Page 28 of The Lies Always Told (Baker Oaks #4)

I toss myself back onto the bed and close my eyes. The stupid smile on my face is a great reminder of how good I feel near him. It makes me feel less crazy about saying fuck it and giving this a try. I wish I could bottle up this feeling.

I get up and walk to his massive bathroom, draw a bath, and sink myself in the nice, warm, soapy water, close my eyes, and let myself daydream about what this could be.

“Now this is a view I can get used to,” Gus says from behind me, making me tense.

I was so lost in watching the waves, I didn’t even hear him walk in.

I turn around and catch myself smiling at the sight.

Gus is standing at his kitchen island, wearing dark jeans and an open navy polo.

Aviators frame his handsome face, and the smile he’s flashing me is worth millions.

“It’s your house. You know the view you have,” I reply, walking toward him with a pep in my step.

After he left, I soaked in the bath for about thirty minutes and then washed my hair using his shampoo that smells just like him—spicy and fresh.

He has extremely good hair products for a man with short hair, but I’m not one to complain, especially not after I wrap my arms around his neck, and his hands crawl up the back of my hair, tugging gently.

“Mmm, I meant you, in my house, wearing my clothes….and apparently smelling like me too,” he whispers against my ear, his voice groggy, tingling my skin.

He tugs at my hair and tilts my head back so my eyes are locked on his face.

I bring my hands up and take his glasses off so I can see the dark, intense eyes I love so much.

He smells fresh, warm, and spicy, a combination of the shampoo I used on myself, the soap I found in his shower, and something else, lotion, maybe?

“Welcome home,” I whisper and close the space between us, kissing him slowly on the lips and earning a groan.

“Trouble…” he groans against my mouth. I kiss his lower lip, pulling it between mine and biting gently. “Your body needs to rest, and we need to talk…for real this time.”

“I took a bath, and I’m not sore anymore.” A lie. I’m sore as shit, but he smells so good and his skin is so soft, I can’t help myself.

“It kills me to do this, but I’m putting your greedy hands in time out. Come on.” He kisses my forehead and holds my hand, drawing small circles on my wrist.

“Not fair,” I pout, and he cocks an eyebrow at me.

“So greedy.”

“And you like it.” The smile he gives reassures me he does, but then he takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly…and the honeymoon is over. “It’s time, huh?”

“For us to talk more, yes, but before that, I want to show you something.” He guides me to his bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed, right on the side he slept last night, and pulls me to his lap.

He pulls open the first drawer of the night stand and pulls out a bag.

“Open it,” he commands. I look at him, unsure of what this is, but he nudges at me to do it.

His soft smile is hiding a little bit of fear, but it’s reassuring too.

He’s letting me in. He’s letting me see.

I slide the zipper open and find a few orange bottles, all with different names. I hold the first one in hand, a big bottle with big blue pills in it. “For my high blood pressure. It’s controlled, and for the most part, it’s nothing for you to worry about,” he says before I even ask.

I place the bottle on top of the table and grab another one. This one is smaller, with white pills inside. “That one is a diuretic. I retain liquid, so I need help so I don’t blow up like a balloon. It helps my kidneys too.”

“Do you have a kidney condition too?” I ask, and he shakes his head.

“No, but I really don’t need to develop one.

I don’t need more comorbidities than what I have.

I take care of my healthy organs because I never know if they’ll need help one day.

” Organs…including things like his liver or his stomach, which would make sense on why I always see him eating mostly whole foods.

“Is this why you don’t drink?” I ask.

“Protecting my liver.” He nods and smiles.

I put the bottle next to the first one, and then I find a small box with syringes and a clear liquid.

He holds the box and says, “These are my rescue medications. In case of an attack, like on the boat, this is what I need. I have a set everywhere—the house, the cars, the plane, the villa, but I was reckless and didn’t think to check if I had some on the boat too. ”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m human, and I was so lost in you, I forgot about everything else.” I lower my head after he says those words, but his fingers hold my chin and lift my face up to see him. “Not your fault, baby girl. Mine. My responsibility. My recklessness, and I’m sorry.”

“This,” he adds when I nod, blinking away tears threatening to spill as he holds a small container, “is my daily medication for the attacks, or flare ups, whatever you want to call them. Attacks is more accurate, but it’s such a rough word, I rather call them flare ups.

I take these every day, and it manages my symptoms. If I skip it, well, you saw what happened. ”

“How often do the attacks happen?”

“It depends, but before the one you witnessed, I haven’t had one that severe in over a year.

Which leads me to the next thing.” He slides his hand in the bag, taking out an EpiPen.

“This. This won’t stop the attack, but it will keep me alive.

I have one of these everywhere, but at the moment, I couldn’t remember where I put them in the boat.

I would love to show you how to use it,” he says.

“I know how. We have training at school for those. I know how to identify the symptoms too.” I smile, reassuring him, and open the bag more to see it’s empty. “What? No more medicine? I was starting to think this was an endless bag.”

He chuckles, and everything is good in the world again. I put all his medicines back in the bag, zip it closed, and hand it to him. I kiss him on the cheek and say, “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

“Thank you for listening.” He places the bag back in the drawer, closing it with a loud thud.

“It’s part of who you are. I’m sorry if someone has ever made you feel like they don’t care,” I reply, bringing my hand up to cup his face.

He closes his eyes slowly, and when his onyx irises meet mine, I can see all the unspoken emotion behind them.

“Gus…you know this is not everything you are, right? You’re more than all of these conditions, but they are part of you, and that’s okay too.

It’s a little scary, yes, but just because of the lack of information. I’m sure it was scary for you too.”

“It was. It is,” he whispers.

“When I was a little girl, I used to be afraid of a lot of things. Actually, as I got older and kept learning random shit nobody my age should be worrying about, I got scared of more. A lot more, and you know what someone very important to me told me at twelve years old?” He shakes his head, but he doesn’t break my gaze, which I really like.

I love that even though his eyes are so intense and all the emotions coursing betweens us are heightened, he still looks at me.

“She told me I didn’t have to carry it all on my own. She told me it might be easier if I shared the load, even when I didn’t think it was worth sharing. Gus, I’m willing to share yours.”

“See, I knew you were trouble. You have no business making me this emotional,” he replies, and I smile before bringing my lips to his.

I hold his face and kiss him, gently, tentative, and slow as I show him with this kiss that I can be patient for him.

I show him with this kiss that I want more than just his body.

I don’t speed it up, I don’t deepen it, I just take my time savoring him.

It’s emotional and raw, and it feels like layers and layers were just peeled back on this barrier between us.

We slow the kiss until our lips are barely touching and we’re just breathing each other in.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“For what, kissing you?” I ask.

“For listening.” Our foreheads touch before he shakes his head and breaks the contact.

His eyes sober quickly, and then he adds, “I’m glad we talked about us and I’m glad we’re both on the same page.

We want this, we want us.” He stops talking, but his dark eyes hold my gaze as his hand caresses my leg from my knee to my upper thigh, the tip of his fingers leaving goosebumps as he moves them.

“But…”

“No buts. I’m just trying to figure out what that means for the rest of the world. Are we dating just for us? Are we letting our families know? How public is this? ”

“Gus—” I cock my head sideways and beam at him, “— are you nervous?”

“I just don’t want this to be an issue.”

“Who the fuck cares what other people think?” I ask, crossing my arms over my breasts.

“It’s not that I care about others’ opinions, but I’m worried how our moms are going to react, and if I’m being honest, I’m terrified of Allie too.

” Allie—his sister and my sister’s best friend— is a sweetheart, but I can imagine she can be a little mean too…

just like Cara. She recently moved back to Baker Oaks as well.

I can see how it can be a touchy subject.

“Okay,” I say, my voice softening. I take his hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I get it. You don’t want to rock the boat with everyone, but listen, we’ve talked about this, and we want this, right?

We’re not rushing into anything, and I’m not asking you to make any big declarations until we’re ready. But I’m here.”

He looks at me for a long moment, like he’s weighing what I said. Then, he takes a deep breath, nodding. “So what do you suggest we do? Keep it low-key, see how everything pans out?”

I nod. “Exactly. I think we should keep it quiet for now, just let it breathe a bit, and when we feel like it’s time, we’ll tell them.”

“Allie’s boyfriend, Jake, asked me to participate in his proposal next week.

” I smile as he says that. “I know, I’m excited too.

He has this whole thing planned that Manny is helping execute.

They will all be in Nashville. I would ask you to come with me, but it would be highly suspicious if you do.

How about I go and see if I can talk to Manny and Cara, and we can go from there? ”

“But until then, let’s keep this between us,” I add, and he nods. Gus leans back, rubbing his forehead, looking like he’s thinking it through before nodding again .

“You know what that means, though, right?” I ask.

“What?” his head tilts to the side so he’s looking at me, and when I smile, he returns it.

“We have some time to sneak around like teenagers afraid of getting caught.” For the first time in my life, I’m willing to be selfish and do something for myself.

I didn’t get to sneak around and have some fun when I should have, so I might as well enjoy it now.

He’s giving me the space I need to figure this out, and I’m willing to take it.