn’t find her name, that other parts of the records Baydel read weren’t true.

A muscle in Axl’s jaw ticks. “Okay, and what you want is…”

“I’d love to know where my sister is,” I say, emotion clogging my throat. “I’m not sure if Baydel was telling the truth,” I hedge, looking at Kal. “I saw something in the Ruby Aire—a painting I know my sister did.”

“The cat painting,” Kal says, clarity dawning in his eyes. “That’s why you asked so much about it.”

I nod. “You said it’d been painted in the last six months,” I continue, looking to Axl. “I don’t know how she could’ve painted that if she’s been on a Never List mission. Either way, just knowing she’s safe would mean everything to me.” I swallow hard. “I wasn’t ridiculous enough to ask Baydel…especially after the execution. He doesn’t like me very much.”

“It’s good that you didn’t ask him,” Kal says. “You should always come to us. Baydel can be…”

“He lives with a stick up his ass,” Axl finishes for Kal. “I’ll do some research on her whereabouts.”

“Really?” I ask, hopes lifting. “What if Baydel finds out? What if he—”

“Fuck Baydel,” he says, shocking me to my core. It’s rare to hear anyone so blatantly insult a king. “It’s not like me looking into your sister will break any laws. And besides, we made a wager. You won. I never go back on a deal. This is what you want, so this is what you’ll get.”

“I’ll help, too,” Kal offers. “No wager needed.”

“I don’t know how to thank you both.”

The fact that Kal so readily wants to help shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. I can’t turn off my survival instincts that are questioning everything.

“You don’t have to,” Kal says, running his thumb across the back of my hand, and Axl nods his agreement.

I swallow hard, desperately wanting to get back to more neutral territory. “You know, with a nickname like the Player, I thought it meant you liked to play the field, but it’s more a nod to your wagers and playful attitude, isn’t it?”

Axl grins at me. “Definitely,” he says. “And while Kal and myself and Pierce and Jax are open to sharing you, we’ll only have eyes for you.”

I’ve never experienced such easy communication before, such honesty with needs expressed. “I don’t know what to say…about the wager.”

“One, you earned it, so you don’t have to thank me. I’m sure you know how much I love games like this,” he says, grinning mischievously at me. “Two,” he continues, smoothing his hand over my hip, “I hope you know what you’re asking for.” Hesitation flutters over his strong features. “You may not like what we find.” He eyes Kal with concern.

A lump forms in my throat, but I shove it down. “My parents died on a Never List mission,” I answer as calmly as I can. “I understand what you two might discover.”

“I hate to hear that, kitten,” Axl says, fully enveloping me in an embrace.

Kal gently releases my hand, letting me fully sink into Axl. I inhale his sea-and-salt scent, allowing myself to believe everything will work out in the end.

Too soon, Axl shifts me out of his arms, motioning inside. “The villa is yours,” he says. “Make yourself comfortable. We’ll be back in an hour.”

“Wait, what? You two are going now ?” I ask, following him and Kal inside the house. Axl slides his feet into a pair of black boots, grabs a black leather jacket—the one with the Legends’ crest embellished on the back, identical to the one they all wear—and slips into it.

“You want answers, and I want to give them to you,” he says, striding over to me and planting me with a toe-curling kiss. He nips my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth for a second before he pulls away, leaving me completely stunned and buzzing with need. “When I come back, I want you sprawled naked on my bed so Kal and I can have our way with you.”

Kal chuckles where he waits for Axl, shrugging as I arch a brow at him.

I stutter a breath, barely able to form a response before they’re out the door.

I don’t, in fact, get naked and lie around waiting for Axl. Not that the idea isn’t splendid, but my nerves are too shot.

It’s been over three hours, the sun giving way to the moon over the ocean long ago. I tried to eat, tried to browse the books on the shelves surrounding his fireplace, but I can’t concentrate. All I can think is that with Axl and Kal’s digging, they’ll unearth the truth about me and that will be the end.

I graze my fingers along my neck, wondering if they’d let Baydel publicly execute me like he did the supposed demi yesterday. Like they did when demis attempted to start a revolution. A chill skirts along my skin at the image of the Legends looking at me in disgust while Baydel choreographs a dance to the tune of my death—

The front door swings open, and I yelp, shaken by the scenario playing out in my mind.

“Cover up, kitten! We have two more than expected!” Axl calls as if he expects me to be doing as he told me—lying in his bed in wait. “Oh,” he says when he rounds the corner, finding me tucked on his blue velvet couch, my arms around my knees. “You didn’t listen to me,” he says in a gravelly tone. “Guess I’ll have to punish you later.”

Warm tendrils of relief swirl inside me, not an ounce of fear of whatever punishment he may have—not when he’s looking at me like I’m his favorite treat. My heart lifts to my throat as footsteps sound behind him, and Kal rounds the corner, then Pierce, then Jax.

Kal immediately wraps his arms around me, and I sigh against the touch as he lifts me off my feet, holding me to him.

“Easy,” Axl warns in a playful tone from behind me. “You’ll make me jealous. That’ll be another punishment.”

Heat pools low in my core. Hearing his words while Kal is holding me against him is almost too much to take without whimpering. I manage, and Kal sets me on my feet. I settle back onto the couch, Axl slipping an arm around my shoulders as I lean against him. I eye him curiously before watching Pierce and Jax take up the opposite armchairs closer to the fireplace, with Kal closing me in on my open side.

“Legend meeting?” I ask innocently, my pulse skyrocketing in the presence of all four of them. Axl’s house isn’t as large as Kal’s—it’s cozier, more minimalist—and their powers fill the room so much, it’s hard to breathe. It’s like being outside right before a massive thunderstorm. I can feel the intensity in my bones.

“Sort of,” Axl says, flashing me an apologetic look.

My heart drops to my stomach.

They know. Axl and Kal brought Jax and Pierce here to deal with me. The punishments are real, not some sexy innuendo.

The power in my blood rises, panic clawing up my spine in a desperate rush to get out.

For some reason, some buried instinct or pathetic imagined attachment, my eyes go to Jax’s. I want his searing indigo eyes to be the last thing I see before they deal with me.

“Here’s the thing, kitten,” Axl says, his voice calm, smooth. He waves an arm toward Kal, Pierce, and Jax. “We share everything, as I’m sure you’ve realized. It’s how we operate. If you’re going to stick around,” he says, then moves his lips to my ear and whispers, “which I hope you do…”

Chills erupt on my skin, skittering down my neck and settling deep in my core.

“Then you’ll have to accept that,” Axl continues at a normal volume. “We don’t keep secrets from one another. Not with stuff that matters.”

I can’t find the words to respond, so I merely nod.

Is he talking about my secrets? Secrets he discovered while searching for information on Erin?

“You asked me and Kal to find information on your sister after what Baydel read at dinner,” Axl says.

A muscle in Jax’s jaw ticks, and he leans back in his seat, unsheathing a blade from the holster beneath his leather jacket and flipping it end over end.

“But what I’ve found needs to be said in front of all of us.”

Oh goddess. I’m so fucked.

How am I going to explain lying? How can I explain keeping the fact that I’m a demi from them? Wait . There is no way anyone would know I’m a demi… The only other souls alive who do are Erin, Layce, and Ivy, and they’d never sell me out. No, he can only know about the Ashlander part—

“I’m sorry, kitten,” he says, drawing me back to the present. “There is no record of your sister ever accepting a Never List mission. Either Baydel made that up or he had a false record.”

My stomach catapults to the floor.

She’s gone.

She actually abandoned me and never looked back.

Relief and grief mix together in a wave I let ride out inside me.

This is good. This means Baydel was using the information to give credit to the vague threat.

“But Baydel said…” I finally murmur, expressing the proper reaction instead of revealing the cards playing out in my mind.

“Exactly,” Axl says. “Why would he say that to you if it wasn’t true?”

“He hates me,” I explain, looking directly at Jax while I say it. “Ever since I denied him that first night. Ever since he learned I’m…from one of the lower cities.”

Kal smooths a hand over my thigh, supportive, claiming, comforting.

Jax tracks the move, visibly swallowing as he returns his focus to the blade in his hand.

“Baydel hates everyone,” Jax says, that slick, sardonic tone dripping over me like warm honey. Damn him. How can he basically ignore me every time he sees me and still affect me so badly?

“I seem to bring out the worst in him,” I answer, settling deeper into Axl and Kal. My fun place, my safe place.

“It does pose the question,” Pierce says, head tilted in that signature calculative way of his. Goddess, he looks so much like his father when he makes that expression.

He wears an emerald green shirt beneath his leather jacket, and I blink a few times to appreciate that this is the first look I’ve gotten at him out of the suits. I like him in both, but there’s a strategic set to his brown eyes right now that makes my fingers tremble.

“To what end would he deliver this information to our dear Rylee?” he continues. “What does he gain from the lie?”

“Control,” Jax says, catching the blade in midair.

“Why would he want control over Rylee?” Kal asks.

Jax smiles that brutal, lethal smile of his. “He’s scared of her.”

My eyes widen.

Jax leans his elbows on his knees, the position making his focus on me intensify. Something crackles against my skin—not like lightning but something deeper…a pull on my soul I can’t explain. His indigo eyes are searing as they hold mine, and I have the oddest impulse to stand up, cross the room, and drop to my knees right there in front of everyone. Maybe talk some sense into him, make him remember why he chose me in the first place.

I don’t, and the second I blink, glancing to Axl and then Kal, Jax goes slack in his seat again.

“You believe Baydel thinks she’s the one ,” Pierce says, not asks. “Intriguing.”

Jax returns to playing with his blade.

“If she’s the one, then she’s a threat,” Kal says, almost as if he’s forgotten I’m sitting right exactly here. “Despite Baydel’s insistence that he wants us to unlock our powers to keep the offerings to our mothers strong. Why does he see Rylee as a threat and not the others?”

“Indeed,” Pierce says, looking at me more closely. We’ve spent the least amount of time together, but there is something there, pulsing behind his intelligent eyes, that has my instincts reaching for him.

Maybe that’s it.

Maybe the only reason Baydel fears I’m the one is because I don’t react the way the other potentials did. I’m not coy or shy or timid. Not skittish around their powers. Not when I’ve grown up around power my entire life—Erin and Ivy and Layce—each of us carrying a heavy dose of power in our own right.

Goddess damn it. My plan to make them fall for me has made me an even bigger target for the kings.

“Maybe he buried the information,” I hurry to say before I can spiral too far. “Maybe he knew I’d ask you to look for my sister.”

“It’s possible,” Pierce says. “I wouldn’t put it past him to fuck with us on this.” The curse word sounds elegant coming from his lips, and a deep shiver tickles my insides. Pierce winks at me like he senses it.

“Why would he go out of his way to intimidate her after pushing you to make a good choice this year, Jax?” Axl asks.

Jax’s eyes follow his blade into the air and back to his hand, contemplative. “Why does he do anything he does?” he asks, snatching the blade out of the air and slamming it down into the arm of the chair.

“That’s the fourth chair you owe me,” Axl says, seemingly unsurprised by Jax’s behavior.

He jerks the knife out of the woodgrain, standing and bowing slightly to Axl. “Put it on my tab.” He sheathes the knife, striding out of the room and around the corner, the front door slamming on his way out.

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m off the couch and following him through the front door, racing after him with my bare feet hitting the stone path in front of Axl’s house.

“Jax!” His name is a plea from my lips, the unanswered questions, the avoidance all building to a crescendo inside me. “Jax, wait!”

He halts at the edge of the stone path but doesn’t turn around.

Heat— searing , raging heat—slices through my veins at his dismissal, at his complete lack of empathy with regard to the choice he made that night.

I stomp toward him, no longer caring that he’s the Nightmare and I should tread carefully. I’m already in way over my head here.

“Why didn’t you rescind your choice?” I ask, gripping his arm and forcing him to turn and face me.

His glare is harsh, his eyes narrowed as he looks down at me. The night sky stretches behind him, and his blue-black hair is slicked back and away from his face, highlighting his sharp features—the lean cut of his nose, the strong jaw, the full lips with a smirk that could surely kill.

“Rescind my choice?” he asks, his tone half mocking, half serious.

“Yeah,” I say, breathless. Adrenaline is racing through me, demanding I fight or flee or fuck. I’m not sure which. “You keep calling me a liar—”

“You are a liar,” he cuts me off. He tilts his head back and inhales deeply, closing his eyes for a moment as he shudders. “Every time I’m around you,” he continues, eyes locking on mine. “Your lies hum against me. Constant. Buzzing. Butterfly.”

I swallow hard, defiant as I glare up at him. “I could be lying about my favorite color or hiding the fact that I think most royals are pompous, entitled assholes.”

His grin is lethal. “That was the truth.”

“If you regret choosing me so damn badly, why not stop it right there? That night? Why not go to the kings and tell them to choose for you—”

His hand gently curls around my throat, stopping my words. The touch is soft but claiming as he holds me there, inching closer as those indigo eyes roam over every line of my face.

“I don’t regret my choice,” he says, his words washing over me like the sweetest caress. His fingers flex on my neck, just the slightest pressure that sends a bolt of heat throbbing between my thighs. “But I told you before: I hate liars.”

He releases me, the move so jarring I gasp like he was truly choking me. He takes a few steps back, eyes knowingly on Axl’s door. Not a second later, Pierce ambles through it, focus darting between the two of us.

“I’ve been dismissed,” Pierce says when he reaches us. He takes my hand, planting a kiss on the back of it. “Until next time, my darling.”

A flutter of heat makes my head spin.

“You coming?” Pierce asks Jax, who is staring at me with that unrelenting gaze.

Stay with me.

Choose me again.

I want to shout the words at him, but he flinches like some invisible force has shoved him. He nods to Pierce, silently turning to follow him away from Axl’s home and down the steps, disappearing into the night.

I stand there for a few moments, collecting my thoughts and shaking my head at the man I can’t even begin to understand. He doesn’t regret choosing me but says he hates me in the same heartbeat?

After a few deep breaths, I shake off the interaction, more than ready to go back inside and find a way to forget all the worries bouncing inside my mind. I close the door behind me and lean back against it with my eyes closed.

“Kitten.” Axl’s voice is coated in demand, making every worry and doubt disappear.

“Axl,” I reply, opening my eyes to find him and Kal standing in the entryway.

“About your punishment,” he says, smirking. “You have two options.”

A thrill rushes through me as I look between them.

“One, you can come back to the couch, and we’ll spend the evening hashing this out together, going over every strategy until we’re exhausted…whatever you need.”

I dip my chin, warmth radiating through my chest at the offer.

“Or two,” he continues. “You can walk that sweet ass upstairs and do as you were told earlier.” His grin is devious, and Kal’s is the same. “Maybe if you do it fast enough, we’ll go easy on you.”

I wet my lips, my heart racing at the options laid before me. Sure, we need to figure out what Baydel wants, where his true intentions lie, but I’m exhausted from worrying. And since they didn’t find anything on Erin, part of me believes she is living her best life, happy, safe, far away from the king’s reach…even if it’s a betrayal of me, her fucking sister .

So, right now? I just want to be .

“What’s it going to be, Rylee?” Kal asks, blue eyes flickering.

My choice. It’s always my choice with them.

I bite down on my smile, holding up two fingers before I bound up the stairs.