Page 19 of The Never List (Never List #1)

Rylee

“I can’t believe our month is up,” Kal says from across the candlelit table. We’re at least one hundred stories up, dining privately on the rooftop of one of his buildings.

“It’s gone by fast,” I say as the server clears our plates and refills our drinks. I’m not lying or playing a part, either. It has gone by fast. Faster than I would’ve imagined when I first woke up in the palace four weeks ago.

In that time, I’ve learned so much about Kal and his ambitions. Where I once thought the Legend of Chaos nicknamed the Dreamer delighted in crushing people’s dreams for sport, I’ve discovered that he works diligently to make them come true. Countless evidence met me every day here in the Ruby Aire as I watched him work out of this very building.

He invests in his people—their inventions, their innovative ideas, their artistic endeavors—and the percentages he takes from their businesses are small, fair, and don’t come into effect until they’re making enough to pay themselves and their employees first. And by doing so, his people have ensured the Ruby Aire supplies the royal city with not only agricultural products but an endless stream of innovations that have made Lumathyst one of the most wealthy and prosperous kingdoms.

I admire him for it, but…

The same courtesy isn’t given to the Ashlanders, to the people who supply his city with the rubies everyone wears here as a show of support of their leader and the goddess Neph. Even if the kings claim the Ashlands as theirs, making it untouchable to the Legends, it still stings on a level I can’t express without giving myself away.

Despite that, these weeks with Kal have given me a newfound respect for him, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t grown attached.

It doesn’t matter that the minimum month time limit is up and that I’m free to reject them…to take my nobility increase and leave—I can’t. My secret would be revealed before I had a chance to truly make them fall for me, and being imprisoned or dying would certainly end the search for my sister.

But more than that…I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to reject them.

Especially not Kal. Not after the last month.

I want more, despite being terrified of the cost.

“Dance with me?” Kal asks after we’ve finished our drinks.

On cue, music filters all around us. Kal must have triggered the sound with a wave of power. It fills the rooftop with slow, sparkly notes that cascade one over the other. I take his hand without hesitation, sighing at the contact as he pulls me from my chair and twirls me away from the table, away from my overanalyzing thoughts.

We come together after the spin, dancing slowly near the edge of the rooftop, his entire city glittering below us. The gauzy fabric of my green dress flares above my knees with every twirl, my heels clicking on the floor.

Kal slides a hand behind me, tucking me closer as he leads with my hand in his other. Something heavy settles on my chest with the movement as memories of dancing with Jax at the Choosing fill my mind.

“You’re somewhere else,” Kal says, never missing a beat, the perceptive ass.

“I’m here,” I assure him.

He spins us again, keeping time to the music, his powerful body whirling us around the roof with ease. “You’re thinking about Jax, aren’t you?” He motions to our joined hands. “What happened between you that night?” His voice is smooth, calm, not a hint of jealousy anywhere. “You never speak of it.”

I wet my lips, trying to find the right words to describe what happened. The memory, the longing—it’s assaulted me more than once and only magnifies after each time I’ve seen him when he comes for the Legends’ weekly meetings. It doesn’t matter that he treats me like the liar I am; I still ache for the charged energy and banter we shared that night.

“We spoke,” I finally say. “He asked me to dance.”

“He asked you?” Kal’s left eyebrow rises an inch.

“Is that not normal?”

Kal shakes his head with a smile. “For Jax? No. For me?” He twirls me out from his embrace and then expertly draws me back against him. “I’m an excellent dancer.”

I laugh, the tension breaking from my chest. “I can see that.”

“What’s bothering you?”

I swallow hard. Kal and I have grown close over the past few weeks, and not just in the sense that he knows how to make my body sing. I’d call him a friend, maybe even something more if I allowed myself to go that far, but either way, it’s more than what I thought I’d have when I started this mess.

“He barely looks at me,” I admit on a rushed breath. “Barely speaks to me.”

Kal leans his head back, eyes on the night sky. “Ah,” he says, glancing down at me as the music continues. “Jax is a complicated, complex person.”

“That, I already know.”

“His powers are an exceptional gift,” he tells me. “But also a heavy burden. Not that he’ll ever admit it. Controlling emotions is a powerful ability, but constantly feeling everyone’s emotions? That weighs on him. He lives between two moods—feeling everything all at once or doing his best to feel nothing at all.”

My heart clenches with understanding. “He says I’m hiding things,” I say timidly.

“Of course you are,” Kal says, moving us to the music.

“That doesn’t bother you?”

His eyes are sincere as he holds me. “We all have secrets, Rylee. And I have hope that when you fully trust me, you’ll tell me whatever it is you don’t want us to know.”

Warmth spreads throughout my chest, my heart, crashing against the walls I’ve tried so desperately to keep in place. Kal has definitely breached those walls, no matter how much I’d like to deny it.

Kal spins us again. “Jax knows that, too,” he continues, “on some level. His distance from you has more to do with protecting himself from you than from whatever it is you aren’t voicing.”

I consider this, wanting to accept it. It makes sense, sure, but Kal wasn’t there with us the night of the Choosing. He didn’t feel Jax’s laugh in his bones, didn’t shiver at his smile, didn’t go loose and pliant in his arms. Jax felt something that night that made him choose me, but the moment I was chosen, the lies I had to tell to keep myself alive separated me from him. And they always will, and there isn’t a goddess-damned thing I can do about it.

But Kal…Kal has done everything to make me feel comfortable, safe, adored . It may be hard for me to believe his words about secrets not mattering in the end, but I can at least revel in the fantasy while I can.

Not for the first time, I’m tempted to ask him for help finding my sister.

I haven’t been able to get Erin’s painting near the library out of my head since the day I spotted it. I’ve looked for her artwork everywhere since but haven’t found anything more. And try as I might, I haven’t been able to come up with any reason for why the painting is there, except that Erin decided to leave after last year’s Choosing and search out a better life than the one she had in the Ashlands, even if it meant leaving me behind. As much as I don’t want to believe it, nothing else makes sense.

Even so, I can’t give up that easily. I deserve answers, regardless of her intentions. There have been so many instances in the past month when I’ve almost asked Kal for help, the request on the tip of my tongue, but I’ve always swallowed it down with a heavy dose of fear .

Letting any one of them know about how desperate I am to find my sister gives them even more power over me than they already have. And I’m not ready to be completely vulnerable with them in that way yet. But the fact that I can even contemplate feeling safe enough to ask eventually is something I never expected.

“Thank you,” I say, focusing on the wonderful man whose arms I’m in.

“For what?” he asks innocently.

“For explaining those details about Jax to me,” I say, moving my free hand from his arm to his chest, drawing closer. “For everything you’ve done for me. I didn’t expect…” I let my voice trail off, unable to go further into what I actually expected—being forced to be a trophy the Legends could play with whenever they want, only to stow me away when they lose interest. Being tested by the kings at every turn. Being nothing but a pretty prize for the Occuli to gape at.

Icy shivers dance over my skin at the thought. I’m thankful that the stalking conjurers are nowhere to be seen. A small mercy Kal had arranged tonight.

“I will miss you,” he says, shifting so our bodies are flush.

Something tugs at the center of my chest, a swell of emotions washing over me.

“Can I admit something to you?” I ask, the breath tight in my lungs.

“Anything,” he says, sliding his hand along my cheek.

I bite my lip, wondering if what I’m about to admit will offend him. It’s his best friend I’m about to ask about, after all.

“Whatever it is,” he says when I hesitate, “you can tell me. I promise.”

I blow out a breath. “I know I told Axl yes when he asked me to at the Legend meeting, and I’m not taking back that yes , but I’m…reluctant to leave you.”

I cringe slightly at how pathetic that sounds out loud. It’s been a month, and already I’m so attached. But can he really blame me? I’ve found nothing but comfort and safety and passion with Kal, and while Axl hasn’t given me any reason to believe he’ll be different…it’s hard to dive so willingly into the unknown.

Kal’s smile is supportive and warm as he looks down at me. “Though I would never want you to feel reluctant, can I say I’m the slightest bit honored you don’t want to leave me just yet?”

A soft laugh tumbles from my lips at his grin—all male pride and confidence.

“Is it ridiculous?” I ask as he moves us around to the music. “I know the Choosing rules. I know I need to spend a month in each of your territories.”

“You’re not being ridiculous at all,” he assures me. “And yes, that’s a rule our mothers laid out in the Choosing, but nowhere does it state that you have to go to each territory alone.”

My eyebrows rise at that.

“We told you that first night, Rylee. With us, it’s your choice—just as you chose me for your first month. If you’d feel more comfortable with me tagging along to the Sapphire Cove for the first few days, or even the entirety of your month there, I will.”

Relief uncoils a tight thing in my chest. “Won’t that…upset Axl?” I ask.

“No,” he says. “I promise you, he won’t mind. I know him better than anyone, and I can say with confidence that he wants you to feel comfortable and safe. If that means I come with you, then I come with you.”

I sigh as the notion settles deep inside me. “Axl doesn’t make me feel unsafe,” I explain. “Not at all. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about him.” A flush rakes over my cheeks, our previous flirtatious moments igniting a lick of flame beneath my skin. “It’s just hard to let you go.” That admission feels like a risk, somehow, as if I’ve given him a piece of me I should’ve protected.

Kal pulls me closer, the embrace a warm comfort as we continue to dance to the music. “I understand,” he says. “You don’t have to decide now. Sleep on it and tell me what you want tomorrow.”

“You’re too kind,” I say, meaning it. I shake my head. “You’re probably ready to be rid of me. I shouldn’t be asking you to extend your time—”

“Even a night away from you will feel like a lifetime,” he cuts me off, nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

My heart skips. No one has ever spoken to me the way Kal does—without fear or judgment, with nothing but pure passion and support. It’s hard to get used to, and I definitely don’t have the right words to say back.

“Axl will take excellent care of you, though,” he says, laughing to himself. “If you decide to go alone. I want you to know that.”

“Should I be worried?” I laugh with him.

“No,” he says. “From what I’ve learned about you, you’re going to love his antics. I know I do.”

A warm tendril works its way down my center at his playful, endearing words about his friend. An image of the two of them together, me between them, makes me flush with need. The more I picture it, the more I’m leaning toward asking Kal to come with me to the Sapphire Cove.

“Any tips?” I ask.

Kal considers, twirling me again. “Try to sleep when you can,” he answers when he draws me to him once more. “Axl runs at full speed ninety percent of the day. When he finally goes down to rest, you need to as well, or you’ll kill yourself trying to keep up.”

Goddess .

“I’ll be sure to do that,” I assure him as he slides me closer, every hard muscle pressing against my softer ones.

“Now,” he says as the music fades and switches to a new melody, “I have one important thing to ask you.”

“What’s that?” Apprehension and excitement tingle beneath my skin.

He leans down so his lips graze the shell of my ear, sending a delightful shiver of along my neck. “Do you trust me?”

The answer clogs in my throat. Do I trust him? With my body? Absolutely. With my heart? My soul? How can I possibly give him those, when not two hours ago I heard them talking about the Ashlanders like they were a separate people from Lumathyst? How can I be sure he wouldn’t chuck me off this balcony if he knew the truth?

Kal plants kisses along my neck, soothing the panic whirling in my mind.

“Yes,” I finally answer, though it’s only a partial truth. I trust him with pieces of myself, and that will have to be enough for now.

“That’s good,” he says, nipping at the soft patch of skin beneath my jaw, causing me to close my eyes and sigh as I arch against him, giving him better access. His arms slide around me, holding me to him in a way that makes me ache in all the right places. “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?” he asks, shoving some of the lusty haze away from my mind.

“No.” There were countless times I’d been selected to go to the highest peaks in the mountains in the Ashlands in search of the rarest minerals or gems. I grip the lapels of his suit jacket, wanting him closer.

“Open your eyes,” he says, shifting away from teasing my neck.

I meet his eyes first, then immediately gasp as I take in our surroundings.

We’re so far above the roof, I can barely make out the candles flickering on the table where we had dinner. There is nothing beneath us but tons of sky, the stars twinkling around us like midnight silk.

“Kal.” I breathe his name as he gently moves us forward, one of his hands shifting from my back to my hip.

“Too much?” he asks, genuine concern in his blue eyes.

I can’t hold back my grin, can’t hide the excitement rushing through my veins at the sensation. I let go of him, dipping backward as I extend my arms, feeling weightless and free in his secure hold. The wind in my blood sparkles to life, begging to be released, to be played with this close to the sky.

Kal chuckles as I draw myself back up.

“I love it,” I say, laughing. It’s so quiet up here, so peaceful. The real world is miles away. “Can we stay here forever?”

His eyes darken, and instead of answering, he crushes his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, sighing at the taste of him. He kisses me like it’s the last time we have, all dominating strokes and searing dips until I’m breathless and rocking against him.

“Fuck, Rylee,” Kal groans into my mouth. His hand moves from my hip to my thigh, hiking up my dress until he finds the lace between. “I’ve never been this starved for anyone.” He tears the lace free of my hips with barely a tug.

“Do you understand that?” he asks. “Do you understand what you’ve done to me?”

I tremble against him as he glides his fingers through my warmth. His grin is this side of dangerous, this side of claiming as he slips two fingers inside me. “You feel that?” He curls his fingers, dragging a moan from my lips. “You may not want to say it, but you’re starved for me, too. I can feel it here.” He hits that spot deep inside me that steals my breath, makes me rock against his hand, silently begging for more.

“Yes,” I breathe. “I do, Kal. I want you. All. The. Time.” I enunciate the words in time to his relentless stroking, my body shaking. Part of my mind is trying to comprehend the sheer strength of this man, the way he’s able to hold us suspended while doing delicious things to my body. The other part is spiraling away from reality, reaching that blissful state where nothing outside of us exists.

“Now be a good girl and come on my hand,” he demands, pressing the heel of his palm against that sensitive bundle of nerves. It throbs against the pressure, sending jolts of lightning throughout my body. “I want you drenched for me.”

“Kal.” I practically keen his name when he adds a third finger, stretching me, filling me. Hot desire builds low in my core, and when he curls those fingers at the same time he presses down with his palm—

I shatter against him, my nails digging into his shoulders as my orgasm rips through me. Shivers skitter up and down my spine deliciously as I unravel at his touch. Gently, slowly, Kal works me through it before pulling his fingers back. His eyes are carnal as he captures my mouth in a quick, searing kiss. “Good girl,” he says. The praise slides over my body like honey.

Then we’re moving, shifting in midair so fast, my heart soars up to my throat. Fear is quickly replaced by sheer exhilaration as Kal spins onto his back, leveling out with me atop him. My head spins at the sight of the sky around us, stretching wide like an elemental blanket. In this position, all it would take is one wrong move, one careless shift, and I’d plummet to my death. An unfamiliar thrill radiates along my bones.

Kal flashes me a challenging look. “Can you handle more?”

I reach for the button on his pants. I grip his hips with my thighs, careful and conscious of every single move I make. Goddess, I can feel the thin air kissing my cheeks, can sense the sky all around me even while my eyes are closed. The gift in my blood is singing, thriving, and more than anything, I wish I could share it with Kal. Show him. Trust him enough.

But I know I can’t, so I give myself over to the instincts driving my body.

I lick my hand and wrap it around his shaft, working him up and down in slow, torturous strokes. Kal grips my hips, his powerful hands biting into my skin. I tremble at the touch, arching back on instinct, and nearly topple backward.

“Easy there,” Kal says, righting our position so we’re chest to chest, eye to eye.

I cling to his shoulders, eyes wide as an excited laugh tumbles from me. “What if I fall?”

Kal smooths some of my hair back, shifting beneath me, gliding his hard length through the slickness between my thighs. I tremble at the tease. “I want you to fall,” he says, “knowing I’ll catch you. I’ll always catch you.”

A warm shudder shakes my body. I know what he’s asking, but I don’t have an answer for him. Not now, maybe not ever. How can I possibly fall for him when I’m keeping so many secrets?

“Promise?” I ask instead, loosening my hold on him enough so that I can rock myself against his hardness.

He groans at the contact. “I promise,” he says, running his large hands up my back, holding me close. “I’ll always catch you, Rylee. Anywhere. Anytime. No matter what.”

Goddess, this man. Slowly, I reach between us to guide him where I’m aching for him. I only allow an inch to slip inside before I pull him out, doing it over and over until he’s groaning, kissing my breath away with a dominating force that has me tingling all over again.

“Rylee,” he warns, an edge to his tone that is so rare, I tell myself it only exists for me . The power in it, the rush at driving him as mad as he’s driving me, is more intoxicating than any drink or enhancement drug. “Tease,” he playfully says. “Devious, delicious tease .”

“How bad do you want me?” I ask.

Something flickers in his eyes as he looks at me—something serious, confident, unabashed. “More than the stars around us.”

Finally, my thighs shaking, I sink down on him fully.

Kal groans, arching his neck. I lean down enough to nip at his throat, and his hips thrust upward at the contact. I falter for only a second, clutching his shoulders. It doesn’t matter how many times we’ve done this, how many times he’s slammed home inside me, it still takes me a few seconds to relax around his sheer girth.

He claims my mouth, his tongue flicking against mine, sending shocks of need over my skin. I rock against him, slowly at first, testing out the new surroundings, then harder as I gain my confidence. Each roll of my hips is like a dream. My fingers start to tingle as I glide them over his chest, forgetting everything outside of the feel of him inside me.

Kal breaks our kiss to watch where we connect before he shoots me a smirk and leans back. I yelp at the slight tilt before he levels out, holding himself outstretched as if he were lying on a bed. “I want to watch you ride my cock,” he says, his tone rough.

Warmth pools low in my core, making me slicker as his eyes dip between my thighs again. I take a deep breath, adjusting as I move on him. I gather the skirts of my dress, hiking them up my stomach, bunching them beneath my breasts so he can see everything.

“Like this?” I ask, my voice thick with lust.

“Fuck, yes,” he groans, eyes flickering to mine for only a moment before he returns to watching me move on him. “Just like that.”

My thighs ache from rocking against him, but it’s a kind of delicious burn that only makes the prize that much sweeter. And Kal is the fucking prize. I know that, have known that for some time. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and I’m not sure if I ever will again.

Kal’s hands fly to my hips, gripping them and helping me move, lifting me slightly before lowering me, the powerful man completely in control. I lean back, fearless as he maneuvers my hips, lifting me or rocking me against him. I’m dizzy from the height, from my orgasm, from his power, all of it, and I love it.

I never want it to end.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says. “Riding me. I love you like this.” He reaches up to drag a thumb over my bottom lip, then trails his fingers lower, palming one of my breasts through my dress.

“Kal.” I moan his name, rocking against him with more intensity, chasing what I can feel building again beneath my skin.

He releases my breast, working his way down and over the bunch of fabric I still hold, then lower until he reaches my aching heat. “This what you need?” His question is almost a growl as he lightly touches me there. “This what you want?”

“Goddess,” I groan, moving against him, desperate for that touch. “Yes. Please, Kal,” I beg. “More.”

Kal rises up suddenly, a move so effortless I have to marvel at his power. And it’s only a fraction of what could be if I choose him…choose them all, in the end.

“Remember this,” he says, a plea to his tone. We’re chest to chest again. I keep moving, keep relishing every time we clash together. “Remember I’ll always give you what you need.”

He presses down on that sensitive bundle of nerves just as I take him to the hilt again, and the motions collide in a burst of pleasure that makes me cry out his name so loud, I wonder if the city below can hear me. Waves of sparkling heat cascade down my body. I tremble against him, clenching around him so hard, he finds his release just after mine. Before I can catch my breath, he’s kissing me—a gentle, lazy sort of kiss that unravels me until every inch of my body feels limp and sated.

“Can we stay a little longer?” I ask when I’ve caught my breath.

He leans his forehead against mine. “As long as you want.”

My heart climbs up my throat as I wrap my arms around him. Lucky for me, it blocks the words my instincts are shouting at me to say, because it would do neither of us any good if I begged for forever.